Friday, December 31, 2010

Realization Friday

I’ve come to realize:

~That internet email can suck and things can get deleted with out me even knowing it (like all my realizations that were sent in L )

~ That some people are just idiots 90% of the time

~ That God is really awesome!!!

~ That there is a such thing as Christmas miracles.

~ That some people just suck and don’t think that what they do or don’t do will effect anyone besides themselves

~ That its harder to trust people that I don’t know than I thought.

~ I can’t base the above statement towards everyone because it was only one person whom is making it hard for me to trust strangers.

~ My dog is crazy, stubborn, and determined. If he has to climb a 6ft chain link fence (at 65lb pounds) he will do it to get out of our back yard.

~ God is frigging awesome!!!  I know I said that before.. but its so true.

~ That I miss going down and visitng my sister. We always had great times together with or without the kids J

~ Its really hard NOT to pick at the dry skin around my fingers…but I must stop!

~ That all my blog followers are wonderful!!!



Hope everyone has a wonderful New Years Eve (and safe) and a Blessed 2011!!!


God Bless
Overthinking Mama 

Thursday, December 30, 2010

depression and new years. they both suck

Depression.

Maybe from my previous post thru out the past year or two you have come to know that I fight with depression.   

It’s been pretty good the last few months… Haven’t been too depressed. Ill have a day here or there where I feel down… but that’s about it and it’s normally because I haven’t got enough sleep from the night before.

Well this week, I am feeling depressed. And it’s strong. I don’t know if it’s because I am tired or if I am tired because of the depression… but I feel exhausted.   
One thing that I hate about being depressed is that I rarely know why.  I’m not depressed because I am alone/single. I am not depressed because it’s the holidays and I have recently or ever lost a loved one.
I mean when I am depressed I end up disliking where I am in life. That I haven’t’ accomplished more, that I am still not married, that I am still struggling with bills, kids, life.  That I am not as secure financially, mentally, spiritually, physically as I see other people. But I don’t think that’s the reason I am depressed, because the day before I was content with what I have… I think it just kinda adds fuel to the fire. L
I don’t really know what triggers it. One day I can be completely fine and then the next, I wake up and I just don’t want to face no one. I want to stay in bed.  There has even been days – like yesterday- where I am fine all day then *boom* , I am depressed.

This week I am blaming it on New Years. I really dislike New Years.  I am not completely sure why… it’s started when I was younger… I say it’s because I really haven’t ever had a GREAT new years… I mean I’ve had good ones… but nothing ever consistent…ill have ONE good year… then a bunch of sucky.  It really stinks… 

This week my BF had to go home too because he started back to work yesterday. So I think that is also apart of my depression. And my house is tore up still from Christmas!! UGH! I HATE a tore up house. 

I am actually feeling a little bit better as I write this and also I went to the bathroom and as I was in there, I felt the Lord.  It was like he gave me a hug and said He’s here for me. Everything will be ok.  I love that!! J

God Bless
Overthinking Mama

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

And the winner is...

all the names in a hat

baby girl picking one... 

she got it

and the winner


Congrats April from The Beholder of Beauty

It will go out in the mail this week!! 

Congrats!! 



Wordless Wednesdays-2

Lil Man's drawings:




Tuesday, December 28, 2010

New Years Eve sucks

 Well its NEW YEARS week.  The very last week of 2010. I am going to try and focus on New Years past, present, and future.  

Today we will talk about my past New Years Eves.

If you have read previous posts, you will have learned that I hate New Years Eve. I always get really depressed and I’m not completely sure why. Ive been like this since I was at least 12 years old. L 

I was thinking last week- that I haven’t spent New Years Eve with a significant other in 5year!!  That’s crazy! 

(2005)The last good new years that I can remember was with my duaghter’s father. It was our first New Years. I went all out (seems that became a trend for me because he sure as hell never did).  I got us a hotel room because I was living at home and well he was living with his wife (I know I was horrible for that).  I went and bought a radio to have music, a crap ton of candles to set the mood, alcohol for drinks and even new fancy glasses to drink out of. I also went a got roses and put rose pedals all over the bed and the floor and of course got us some dinner. It was perfect. 

