Thursday, November 27, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is a day where everyone (is supposed to) stop and think about all of the things in life that they are thankful for.

God has blessed me in so many ways this past year. If you would have asked me this time last year if I would be where I am now... I would have told ya no way!!!

I am thankful for wonderful friends who are always there for me. Uplift me, help me, cheer me up when I am down. God seriously blessed me with many!!!  A special thanks for my 3 besties. Without them I don't know how I would have gotten through so many ups and downs in my life. Thank you and I love you - Leisa, Carlita, Mark.

I am thankful for wonderful parents and step-parents. My stepdad has helped me in so many ways and has always been there for me. My stepmom even tho it has been 3 years since her passing, she always had great advice for me, was always there when I needed her, she is greatly missed.
My mom and dad have always loved me. They have always stood by me even when I made stupid choices. They have helped me out in so many ways and have helped make me into the woman that I am today.  Thank you Mom and Ken and Dad and Bobbi. I love you.

I am thankful for my wonderful children. Even tho most days I want to pull my hair out, I couldn't imagine my life with out them. They are my heart and with out them I would be nothing.  I love you PeyPey, Renbug, SamiPooh, and Madybear.

I am thankful for great in laws... past and present. My ex-mother in law and I haven't always seen eye to eye but its been in the more recent years we have grown a mutual respect for each other and a special friendship.  For my new mother and father in law, they have been there for us when we have needed help. They have stopped what they were doing to be there for us. My grandma in law has always been there to support my husband and I, helps whenever possible and just loves us unconditionally. My step-step grandma has always accepted me and my children and my husband with open arms. She has always loved us.  Thank you and I love you all- Pat, Angie, Donny, Ione and Barb.

And to my husband. I am so thankful that God brought him into my life. We have had our ups and downs but I know that he is the man that God intended me to marry, to have 2 beautiful babies with and build a family and a life together with.  I love you forever and always Brett!!!

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours!!!

Blessings N  Love
Overthinking Mama

Sunday, November 23, 2014

who woulda thunk

If you would have told me a year ago... that today I would be married, have a "new" daughter that we are getting custody of, have a 3 month old daughter and a baby on the way... I would have never beleive it. NEVER!! 
It is crazy all the things that can change in a years time. 

I still am in shock over it all. 

So the next time that you are feeling down. Feeling like nothing will ever change. That you will always be stuck where you are. Remember, God has got this. He knows what He is doing. And who knows where you will be in a years time!!!

This has been my past year/year and half...

March 2013- Dating an A-hole
            Met Big B
April 2013- Started dating Big B

May 2013-   Got let go from my job of 9+ years

June 2013-  Big B and I take a "break"

July, August, September 2013- Live life. Get closer to God. Look for a job. (unsucessfully)

September/October 2013- Big B and I start working on our relationship again.

December 2013- Big B ask me to marry him
               Find out that I am pregnant

April 2014- Find out that we are having a little girl.

May 2014- Rearrange the bedrooms, paint bedrooms.

June 2014- Sami-Pooh come to live with us.

August 2014- Have baby M.

September 2014- Get married.

November 2014- Find out I am expecting again...

Don't ever forget... God is in control. He's got this and He knows what he is doing!

