Researchers advice that it is best not to focus on orgasm too much as it can be self-defeating especially for males. It’s best to think about sex as an erotic activity with pleasurable after effects and bonding. Plus improved health, with some great side benefits!.
I found this quote and I love it!!!
I know me personally and a few of my good female friends have had many conversations about sex and having an orgasim. And the problems that they have to acheive orgasim with a man. They have no problem when alone.. but with a man is a totally different story. And the men that they have been with and their reactions to not being able to make a woman cum.
I had one man I was in a relationship with tell me that he didn't want to have sex with me becuase he could not make me cum. He felt like less of a man because of it. I understand that feeling to a point. I have been with men that go soft in the middle of the whole thing... and the first thought that comes to my mind is - what am I doing wrong? do I not arouse him? does he not find me sexy? etc. etc. But never have I once been like. Oh well I will not have sex with you again because of it! It makes me want to work harder, to pay better attention to see what he likes and doesn't like, and to ask him what feels good and what doesn't.
There are many different reason why a woman may not be able to orgasim other than she doesn't like you or you aint good in bed. She may not feel all that great, stress, a lot on her mind, insecurity, displeasure with herself or her body, nerves (esp. if its the first time), has pleasured herself and gotten used to doing it herself and there are many other reasons I am not aware of I am sure.
I love it when a man tells me that I am the only girl that he has never made cum. I have to laugh (normally on the inside to not offend him) but then I tell him, majority of those women, were probably faking! Now I am not saying that all of them were... but I can almost guarentee that no man has made every single women he has slept with (if its more than one) orgasim every single time they have had sex. I am not a porn star... and I will not fake an orgasim. To me, that just seems silly... why lie?
One thing a man has to learn to realize... for most women. Sex isn't always about the orgasm... Its about the connection with the person you are with, the endorphens that are relased thru sex and the adreneline you feel from sex, the love in many cases.