(2006)Funny thing… we dated for a year and a half after that. (he divorce his wife shortly after we started dating) and had one more New Year’s Eve together… which we spent separately because he got into a pissy mood and refused to go with me to my Dad’s. I refused to just stay at home. So we each sat at our different houses, text arguing back and forth all. Night. Long. It sucked.

(2007) I decided to have a party this year for New Year’s Eve. I invited my daughter’s father because I was still in love with him and he had been talking about us getting back together and whatnot. I invited my BFF and her boyfriend and my other BFF and his girlfriend and also a bunch of other friends. My mom made a bunch of food. I bought some alchol and figure it would be a fun filled night. I was wrong. My one BFF came with his girlfriend and her friend. And my ex came too and spend the entire night flirting with the friend and practically ignoring me.  My friend Pam came and another friends Tina and Tom. At midnight everyone had someone it seemed and the one person I wanted to at least hug me… again completely ignored me.  As everyone was leaving I asked him to stay the night. I really didn’t want to be alone. At.All. I was so depressed. He said NO and left.  I ended up going to my mom’s  and staying the night there since my kids were there. I couldn’t be alone.

(2008) I spent New Years Eve with my kids and my daughter’s sister’s mom and family and friends.  It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed myself that year. After her party we went home and me and Lil man shot off fireworks! Then came in had some snacks and watched a movie.  All in all a pretty good new year.

(2009) This year was… well. A mix.  My daughter’s father (yea him again) for the previous 2 months had been begging me to be with him again. He screwed up and would do whatever it too to make it all right. I told him fine. We had to go to counseling. He said ok… I gave him the name and number to call. He didn’t. He then said he was confused and scared.  I told him I would give him till New Years Eve. He never called. I wasn’t worth it to him.  I spent New years’s eve first out to dinner with my mom and family and then went to a party with my dad. It was fun. But I couldn’t shake the “im not good enough. I am not worth its” feeling that I had. 

This year. I am hoping and am pretty sure will be a great one. My bf will be here. I will have both my kiddo’s. Still not really sure what we are going to do yet.  My dad invited us to that party that we went to last year (if they go). So there’s that option. I might just have us stay at home and watch movies and act like its just another day…  I dunno. I guess we shall see… 


God Bless
Overthinking Mama 

Monday, December 27, 2010

Edward learned a new trick...


And I want to kill him!! ggrrr.. he's making it so hard for me to let him outside. He's constantly trying to find a way out of the yard... before he was climbing under the fence... we fixed that- Now he just climbs over. We went out a bought a 6ft high piece of fence to put up and yea... Ive already caught him trying to climb that one. I'm going insane!!!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!


God Bless
Overthinking Mama

Friday, December 24, 2010

CHRISTmas EVE

I hope everyone gets to spend a wonderful day with their familys today and tomorrow. 


Please take a moment to thank the Lord for all the blessing in your life and remember the reason for the season... the birth of Jesus Christ




Happy Birthday Jesus! 


Merry Christmas!! 


From the whole Overthinking Clan :-) 




ps... also email me over the weekend your realizations from the holidays for the post Next friday! :-) 



Thursday, December 23, 2010

holiday stress

Today will be the last day I post till probably Monday… maybe pictures if I can get my app on my phone to work for that. ggrrr… I am going to try and schedule a post for the realization Friday so that will go up tomorrow… but who knows if I will actually get to that… but here’s hoping right?!

The kids are getting more and more anxious for Christmas… where me and my BF are getting less and less sleep. Not so much because of so much to do, but more of so much on my mind. His is from his Mom. She passed away 7 years ago. I know he still misses her very much. So the holiday are really hard on him at time. My sleeplessness is just from me- OVER THINKING!! Lol.  Thinking about timing mainly…  The next few days are gonna be insane.

