Monday, December 23, 2013


I have been meaning to post for a few weeks now... but honestly I haven't had the energy, motivation or even in a decent mood to get it done...

A couple weeks ago... my boyfriend Brett, asked me to marry him.... and of course I said yes!!!

He is an amazing man. We have had our issues, but God brought us through them all as he will with anything in the future.

He has been awesome these past few days with me or even really weeks. I have stopped taking my antidepressants for some personal reasons... which I will get into in a later blog post... but I have been suffering big time with depressions. Probably the worst I have had it in years... I just dont want to be around anyone. I just want to cry or yell over everything. It takes all that I have too not be like that 24/7.

Yesterday was a pretty good day.... and so far today seems to be also.
I just keep praying and putting it all in God's hands. I know he's got this!!!

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Monday, December 9, 2013

Empty hole

As tears run down my face
I profess my love for You
My hear does flips
Knowing You love me too

With every single struggle I have
Day in and Day out
You are here beside me
I know this without a doubt

When I am on my knees
Pleading out to Your Name
I know You will never forsake me
And because of You I'll never be the same

Lord I love you
Whole heart, mind, body and soul
Only You and Your Love
Can fill this empty hole. 


Monday, December 2, 2013

Devil in a blue dress.

Well since I have last posted... I have struggling with so many things.

I am really starting to think the devil is after me hard.

This has been a very hard month!! I have feel so blessed in so many ways but its been a struggle.

I know it was God that Brett and I are back together.

I know it was God that I now have a part time job.

I know it was God that moved and blessed so many situations in my life.

I feel like because I was so close to God and I was receiving blessings the devil has to come after me.

With in the first couple weeks of getting the job, I got the flu and missed a day of work.  My daughter missed a day of school, so I had to miss work.  From the time that I got the flu, I continued to just feel blah.  Extremely tired, light headed, nauseated.  -

Brett and I have had petty little fights about stuff. We always talk everything out and are fine... but still I hate that we have our little "fights".

Last week as I was going to sleep... I felt this negative demonic presence next to me- next to the bed... I heard it whispering to me... " I see the wall"  I felt paralyzed. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak...nothing! Finally I was able to break free from this. The next morning however I woke up with such a horrible stiff neck that I was in tears from pain!!!  The pain lasted strong for at least 3 or 4 days... My neck still is sore but no where near that.

I have been dealing with my depression hardcore for the last month. Just have felt worthless... like I am a bad mom... like all I do is nag and complain. I have started worrying about finances and if I am going to be able to pay all of my bills. I am exhasuted mentally, physically and spiritually. Every single day has been a struggle.

But I know my God loves me!!! I know He's right here with me. And the struggles lead to strength... strength in my faith... strength in my love... strength in my mind.

My God is an awesome God and even tho I may struggle from time to time...I know HE has a great plan for all of this!!!  I know that the closer I get to the Lord... the more the devil will have to work to get me back... except... IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!! I may fail, mess up and sin... but my heart belongs to my Lord. PERIOD!!!

Love and Blessings
Overthinking Mama