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Saturday, November 22, 2014

first timester

Good Morning world.
Notice there is no "!" at the end of that. lol. It is what it is. It is a good morning. I made it to my moms and then to work safe and sound. My husband made it to work safe and sound. The roads are straight ice. I couldn't even hardly park in my moms drive way because it is at a slight slant and my truck kept sliding back down the drive! lol.  but God watched over us and we made it safe and sound.
I am happy for all of that. But I am in a mood. In a not really crabby but not really happy type mood. Ugh. I was alright when I woke up... but then just one little thing irritated me, and boom there went my mood.
This is the one thing I hate most about pregnancy. The mood I get in. I feel like I am always in a bad mood. I don't want to be bothered with anything. I just want to sit and zone out. I wish I could just sleep the next 10 weeks away. 
I am nauseated all the time. I got meds from the doc yesterday, I am hoping they will work. They didn't last night, but I am hoping that maybe it's one of those things that it takes a few days to kick in?! lol.
Today is the first day in weeks, that I have acutally done something to my hair other than pull it back or stick it up with a million bobby-pins.  I actually put make up on other than just mascara. Its not that I really wanted to, but we are having people over this afternoon for a birthday party and I want to look nice for that. Not like I am half dead.
I feel bad because I know I am crabby all the time. I don't want to be, I just am so easily irritated.  One of those wonderful things that they "forget" to tell you when someone explains pregnancy.  I bet if someone had a class and told all the gory details of pregnancy and childbirth, girls would think twice. lol.
Don't get me wrong. I am so happy and so thankful that I am having another beautiful bundle of joy. I just hate this part. But in a few weeks I will be past this part and I will be going through a different stage of pregnancy. lol. Always something. :-)
Today is baby girl's birthday party. (Guess I am going to have to call her something different here soon... she's no longer a baby and no longer the baby in our family. hhhmm- Ren-bug. I will have to do a post updating on all my "nicknames" for the kiddos. lol)  I feel bad because her best friend was supposed to come up and we were going to have a joint birthday party for her, but with the weather being as horrible as it is, there is no way it is going to happen. I just hope everyone will still come for her birthday. I get off work at 2 and the party is at 3. Talk about rush! rush! rush! But, I know everyone will be late anyway... so its all good.  And I know Sami-pooh is a bit disappointed too cuz Ren-bugs best friend is Sami-pooh's sister. She was looking forward to seeing her, but hopefully we will be able to figure something out when the weather gets a bit better so they can see each other. :-)
Alright, enough complaining for now.

Stay warm and have a blessed day!

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Monday, November 17, 2014

9 weeks and counting...

Well... we found out a couple weeks ago. We are expecting again.  I am about 9 weeks prego!

We are definetely hoping for a boy this time.  I am hoping for this morning sickness which just never seems to go away at any point during the day, goes away asap! lol

I am going to have my hands full here next June.  I am still in shock. And I am very scared. Having 2 little ones under a year old at the same time!!! Oye!!!

But I know God has a plan for it all and it will all work out one way or another!!!

Things at home have been caotic.  I haven't been feeling well and honestly not in the greatest mood most of the time. I am exhausted so the house is a complete disaster. We had a family friend pass away and I am in charge of cleaning her house out so that has been taking up time. I am behind on laundry and dishes. We seriously have ran out of dishes!!! lol  I am just hoping we dont run out of laundry!! haha. 

I have tomorrow off so here's hoping that I feel good, have energy, and can get everything done!!! *fingers crossed*

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Baby M's Birth Story

Last day being prego

The day baby M was born started out just as any other day normally would.  I had an early morning appointment with job and family services. I felt over dressed but actually felt good that day, so I wanted to look cute. After the appointment, I called my dad up and said that since it was the last day that I was going to be with out a baby and a carrier and all that, that we should go to lunch. I was sceduled to be induced the next day).  
So I go and pick up my dad andw we (my girls included) go up to have lunch a little diner up the road from us.  We ordered our food and then it happened... I felt wetness in my seat. I thought that I must have just accidentally peed myself since I was so prego! lol. So I excuse myself and go to the bathroom.  I go to the bathroom and it just gushed out water. My pants were completely soaked.  So I grabbed a bunch of paper towels and toilet paper and stuff my pants and walk out to tell my dad that we needed to leave... my water just broke!!  
I called Big B at work and let him know. My dad was freaking out as I drove him back to his house... worrying that Big B wasnt going to make it home in time. I assured him that he would probably be home before me... and don't ya know... he was!!!  
Big B was freaking out. I walked in the house and packed a bag for the girls since they were going to go and stay a few days with my mom, I got my bag and pillow all together, and I got a snack bag together for Brett because I knew he would probably get hungry. I called my mom, the doc, and Big B's family and then we all headed up to the hospital.  