Christmas Eve:  wake up to make dinner for the family (my Dad/Step Mom side of the family)  They will show up around 130ish. We will open gifts, eat, enjoy each other’s company etc.  Gotta leave by 5 to make it to Christmas Eve service at church.  After that- its tradition- go to Red Lobster for dinner with my mom, step dad and bro, then back to their house to open ONE gift (which normally ends up being 2 or 3) then home to open OUR gifts to each other… then hopefully enjoy the gifts a bit before bed time… if we are lucky will be before midnight.

Christmas day- wake up at the butt crack of dawn and open stockings/santa gifts. My bf’s daughter is going with her by around 9ish. We will then get “ready” after that and then head back to my moms… where we will open MORE gifts and have dinner. All this needs to be accomplished by 130, because that is when my son’s father will be there to pick him up.  Then the rest of the day, is pretty much free. I am not sure if my daughters father will be picking her up or coming over or what the deal is.  

The next two days are very stressful for me… I like to know a schedule. I like to plan… and the plans never seem to work out right because of all the other people involved in the plans.  But hopefully it will all go good.
I am debating on talking with the BF and thinking maybe about having OUR Christmas tonite. So that way on Christmas eve- that’s one less thing that needs to be done and maybe we can just come home and relax together after the definitely stressful day…  I know its not Christmas and all… but I dunno…

So those are the things going thru my brain when I wake up at 3am and can’t go back to sleep till 530 and have to be up and at work at 830.

God Bless
Overthinking Mama

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Wordless Wednesdays-1

My mornings!
baby girl and Edward

me, baby girl, lil man

me and lil man's head

baby girl making Edward post

me and baby girl

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

a daughters poem

Come and go
As you please
But im begging
On my knees
Stay here with me
By my side
And be here for me
To confide
I need you here
To be my father
And make me not
Feel like a bother
I love you daddy
Whole heart & soul
Please be the man
To fill that role

I wrote this today on behalf of my daughter- to her father.


God Bless
Overthinking Mama

desperation..

Ugh.. I am depressed today… didn’t sleep well.. I guess I just have way too much on my mind lately…

A few of the big things:
~ My Traveling Notebook…
~ Christmas – how everything is going to come together- it’s my boyfriends and my first Christmas together… so I am nervous about the whole thing…
~ My son.

And that’s what I am post on today. My son. My heart. My eight year old lil man.

I know I have said this before… but right now, I feel like a failure at being a mom. I am heart broken. I cry in my room after the kids are in bed almost every night.  
My son is very head strong and stubborn. He is also very spoiled. I can sit here and blame his grandparents, his dad, or whomever… but honestly when it comes down to it. I am his mom. I am in charge of him. I am the main person that should receive the blame.

