Thursday, February 23, 2017

overthinking

My mind is in so many different places lately... its hard to stay focused on one thing.  

Yesterday in the car my husband was having a conversation with me... and I have no clue what was said or that he was even talking... I was so lost in my thoughts. 

Half the time anymore I don't even have the radio on in the car because I am so lost in my thoughts I don't even realize that it's not on. 

What am I thinking about?? Oh ya know... everything! lol. That's what I do. Over think. (if I didn't I wouldn't have a blog  lol) 

I have been seeing a therapist for about a month now... and he has really got me overthinking a lot of things...especially where I want to go from this point forward in my life. 

I have always had a million and one dreams that I would love to do. I think I want to incorporate the majority of them into one dream... being a wellness coach.  I can do and teach yoga, meditation, get into essential oils, counsel and just be there for someone to vent to, help them make healthier life choices and just over all be there for them. 

I know its going to be a long process... and there are going to many different classes that I will need to take, but I think in the end it will be worth it.  I just have to focus and stick to this. 

Say a prayer for me. 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

Monday, February 20, 2017

Weekend.

Part of me is glad the weekend is over. There were a lot of sad/negative moments in the weekend. But then there were a lot of great moments, and I am trying to focus on those.

Friday I took the day off and was able to get the house cleaned, laundry finished, and take a nap.
Friday night, we were able to get a sitter for all the kids and PeyPey went to his dads. So hubby and I went out to eat at Olive Garden. We had wine, soup, pasta, bread. It was yummy. We came home snuggle and spent some great quality time together- just us. That hasn't happened in a while.

Saturday morning, I was able to open the window and door and enjoy the warm off season Ohio air. I was able to got to breakfast with my mom and big girls and then come home and just relax. I also was able to strip the bed and get all of that laundered.  The afternoon, we went for a bike ride to the park and let the kids play. The night, my bff and her sweetie and his kids and neices and nephews came over to hang out and Renbug had her bff over to spend the night.

Sunday morning we went to the church I work at for service and a luncheon afterwards. It was nice to have fellowship with everyone there. I don't get to do that often. On the way home, we stopped at a park and let the kids play. We came home and the babies passed out in the van on the way. I went and took a nap myself and slept for 3hrs! I must have needed it.  Later in the evening, we went to my moms for dinner and hung out there for awhile and then came home... and eventually went to bed.

I got to sleep in today since the kids were off school and yet I am still tired.

Hoping to be able to go see a new doc in few weeks who will help me with the "always tired feeling"

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama


Wednesday, February 15, 2017

a whole lotta nothing

I have tried to start writing this post, I don't know how many times...  and even now I fully don't know what to type.

I want to blog about my new mindset on my future... that I am thinking about becoming a wellness coach.

I want to blog about how I have been going and seeing a therapist and how it has helped me so much in such a short period of time... and how this one is so much better than the last one I went to!

I want to blog about how I am not sure what's going on with my job...and what the future holds for me there.

I want to blog about how wonderful my kids are.

I want to blog about how I broke down in tears on Valentine's day because I couldn't call my dad and say hi.

I want to blog about how my week has been....


Yet, when I start to type any of that... or even think about typing anything... it comes up blaaaaahhhh. lol

So here I am writing a post about nothing and pretty much wasting your few minutes of life reading this.

Tomorrow will be better.

Blessing N Love
Overthinking Mama

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Crap. crap. and more crap.

It has lasted forever it seems!! 

I feel like I haven't feel 100% in forever. 

It started at Christmas. Both the babies got the stomach flu that was going around. Both were up and down all night throwing up. I got the other end of it. On the toilet most of the night and the next morning.  It has been off and on since then. Along with nausea and stomach cramps. It was the worst last Thursday and I finally broke down and got an appt with my doc. She ran some tests and nothing. She wants another test. So we shall see. Now this week... I have a freaking cold or something! Coughing like crazy. Sore throat that feels like there is a huge lump in it when ever I swallow. Every inch of me down to my toes aches. Also, I am freezing. I am sitting here in my winter coat and I am freezing. 