waiting to deliver

Big B and his bff

My water broke around 1230 and we made it to the hospital probably around 130ish.  They started me on pitocin around 430 to help speed me along. Abount 545 I asked for some nubane for the pain because I didn't want to have an epidural... but by the time the nurse came in with it, I was already pushing and baby M was born at 6:01pm 
It was absolutely amazing!!!!  And Big B did so great. Better than I thought he was going to. :-) 
Baby M was 7lbs 7oz  and 18.5 inches long. 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Wednesday, October 8, 2014


Well I have been married now for almost 3 weeks... Everyone keeps asking me: So do you feel different now that you are married?. The honest answer is really no.  The MR. and I were already living a "married" life. We lived together. Had kids together. Did life together. I don't feel guilty about this now tho.. so I guess that's a difference. I don't have to feel guilty for having a child out of wedlock. I don't have to feel guilty for living in sin with a man I wasn't married to. I don't have to feel guilty for having sex with a man I wasn't married to. All of this has definitely been a weight lifted off of my shoulders. 
This seem to have calmed down now too. I don't feel as stressed about getting everything thing together for the wedding. That on top of being a mom, working, trying to run a household seriously was wearing me down. Don't get me wrong. I still have my moments where I get stressed out, but not like I did a few weeks ago.  I am hoping over the next few months things settle down even more and we fall in to a good routine with working, school, after school things, family, and other things in life.  
Last night was such a wonderful night. We didn't have anywhere to go. Didn't have anything to do. So we were able to just enjoy each other. We snuggled up on the couch after dinner and watched The Voice. It was good. 
I started a new job last week. I am a secretary for a church. The pay isn't much and the drive is far, but it is a job and I am hoping that maybe it will teach me new things, and eventually lead to something better. I still have my other job at the Nursing Home. I work both jobs part time which is nice cuz then I still get to be home with the kids most of the time and if I am not there then the MR. is. We also have his grandma and my mom babysitting baby M during the days while I am at the church job. So she is always with family.

Hopefully I will be able to start posting more... "fingers crossed"

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Monday, September 15, 2014

the count down...

It is the final week as a "single" woman.

I am getting married on Saturday.

and truth be told... I am a little scared!!

Not so much of the wedding or any of that- tho yea, I am worried that things will go wrong but thats part of life. lol

I am scared of the unknown. Scared that things will change once we say I Do.  Scared that temptation will get the better of us and cheating will happen.  

I don't want to get married, just to end up in divorce again. I've been there. Its not good.

I am worried that I won't be good enough as a wife.

I have this fear that "karma" will come back and bite me in the butt since I cheated on my first husband... that I divorced him... that I didn't try with him.  That because I hurt him so badly, that I will end up being hurt too.

B is an amazing man.  I now he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, yet. yet, I still am sitting here worried.  I guess I worry because of my past.  Because of my insecurities.

I have to put it all in God's hands.  I have to give all my worry and concern over to Him. He is the one in control. He is the one who will be by me no matter what.  I need to believe that no matter what happens, He will be with me, and will work everything out for His good.

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Busy. Busy. Busy... oh and did I say busy???

It has been a insanely busy few months!!!

Between normal life, being pregnant, doc appointments for me/baby, the baby shower, figuring things out for the wedding, and work... we also added getting custody of my fiance's little cousin.  So add in court appointments, home study, backround checks, making sure she's up to date on doc visits and dentists, therapists coming to our house to make sure she's adjusting to everything alright... its been crazy... but honestly I wouldn't change any of it for the world!! 

Now we are getting ready  for baby M to come... the wedding... and back to school!!! Yay!!!