I know when I was going thru the divorce with his father, I gave in a lot. Why? I felt guilty and it was easier to just say- OK you can have this or that, than it was to fight him.  
It got rough for a bit when my daughter’s father and I moved in together, but again I was still going along with the guilt thing and the easier way out. Her father and I didn’t have the greatest relationship and at that time my mom and I were having our own issues and I felt bad because my son was stuck right in the middle of it all.  
It was about when my daughter’s father and I split up that I really started noticing everything. The saying no. The hissy fits. The pouting. The crying.  I was the only at home. I was the one who had to be the bad guy.  And I was…  but nothing helped.  
And it has progressively gotten worse since then. We have a good moments- please don’t think he is horrible all the time.  
I am at the point where I don’t know what to do. I need help, but I don’t even know where to go for help.   But I can not handle the talking back, the attitude, the arguing, and the yelling at adults from my child anymore.  He is only 8! What the hell is he going to be like at 13? 15? 17?  I have tried grounding. Taking toys away. Spanking. Time outs. Soap in mouth. Jumping jacks (for excessive energy/hyperness). I’ve tried talking nicely to him. I’ve yelled. I’ve tried focusing on the good things he does. Having a mommy and son day. Nothing seems to make a difference. Nothing changes his behavior.  It only continues to get worse.  The thoughts of maybe he’s ADD have gone thru my mind, I guess mainly because I don’t know what else to do.  I just don’t know. 
I’ve been told that I am just too hard on him. I expect too much from an 8 year old.  But really?? Is it too much to ask for him to sit thru dinner without banging his hands on the table??  Or for him to use a fork thru the whole meal?  Is it too much to ask that if I ask him to put on his coat or shoes, that I shouldn’t have to repeat myself 5x??  Or if I tell him to lose an attitude that I have to argue with him for 10 minutes?  Or I ask him anything… and it’s a NO, an argument, some reason why he doesn’t have to do it etc.  
I am told that the punishments that I give him are too extreme for the behavior… but this is happening day after day after day. Hello!!! If it were the first time…that one thing. Or even the 2nd time… but how many times to I have to tell him to do something. the same something… for him to just do it without me having to tell him and then punish him because he can’t do it!?  
And then there’s people that tell me that I am not hard enough on him. I have heard this for years…  That my son needs to be spanked more, slapped in the mouth, beat with a belt or a spoon or who knows what else.  That’s a hard one for me. I don’t believe in physical punishment all that much. To a point yes, when it is deemed necessary. But not as the normal punishment.  I do spank when needed. When I get to that point when nothing else works…  

I just feel so alone somedays. I just don’t know what to do and feel like I am failing my son and I don’t know how to change that.  He is a wonderful kid. I have been praying for him. God has answered one of my prayers, to help him with school. Up till this year, he has hated school. I had to fight with him every single day to get him to go to school. Now he loves it. He loves his teacher. He loves his classmate. He even loves riding the bus.  He’s getting good grades. It’s been a complete turn around there… I just keep praying that he will straighten up at home too.
Otm and Lil Man (Easter 2009)


God Bless
Overthinking Mama

Friday, December 17, 2010

Realization Friday

Wahoo its realization Friday!! And I actually got a few realization from other people this week!! Yay!!

I’ve come to realize:

~        I need to feel needed.

~        If I have a headache… I shut down. I can not function

~        I suck at the whole parenting thing

~        I am not as cheerful as I would like to be

~        I miss having a cat around

~        the grass aint always greener on the other side of the fence… sometimes those weeks look just as green as the grass until you step into them.

~        that true friends are really hard to find.. and even tho you may be a true friend to someone.. it doesn’t mean they will be a true friend back.

~        having a headache seriously such monkey butt


Make sure you send me your realizations for next weeks post: overthinkingmama@gmail.com


God Bless
Overthinking Mama

Thursday, December 16, 2010

they is so cool...


nani and baby girl..

its only Thursday

I started writing a post on Tuesday, but we were having so many stupid server/computer problems, I had to restart my computer and some how this post got erased… and the original was so good too. Ugh. 

That has just been my week.

I mean over all I can’t really complain. But it just seems like stupid little things that happen that just kinda make me stop and think… WTH!

This morning already…  I had to argue with my son- mind you is 8- that tomorrow is his last day of school till after New Years.  He kept telling me NO! he still has 3 days next week.  We went back and forth for about 5 minutes before I finally just said forget it. I am not arguing anymore.  
Than of course we were running late and I didn’t think I would make it down to his bus stop in time…  as we were backing up he seen the girl that rides the bus with him standing at the corner and he says “boom- see the bus aint here yet” oohh.. that irritated me. He has such a smart @$$ mouth on him.  I really wanted to turn around and smack him in the face.  Instead, I told him when he gets home tonite- he’s in his room.  

Yesterday.  Yesterday was just great.  I mean for most of the day it was alright… just long and slow.  Then I think I irritated two people. My sis and my son’s father.  I chose not to deal with them completely… I just didn’t have it in me.  

I mean over all this week hasn’t been bad… its just been stupid little things to irriate me.. and honestly they were that little that I don’t even remember what they were about…

OH one big thing that has been irritating me… MY BLOG. I have an app on my phone to do blog post directly from my phone…  Yea. Since Saturday… all but one post DID NOT POST!!  Ugh. So annoying. 

Any who… tomorrow’s Friday!!! YAY!!!

Make sure you email me your realizations for tomorrow’s post!!  Overthikingmama@gmail.com

ps...also make sure you check out my contest in the previous post!! 

God Bless
Overthinking Mama 

Monday, December 13, 2010

Contest!!!

Its Give-A-Way time!!! J

I reached 125 followers on my blog!! Yay!!!  So I decided to do a giveaway!

Just in time for the holidays… well I am actually going to have the contest run till the 26th.. I will be picking a winner on the 27th  So it will be just in time for the much needed relaxation, after the holidays.  

I am giving a way:
1- silver eye sleep mask
1- rubber ducky
1- journal
1- picture calendar

And maybe a few extra’s  J

How to enter:

~ Leave me a comment and tell me what you like about my blog (I know I’m fishing for compliments lol)-ps. Must follow my blog via Google Friend Connect.

For additional entries/additional comments:
1 comments per thing listed below:
~ follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/overthinknmama
~ suggest me to a friend on facebook
~ suggest a friend to follow my blog
          (its an honor system for the 2 above items… I trust you) J
~ post on twitter about my blog/this contest
~ post on your blog about this contest
~ post on facebook about this contest.
          (with the above 3 entries- include the link to your post in the comment on my blog)
~ email anyone about my blog. (cc me in the email: overthinkingmama@gmail.com )

As you can see, I am really trying to get my blog out there for everyone to see J  If you have any other suggestions, please let me know (1 entry) J

I will pick at random an winner on Dec. 27th. I will use my trusty time old procedure to do it… I will write everyone’s name on a separate piece of paper… and put them into a hat… and have one of my kids pick it out J  Im so on top of this technology thing!! :-p 

Good Luck!


God Bless
Overthinking Mama 

Friday, December 10, 2010

Realization Friday

I’ve come to realize:

~ I hate computers sometimes… at least when there is an issue with it and I can’t fix it.

~ that my memory doesn’t remember things like I wish it could (like this list that I typed up this morning but it got deleted when my computer froze up and I had to restart it. ggrr.

~ there are some people in life… you just don’t need to see or deal with on a regular basis

~ and that sometimes it takes just seeing them for a few minutes to remind you that you really don’t care to see them very often

~ that the sun will come out tomorrow… somewhere.

~ that I should never leave a room with food on my kitchen counter.. because my dog will get up there and eat it.

~ being a mom to a boy is hard!

~ being a mom period is hard.

~ that I have the greatest family in the world..

~ that I am so thankful to God for letting me meet my boyfriend..  I have been shown how a man should treat a woman..

~ God is good

~ that these aint what I had wrote the first time around… but are still good.

~ that I miss doing the realizations every Friday- I just wish that more people would snd me their realizations J


God Bless
Overthinking  Mama

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

id prefer a book.

Well I have a slight brain fart today…  I thought of doing this blog post today, on my lunch, as I walked out of the library. 2 hours later, I finally remembered what I was going to write about.

The library!! Duh!

I had to go to the library today to drop of a book I had borrowed (and was slightly over due) and I also had a book on hold that I needed to pick up.  
Going today made me realize how much I really love the library.  I love the smells of the paper and the books. I love the aura of the library, peaceful, calm, knowledgefull (if there is such a feeling).  I just really love it. I love holding a book and running my fingers over the dry, worn pages.  
I had considered asking for a Kindle or something similar for Christmas. I wanted to be on top of the latest technology and what not…  but really, no. I don’t want that. I would miss having my book. I would miss the smells and the feel of a book.  Holding an electronic object just isn’t the same as a book. It doesn’t give me that same comfort or relaxation as a book does.   
So maybe I am old fashioned… but I think I will stick with my real books J