I seriously can't win!! 

Yesterday, I went to my gyno and she found a couple lumps in my breast so I have to go have a mamaogram on monday and she also thinks I have a bladder stone. Lovely huh!? 

So I have just been working and doing what I have to at home and trying to rest..but with 5 kids that is easier said than done. 
I know I will get through it and be better. Just have to tough it out for awhile. 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 


Sunday, January 22, 2017

Skating Saturday

My mom and I took the girls skating. 

My mom takes the big girls for skating lessons every Saturday. This time we decided to take the babies for open skate afterwards.  

Mady loved it!!! She went out with out help and started dancing along with the music. She loved it. 

Lily wanted to be out there to. But she wasn't feeling the greatest and was ready for a nap so she easily got frustrated with falling and not being that great on her feet. lol

Madybear fixing her car. 








Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 





Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Different mindset on marriage

1/11/17
2016 was a rough year… but truthfully in the midst of all the negativity and struggles, there were a ton of blessings. And even though I feel like 2016 was a horrible year… truthfully- it was a blessed year and that is what I truthfully need to focus on.
The thing that is on my mind today is marriage. My marriage. Its been 2 ½ years so far… and boy was it a rough rollercoaster of a ride.  There were times that I worked my butt off trying to make everything work and then there were times that I seriously just wanted to give up and walk away. One thing I have learned here in the last few weeks- this marriage isn’t about me… it isn’t about my husband. It is about God.  My marriage is a reflection of God’s relationship with us. I am sure that there are many times that if God were human, he would just want to walk away from me and all of my flaw… but thank goodness, he is not human.  I need to reflect that kind of love and patience that the Lord has given to me, in my marriage. I need to show support and nurturing to my husband even when I don’t want to and even when I feel like he don’t deserve it.
I could sit here and list a million things that he does on a daily basis that I take as a personal assult on me, myself. But truthfully, its not. Its my hubby being human. Its him being exhausted, him being tired, him being hurried to be able to spend time with me and our family, its him just wanting to sit down and relax after a hard day at work.  Do I feel like the burden of the house and kids are on my shoulders? Yes. But I am sure he does too or has an equally heavy burden on his.
We all have good days and bad. And thankfully most of my bad days are matched by good days my husband is having. He equals me out. He is the yin to my yang so to speak. 
So the next time I just want to give up and walk away… I need to remember God’s love, patience and grace that he has extended to me- and extend it to my husband and be a reflection of my Lord for the world or at least my kids to see.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama 

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Our Christmas

I hate to say it, but I am thankful that this Christmas is over and that this year is almost over. 

This has been one hell of a year. I am trying to think of all the great things that have happened, but sometimes its hard. 

This Christmas was exceptionally hard for me, more than people know. I tried to put on a good front for the kids, but deep down inside I am broken. 

This is the first Christmas with out my dad being here. The first Christmas that he, my brother, and my step-grandma didn't come over for dinner and to open gifts together. Dealing with being heartbroken and everything else that was going on was almost too much. 

One week before Christmas, my car completely broke down. Wouldn't start. When we tried to jump it- the jumper cables caught on fire. Had to have it towed home then towed to the dealership to have it looked at- alternator is bad, battery is bad, serpantine belt is bad. Over $1000 worth of work.  God did bless us though. My mom bought me the battery as a Christmas gift. My husbands uncle offered to buy the alternator and serpantine belt for us and we can just pay him back when we have the money. He also put both of those on for me. 

So between the stress of that and trying to figure out how each of us was to get to work for a week, figuring out how to get money for repairs, and trying to figure out how we were going to buy Christmas gifts for our kids... and the fact that I was already depressed thinking about my dad. I didn't enjoy this Christmas as much as I have in the past. 

I know my father was there with us in spirit. I know he is watching down and smiling as all my kids opened their gifts and laughed at Madybear as she wanted to open everyones gifts. 

I know in years it will get easier. Still Sucks though. 

I hope everyone had a wonderful and blessed Christmas!! 

Blessing N Love
Overthinking Mama