My due date is the 15th of August.  They have me scheduled for an induction on the 14th... so I guess we are just playing it by ear till then.  I have been having contractions but nothing consistant. Tho last Sunday I went to the hospital because I just really didn't feel well and was having very bad lower belly pains... it seriously felt almost like there was a knife cutting me from the inside. But I was pretty much told that its normal and only if they are unbearable, my water breaks, or my contractions are very consistant to come back... otherwise... I'll be fine. :-( So its all in God's hands.

I have one more day of work till I am off for maternity leave. I am looking forward to being able to be home more, but we really need the $$. I am trying to get parties set up for Damsel in Defense, but its pretty hard, plus lately I haven't really had the energy to market myself and the company like I should but I think once the baby comes, God willing, I will have more energy and motivation, and wont have this huge belly getting in my way all the time.

We have about a month and a half till our wedding... and I have yet to get the invites mailed out. I am thinking about doing a Facebook event for at least the people on facebook so they will know and I can get an idea for how many people will be coming.  It just hurts to even write out address on envelopes. My hands are swollen and sore... I just finished up doing the thank you's for the baby shower!! lol

I think we pretty much have everything thing done and taken care of for the arrival of baby M. I am planning on breast feeding... not sure for exactly how long... but I want to give it a shot at least. I didn't with the other two, which I don't regret, but I wanted to try with this one especially since I am not working full time.

Well I need to get up and get moving. Need to finish cleaning up the house... and hopefully the back yard too.

It has felt so good to get on here and actually write something. I really need to do this more often. Its very relaxing for me.  I also want to say thank you for all of my readers!!

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

Monday, June 30, 2014


I know many times that I have said how crazy life is right now.... well I think so far this summer takes the cake!!!  And other than one thing... I wouldn't change anything else for all the money in the world!!!

We are in the process of getting custody of my Fiance's cousin. She is 5 and the sweetest little girl!! She has been staying with us since the beginning of June. She fits in like she's always been here.  I really couldn't imagine her not being here.
We were trying to get her siblings too. She has an older sister and a younger brother, but sadly financially and also logistically we weren't able to...  6 kids in a 3 bedroom, 1000 sqft home (4 girls in one bedroom), was just a little bit too tight.  Plus there were some other things that were determined for the benefit for all the kids so we only were able to get here.

In the past month that she has been here, we have had multiple dentist appointments, doctor visits, social workers, counselor, voice for children advocate come by and visit, visitation up at children services with her mom and siblings... its been busy to say the least. But again, I wouldn't change it at all.

The pregnancy so far is going great.  Been having contraction off and on, but thats normal.  I have 7 more weeks to go!!! I have been going to physical therapy for the last 4 weeks because of the intense back pain I was having. It has been a life saver!!

Our baby shower is in a few weeks. I am excited. Two of my wonderful friends are throwing it for us. :-)   I am due August 15.  Our wedding will be Sept 20th.

We have had baseball Monday thru Friday- every single evening! lol.  That has stopped for lil man. Baby girl still has it going on 2x a week for the rest of the month.

Trying to think about what else has been going on... I really don't know.

I started with two different direct sales companies...
Perfectly Posh and Damsel in Defense. I am really really excited about these companies... esp the Damsel in Defense. Check out my sites if you get a chance.


Well thats all for now... I need to get a lot done around here today, including a Rules list, a chore chart and bathing my doggies!!!

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

ps.with the new additions to the family- I will be switching around Nicknames. :-)

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Marriage reminder...

I saw this on a friends facebook this morning.  This is a good reminder. Just simple little things that we can do to help strengthen a marriage or even just a relationship. Amazing how sometimes the first 3 things are forgotten quickly by both parties and we then end up feeling like something is missing or our spouse doesn't love us like they used too...  We need to make it a priority to love on our spouse... not just love them but show them our love physically. (and not just sex!)

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Mother's Day!!

Wishing every one who is a mom to a human or an animal... is a father who has to take on the moms role, or is a mom to be... 