Plus… a book doesn’t need a wifi signal nor a battery J


God Bless
Overthinking Mama

Ps. I am planning a give a way in the next few days/weeks… I haven’t decided if I should wait till after Christmas to do it or make it before… opinions? 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Bobbi's story- my view

These last couple of months have been different. Not at all what we were expecting the end of this year to be like… but then I guess that is life… 
I have posted on here and twitter about my step-mom being in the hospital… here is my version of the story- the point of view from the step-daughter who is loved as if she was a daughter… but not always given ALL of the info from the rest of the family J

          September 10 my dad and step-mom Bobbi called me to tell me that they had just found out that Bobbi had Lung Cancer.  They didn’t know much more than that and she was going to be going the following week for more testing. I said ok… not really thinking too much about it, figuring that she will be ok. She will get thru it. She’s strong.
          She went and had the tests… It wasn’t good. Honestly thinking back… I can’t remember too many details… it was either stage 2 or 3… but I can’t remember. I guess because I assumed. She. Would. Be. Okay.  The doctors wanted her to start radiation treatment on Oct. 7.  I remember her calling and joking with me that she had to go in and get tattoo’d  so the radiation machines would line up correct on her body… and that she was going to ask if they could do a design with the tattoo instead of just a dot.  I told her well maybe when it was all said and done, she could go and get a tattoo to cover up the dots… in my head I was thinking maybe all us girls (she has 2 daughters) and her could get matching cancer ribbon tattoos or something.   She called me when she got home from the tattooing procedure and said that she had no idea how the hell I could get any tattoos on my body… it hurt like hell!!!   I laughed J
          Oct. 7th came and Bobbi went in for the radiation. All went good. She felt great. So they scheduled her for the following day for another treatment. Again.. everything went alright… she only felt ok this time…  Later in the evening Bobbi started having a hard time breathing. She and my dad went up to the ER to be checked out.  She started coughing up blood… and then her lung collapsed.  They had to put her on a ventilator. They put her into a drug induced coma. And we waited to see what was going to happen next.   I got off work early on that Thursday- Oct 7th.  Dropped my daughter off with my sis and headed up to the hospital to see Bobbi. I was nervous. I had to go alone. There was no one up there as they had all been up there ALL DAY and were exhausted. Looking back though, I guess its good I went alone. No one needed to comfort me. No one needed to feel worse because I was crying.  Just me. and the nurse.  I walked into Bobbi’s room not really knowing what to expect…  and there she was “asleep” with tubes coming out of her mouth, her arm, and practically every part of her. Fluids were draining, air was going in, machines were beeping and whirling and whizzing…. These machines were keeping her alive… what a concept. The Machines Were Keeping Her Alive.  I started crying.  This wasn’t what I was expected. This was so much worse than seeing it on TV. Actually seeing someone I love in a coma with machines keeping her alive…  it’s hard and you don’t know what it’s really like… till you are there. 
          Oct. 9 she got transferred from the local hospital she was at to the Cleveland Clinic.  They scheduled her for surgery on the 11th to remove the blockage in her lungs that was causing the lung to collapse… apparently the radiation aggravated a tumor and made it expand and causing it to block an airway.   On the 11th the family, myself included, headed to the CC and sat there on pins and needles waiting. Waiting. Waiting.  They said she had a 50/50 chance. But the doctor that was doing this procedure was taught by the doctors that developed it. So there was a good sign.  More waiting… and than finally… she was done. It was a success. And she was alive.  Though the results were not exactly what the doctor was hoping for. The lung did not re-inflate properly, so they believed that there was an infection of sorts somewhere…
          For the next few weeks, not much happened. At least not to the point that I was told.  They weaned her off of some of her meds so she would wake up for brief moments and would recognized people but couldn’t talk due to the ventilator still being in.  Finally on the 26/27 they took her off all sedatives and most pain killers and she “woke” up.   She still couldn’t talk. She still had the ventilator in.  She was able to communicate some, though it was hard to always figure out what she wanted.  On the 29th we had a family meeting with the doctors about the future.  The biggest thing was that the pulmonary doc wanted to put a trach in. (cut a hole in her throat and put the vent tubes in thru there). The entire family was against it because she hadn’t been awake long enough yet and hadn’t been given a chance to see if she could breathe on her own.  The doc said that more than likely she wasn’t going to for a while. They gave her a chance (when she was half sedated) and she couldn’t do it. But they would give her a shot to do it over the weekend but they were scheduling the trach for Monday.  (this was Friday).  We kept telling her to breathe deep. Take deep breaths… Deep breaths… I could tell she was so annoyed by this…         
          On Saturday, the very next day, she was breathing on her own and had the tubes removed!!!   I don’t know if it was because she was annoyed that we kept telling her to breathe deep, if she wanted to talk, or if she just wanted to prove the doc’s all wrong… but she did it!!! 
          She stayed up in Cleveland Clinic for a few more weeks and was then finally moved to a nursing home closer to home on Nov. 5th.   Bobbi was telling us how when they put her into the ambulance the driver was asking the other ENT where they were going… The ENT didn’t know. Bobbi spoke up that they were going to *** Nursing Home in *** Ohio… They said ok.. We will take you there. Then the driver asked the ENT if he knew how to get there…  Bobbi gave directions. J 
          On Nov. 6th she was sent to the ER than admitted into MICU at the hospital because of a UTI.  She stayed at this hospital in a step down care unit till Nov. 20th where she was moved to another hospital that has a physical therapy/rehabilitation unit.  She is still there. 
          We were hoping for her to be able to come home on Dec. 3. but because of an infection in her leg that probably won’t be possible… we are shooting for the 10th. J
leg lifts!! :-) getting stronger! 



My sis Katie and Bobbi


Bobbi w/one of many hat :-) 


Bobbi and my dad


baby girls bday celebration at the hospital w/ Nani and Papi

God Bless
Overthinking Mama

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

thanksgiving


I m thankful for love...


my weekend





had a great weekend... had a wonderful thanksgiving. and got to send time with family. my bf came into town even tho he had the flu.. we celebrated baby girls bday Friday with my Mon, bro, and stepdad..Saturday I made s thanksgiving dinner for the kids, myself the bf. and Sunday was baby girls bday! so we went to chuck e cheese... then up to the hospital. to see nani and Papi. it was a great weekend.. tho Monday morning it was my turn with the flu, so I've been home the last couple days trying to get better... I m already :-)


my weekend





had a great weekend... had a wonderful thanksgiving. and got to send time with family. my bf came into town even tho he had the flu.. we celebrated baby girls bday Friday with my Mon, bro, and stepdad..Saturday I made s thanksgiving dinner for the kids, myself the bf. and Sunday was baby girls bday! so we went to chuck e cheese... then up to the hospital. to see nani and Papi. it was a great weekend.. tho Monday morning it was my turn with the flu, so I've been home the last couple days trying to get better... I m already :-)


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

almost thanksgiving

After today, I have a 4 day weekend. I am so looking forward to that. Like you have no.idea.  I am so in need of a break. 
Tonights plans are to go to the laundry matt… my son was sick the other day. In.my.bed. and threw up all over my mattress topper thingy.. and of course its way too big to fit into my washing machine. So I need to go and get it in a BIG washer and dryer and try and get it cleaned…  It says to just spot clean.. but who the hell wants to spot clean something that big and with that much puke. But I figured while I am at the laundry-matt ill start writing my paper that is due on Monday.  Yay.
Tomorrow the plans are to get my bro for a bit, go up to the hospital and see my step-mom  and then head to my moms for dinner.  I am still not sure what time my son is supposed to go with his dad.. waiting to hear back from him on that. ugh.  And I highly doubt my daughter’s father will even bother to try to attempt to see her for the holiday… maybe her bday on Sunday… but I am not holding my breath.
Sometime in the evening my BF and his daughter are planning on coming up, so I am looking forward to that.  And I am planning on having a T-day dinner either on Friday or Saturday. Not really sure which.  Celebrating my daughters bday with my mom and family on Friday night.. The rest of the weekend I really have no plans… maybe just watch movies and play board games with the kids… Then Sunday we are celebrating my daughter’s bday… not really sure exactly where or how… but she’s turning 4 so I am sure it will be fun.!