Happy Mother's Day!!!!! 

Blessings N Love 
Overthinking Mama 

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Catch up...

I can't believe its been so long since I last blogged. Ugh. I have had the desire... just no motivation or time. Things have been busy around here or at least my mind has been. lol.

I have been fighting a sinus infection for the last couple months. Sudafed seems to help here and there, but not continuously. :-( So I have been dealing with horrible headaches on and off including a lovely one that I have had for the last 3 days.

We are trying to get everything prepared and set and all that for the wedding. We have decided on Sept 13 for the date. Now we just have to figure out where exactly.  I am getting excited tho. I already have my dress. We are on a very very tight budget... like $1000 or less. :-) I know we can do it tho!!! :-)

I am 19/20 weeks prego right now... and hopefully we get to find out if its a boy or a girl on Wednesday. Everyone is thinking girl... I am really feeling boy. I don't care either way since I have one of each... but I dunno... just have this feeling its a boy. I even dreamed last night that it was a boy. lol.  So I guess we will see.... Now I just have to find a cute way to announce it to the world!! :-)

The pregnancy so far hasn't been too too bad. Other than the sinus infection lately, its not bad. Tiredness mostly. Still dealing with depression, but I guess its not as bad as it could be if I wasn't taking anything for it.
The baby moves around like crazy. I don't think he stops moving ever. lol. It takes my breath away at times and makes my heart pound... literally! lol.

I have started a second part time job as a receptionist at a nursing home. I love it so far. Everyone there is so wonderful.  My other part time job is still going good. The hours are more sporadic than I would like, but I can't complain. She works with my schedule and I am so thankful for that.

I started going back to classes for ministry. I love it. I can't wait to see what and where God leads me!! I really want to get into some sort of counseling. :-)

The kiddo's are doing great!!!  I think they are getting a little stir crazy waiting for the weather to break.... seems like it will never stop snowing!!! GGRRR!!!

I am looking into starting up my own "home party" business. Its something that God has put in my mind for years... and I never really went for it... but I think/hope/pray that this is the year... and it will be a success!! :-)

I think thats pretty much the major parts of life right now. lol.  I feel a little better getting caught up here some and finally posting.  I'd say I'll do better... but I can't promise anything.

I will def post soon what the gender is!! :-)

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Saturday, January 18, 2014


I have been wanting to to wait to do this post till I had see the doc... but as that seems to be a mission to do so... I have decided to go ahead and announce to the blogging world that I am Pregnant. 

I am about 10 or so weeks. My due date is 8/15/14

I took the home pregnancy test on 12/06/13. 

I had a feeling for a few weeks before that, that something was up... so I had weaned myself off of my cymbalta and adderall. It was hard and there was a lot of days I just felt absolutely miserable but I wanted to make sure that I didn't cause any complication "if" I was pregnant... and what do ya know... I was. :-) 

After I found out, I went shopping and made up a cute little "gift" to give my fiance to tell him the news!!!  His reaction wasnt exactly what I thought it was going to be... but he was scared and nervous that maybe the test was wrong. Once I got the blood test done and we knew for certain that there was a baby... He was extremely happy!! 

It has definitely been a rough few weeks... I have had nausea and extreme tiredness... thankfully I didnt actually throw up.  I have been very depressed and over emotional on everything... it kinda sucks because this should be a extremely happy time for me!  As soon as I get in to see the doc, the first thing I am going to ask is if I can go back on some kind of anti-depressant. I just want to be happy again... and its not that I am not happy... I just want to feel happy. 