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

God Bless
Overthinking Mama

Monday, November 22, 2010

Step-Kids

I am not married and do not have any actual step kids of my own. But I do have a few girls that I consider like my own. Of course my BF's daughter Brianna (8) and then there's my daughter’s father and I were together for 1 1/2years. He has 3 other daughter’s beside ours and two of them I feel in my heart a strong connection to. Brianna (10) and Arianna (7). Brianna lives in another state with her grandmother and family there and Arianna now lives in another state but used to live here in Ohio with me.  When Arianna was here, her father and I while together would get her every other weekend. She was like a daughter to me and even after her father and I split, I would still go and get her on the weekends to make sure that her and my daughter had a good relationship.  I have also tried to stay in contact with Brianna over the years for this same reason and even when down to see her a few months back so she could meet my daughter (now 3).  To me, when you have a step child especially if you have your own children, that stepchild should be treated just like your own. Not like its someone else child you are having to take care of, and definitely NOT like this is the child that you spouse or significant other had with ANOTHER woman, because truth be told, it’s not this childs fault that it is in the situation that it is in.
One thing that I really dislike is when the “stepchild” is left out of family functions. Ok I know sometimes it can’t be helped… but sometimes you can arrange things differently so that the child can be included.
A few years ago my ex- m-i-l met me at the mall because she wanted my son to get his pic taken with Santa. I was going out there anyway, so it was all good. She had my son’s brother and his stepsister with him…  we got up and she set all 3 kids up there with Santa and then after that was done, she wanted a pic with just her two grandson’s and Santa and made the little girl stand off to the side. I felt sorry for the little girl.  It was like she was just pushed aside because she wasn’t blood. My ex m-i-l said- well I want a picture of my Grandson’s incase my son and her mom split up.  Really??  There’s that wonderful positive feeling that I missed. *NOT*  I mean ok.. I get it.. She ain't blood and one day she may not be part of the family anymore… but what if she always is apart of the family? What if you want to remember that wonderful moment with her there?  Should she just been pushed aside?   I don’t know… maybe I just look at things differently… 
Like next weekend, I am planning on getting “family” pictures taken.  My boyfriend and his daughter will be here. I want them in the pictures with me. I planned on having all of us in one… then me and my kids, him and his daughter and then me and him in the pics and maybe one of all the kids.   
I just feel like, if you have a step child, they should be included as if they were your own.  Not to be pushed aside. If I was going to get family pics and my BF and I had a child… I would not get a pic with just me, him and our child esp. if his child was there… or I would not get a pic of just me, him, and MY children and not his.   I just don’t think its right.  But I guess maybe that is just me… 
I mean I did take my ex’s daughter every other weekend after we split and he had nothing to do with her.  And I did make sure that my ex’s other daughter and mother and sister met my daughter this past summer, even though he’s made NO effort to do anything like that… 
Maybe I am just different?

God Bless
Overthinking Mama

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Convo with the BF

Texting Convo with my BF:

Him: How’d you sleep last night?

Me: Like S***

Him: How come  you’ve been sleeping so bad?

Me: Idk. Lol. maybe cuz of stress?

Him: You should try some Unisom or something?

Me: Im scared too… I am afraid that that I will fall asleep so hard I wont hear if there is something wrong and then I wont wake up in the morning.

Him: Well that’s understandable.

Me: Plus I don’t have 6-10 hours to devote to sleep and I always have some heavy equipment to operate.

Him: Oh ok. Lol. J I didn’t you were using those heavy machine by your bed.

Me: Oh, I don’t. Normally on the front lawn. I don’t wanna wake the kids.

Him: oh. Ok.


Yea.. that’s how our convo’s go. Lol.



God Bless
Overthinking Mama