The reason I havent been in to see a doc yet is because of insurance/medicaid. 
I am still out of work... and was getting unemployment until the end of December so I was on Family Planning/Medicaid... which provided basic gynocological exams and birth control. So I had to go back and fill out new paper work and prove to them that I was pregnant in order to have the pregnancy covered...  finally got all of that approved right after Christmas tho I didnt get my card till after the first of the year. As soon as I did, I looked up the  doctors and found the doc that I had with baby girl accepted Medicaid. So I called and got an appt and last Wed we went up there... filled out all the paperwork only to find out when I handed it in along with my card, that they do NOT accept medicaid. I left there in tears. :-(  I was so excited to finally get in to see a doc!!!  I was so upset because on the medicaid website it said that they were covered and I was FINALLY getting in to see a doc!!!  I called around to a few other doctors and finally found one that does accept medicaid... and we have an appt for next Thursday. "Fingers crossed" that nothing goes wrong. 

I went to Cornerstone Among Women in order to get a "official" pregnancy test and was offered an Ultrasound. So at 5 weeks I got to see my baby... well really just the heart beating but still... it was breath-taking! We were offered another ultrasound... so we go back there on the 5th of Feb! I am excited!!! 

On Christmas, I ended up getting sick... I had a temp of 100 then in less that an hour it went up to 102.3... Big B ( my fiance) insisted that we go to the hospital because of the temp and the quick rise in temp... he didnt want to risk anything with the baby. He's already been in a situation where an ex was pregnant with his kid and had a miscarriage... so he's extremely worried about that with us... and the fact that I had a miscarriage before I had baby girl.  So we went to the hospital and was told that I had an upper respitory infection and was put on anti-biotics.  I felt like absolute crap for a few days after that... between the "morning sickness"/nausea and the infection in my body... it was a very rough few days. 

After a couple weeks, I felt better, tho I was still coughing up phlegm... and I ended up coughing so much and so hard, I pulling something in my rib area on the right side... that pain lasted about a week... and it was so bad that I was in tears most days and that I couldn't sleep much at night because if I moved around at all, I was in intense pain.  Again, Big B wanted me to go to the hospital or something because both him and my mom was worried that it was my gallbladder. I talked them out of making me go... and in a couple days the pain went away for the most part, though I still have pain when I breathe in deeply.  Something I will be talking to the doc about. 

In the next couple weeks, there will be a lot of decisions that need to be made... since I am no longer getting unemployment, and I have yet to find a full time job (which now may be even more hard since I have a bun in the oven). I am working part time... but its no where near enough to pay even my house payment each month.  Big B helps with the bills as much as he can too, but he has his own bills that he has to worry about.  So I need to figure out if I should try and get a second part time job...  Big B is thinking about applying for other jobs that could pay more and possibly offer more over-time.   The thing we both are worried about is that if we do these things... we will never see each other and I will never see my kids.  And my pastoral classes start up in a month, so I have to take that into consideration too.

So needless to say... its been a rough pregnancy so far. I don't remember being this depressed with either baby girl or lil man.  With baby girl I had the nausea but I don't remember very many other major issues... well at least till the end of the pregnancy with having preterm labor (which was stopped).  It amazing how each pregnancy has been so much different... and it seems that the older I am, the harder each pregnancy is... I wonder if its due to age or just life situations at that time.  Probably a little bit of each. 

I know that God has a plan... even tho things didn't got the way I had planned- I wanted to be married before I had my next kid, but God is good and is here with us. I know we will get through everything, learn from it all, come close to God, and one day be able to use all of our ups and downs to help someone... even if its to only know that they are not alone.

Alright... need to get off here and get baby girl some food... and this bun in the oven is hungry too!!!  

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Saturday, January 4, 2014

depression... still.

I have been struggling so much lately.

I have been dealing with depression hard core.

I have no motivation.

I have no desire for anything... I go through my days just there... waiting and hoping for the next one to be better.

I don't want to be around people... or even hardly talk to anyone.

Most people annoy me.

I just want to curl up in bed and sleep.... and with the opportunity- I do. I just sleep all day.

I know it will get better. I know God has a plan for it all. I know He is here with me and is getting me through this moment.

God is so amazing.  He has gotten me through so many things in life. I know He will help me get through all of this!

He is an amazing God. :-)

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama