Friday, July 30, 2010

Realization Friday

I've come to realize: 

~ That  none of us know what lays ahead and cant control what may come to us, like I belive we cant change the past can't predict the future but we can live in today and enjoy each day to its fullest

~ that time spent with your family, is more precious than any gift.

~ that if I become blind one day, the saying "don't put off till tomorrow," becomes very true.

~ That memories you make today, will far out-live you.

~ that if you haven't grown up by age 50, You don't have to.

~ That life ain't perfect and love ain't a always a fairy tale...and you need to make yourself happy and not look at what you don't have but at what you do have.

~ That I have a pup for each of my breakups --only 2. I'm scared to fall in love again for fear of a broken heart...and no room for another dog...but realizing time is going too fast and I need to put my heart out on the line...

Thank you everyone to sent in your realization for this weeks post!!! If you would like to have your realizations posted next friday... send me them to me in an email to : 

God Bless
Overthinking Mama 

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Story Time Thursday-3

The next day I had a long email from Ramon apologizing for not coming out last night. I replied back to him that there were no worries.. He has responsibilities.. We emailed more through out the day. He asked me about myself... and I am always honest with everyone... I told him I was in the middle of a divorce. I had married my high school sweetheart after dating for 10yrs! We had one child together. I cheated on my husband... and I ended the marriage.  He told me about him. He was on his second marriage. The first wife- his high school sweetheart had cheated on him. They had a child together.  He had 2 other children by two other women.  Two of the kids lived in Florida and the third live right here in our city, but he didn't get to see her because the mom refused to let him have anything to do with her. His wife now he met a few years back... and it was fate that they were together, but she lied and cheated on him so much that he just couldn't trust her or be with her anymore. He got laid off from the Pepsi plant a few months back and hadn't been able to find work since.  All I could think is wow... glad we are only friends...  
Then next day JoAnn called me and said that her and Chris were going out to the new dance club in town called DT or DownTown. She asked if I wanted to go. I said sure I didn't have my daughter so it was all good, I would meet her at Chris's house about 930.  I was excited. I had been in the mood to go out dancing.  
Later that night, I get over to Chris's and see that Ramon is there.  I got little butterflies in my tummy. Why was I so excited for him to be there. Seriously, this man was no good for me!  JoAnn was up in Chris's room getting ready, so I went up there to see if I could help out with anything. She was beautiful. Long dark wavy hair. 5'4". Maybe 105lbs wet. Beautiful figure. Just stunning and tonight was no exception. I asked her why Ramon was there. She said that Chris had invited him because he doesn't drink much and would be able to drive us, plus he had been bugging Chris about seeing me again.  That brought a small smile to my face.  She said she was glad that I was going out with them. She didn't like Ramon's wife and his wife didn't like her. Plus she hated him always being the 3rd wheel. 
Once she was all ready, we headed down to the club.  After we walked in and got our drinks, I saw that Izzy was there. I went over and hugged him and invited him to come over and hang out with us.  Everyone always thought that there was something going on with me and Izzy, but we were just good friends. We had a lot in common and both enjoyed going out and having a good time... He was my drinking buddy.  JoAnn looked at me when I brought Izzy over and whispered in my ear and asked why he was here. Izzy wasn't her favorite person.  I said his friends stood him up and I invited him to hang with us. She said yea right... He probably showed up just cause he knew YOU would be here. I told her she was crazy. 
We decided to do a shot. A blow job, one of my favorite shots.  It was Bailey's and Kahlua in a shot glass... with whipped cream on top... the catch was- you couldn't use your hands.  It was always fun to do and always got the attention of the guys.  We did it. JoAnn dropped hers and the glass shattered everywhere. She laughed and said she couldn't swallow the cream!  Chris just looked at her, then us, and shook his head. Ramon asked me what it tasted like... So I went over and kissed him. Passionately. 

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Modpodge of thoughts

Happy Humpday! 

Only 2 more days till the weekend! lol. I am counting down.. Not that I really have anything spectacular planned... but this week has just been dragging for some reason. 

I have a few things going on... 

I am starting to take names for my Traveling Notebook... So if you are interested send me an email to I need to get a blog set up for that... So that's on my two do list. I can have up to 160 people.  More details to come. 

I am planning on going up to the college tonite and talk to an advisor about what classes I need to take and also about financial aid and what not... Hope it all goes good! 

I am going to be going on vacation in a few weeks... so I need some guest bloggers... If you are interested, send me an email! 

I am also thinking about posting some give-aways... So if you have a product you would like to advertise and do a give a way on my blog... let me know!!!  I might be very interested in doing that... 

I am still needing more people for my Tell All Tuesday!  Send me an email if you are interested.... Its a lot of fun... I have about 40 different questions to choose from...  there is a minimum of 10 questions that I would like you to answer...  I hope you will! 

Also.. I need realizations for Friday! 

My bf sent me another poem today!! :-) 

I was sorta hoping you would come along,
like the answer to a prayer,
and the music to a song.
Like the kind of thing that happens, 
at a special place and time, 
that will change our lives forever,
like a fantasy of mine.
The fantasy was there before, 
I ever knew your name, 
and now that I have found you,
we will never be the same.
So, pardon, if I look at you,
Forgive me if I stare,
At the fantasy I knew before, 
I saw you standing there
For I always hoping 
that you would come along,
like an answer to a prayer and the music to a song. 

God Bless 

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Tell All Tuesday

Welcome to the very first Tell All Tuesday!!!  If you would like to participate, please send me an email:  
Thank you Megan for participating!! I really appreicated it and I really enjoyed reading your answers!! 
Make sure you check out Megan's blog.  And leave her a bunch of comments on here and her blog too!!! 

Happy Tuesday!! 
God Bless!! 

Name/Nickname/AKA: Megan
Blog Address (if have one):
Age (approx) - 30
Occupation: I was laid off, so now I am a full time student.

Pick at least 10 questions to answer. You can have more, but you must at least have 10.  Answer with much thought and detail- remember, we are getting to you know (its a tell all!) 

·         What is one of your happiest memories?
When my kids were born. I never new that I could love anyone like that. I knew I loved my babies before they were born, but the minute they got here, it was completely different...

·         What’s one of the most meaningful gifts you’ve received?
When I was 18, my great grandmother took an old ring she had and split up the diamonds, creating a necklace for each of her great granddaughters. It's a unique design. She passed away a few days after my first child was born... her first great great grandchild. I never take the necklace off because it reminds me of her.

·         What’s one of the most loving things someone has done for you?
For me, it's the little things. I think the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done was to give me a hooded LSU sweatshirt. This was given to me by Mr Glasses because he knew I didn't have any sweaters or jackets and he knows how much I love LSU.

·         What’s one of the most loving things you’ve ever done for someone?
Bringing munchies and other things to people in the hospital, like soft drinks, toothbrush & toothpaste, lotion, etc. Things the hospital won't exactly give you but they aren't opposed to you having.

·         What music, poetry, art, books, or movies have most inspired you and why?
My friend is a composer of modern classical music and the meaning behind the majority of his work is so incredible. He and I have been friends for over 10 years and every time I hear a piece that he has written, I am truly moved by it. It's not traditional, completely unpredictable and what some would consider to be "difficult to listen to" but I know him and I know the feeling behind it so it inspires me. It reminds me that despite our struggles, we can all be in a better place and do absolutely magnificent things.


·         If you had only 6 months left to live, what would you want to be sure to experience?
You know, if you had asked me this 3 years ago, I would have said true love. The kind movies are made from, the kind people want to talk about and hope for and dream of... I've had that. It's a wonderful thing. I have my children and they are fabulous. I have people around me who love me and an awesome family. I've been places and I've done things that most people don't do. I don't think there is really anything else left to experience, except life itself.

·         What’s one of the nicest things you’ve ever done for yourself?
I knew that I was on the verge of a meltdown - too much stress in my life. I decided that I was going to take a vacation by myself. I informed everyone about 3 weeks in advance, hopped on a plane and went to Arizona. 
Keep in mind that I do not eat by myself, I don't go strange places alone and I seem to get lost a lot. 
I did it all by myself. It was the first time I ever rented a car, traveled alone (I've flown alone but always met up with people at my destination), gone exploring, went to a tourist information center, the whole thing. I didn't make hotel reservations and I did a "fly by the seat of my pants" trip. It was the best 4 days I'd had by myself. 

·         What's the best compliment anyone has ever paid you?
When I started back in school about a year ago, several people told me that I inspired them to go back to school. Some took a single class, others have looked into it and done nothing because they aren't in a position to do so. One person, however, told me that I have inspired her to go back for the 5th or 6th time but to FINISH her degree this time. She and I are both single moms of 2 kids with non-traditional custody arrangements, and she's taking a class right now. Not only that, she's considering living off of loans her last year like I am doing now. That's a HUGE compliment! To know that I have inspired people to go back to school is wonderful enough in itself but to know that I've inspired someone to do it in basically the same way as me and that she's EXCITED about it is just phenomenal. I get all kinds of warm fuzzies about it.

·         What do you value most in yourself?
Aside from my intellect, I value my logic and compassion for others. I try to see things from other people's perspectives and to see why they feel or act the way they do. I try to reason either with them or internally to discover what it is that makes people tick. I don't want to sound like I'm tooting my own horn and am arrogant about it but I think it makes me easy to get along with, and I really like that about myself. 


~What were you doing 10 years ago? 
I was living in a hick town in Louisiana with no job, recovering from gall bladder surgery, taking care of an infant and about to celebrate my first anniversary with my ex husband.

~Where do you want to be in 10 years? 
Ideally, I'd like to own a home, have my PhD and be starting my clinical practice in Psychology... helping people full time :)

~Where were you on 9/11/01? 
I was working at the LSU Law Center and I had gotten to work just before 8am Central time. My boss comes in about 10-15 minutes late and practically runs into his office and throws down his briefcase and runs to the recording room. I thought maybe he was just rushing because he was late. He drags the TV out and plugs it in and says that a plane hit the world trade center. We get to the tv channel and they are trying to explain what happened... and then the 2nd plane hits. There was no work done that day. Campus was really eerie the whole week.

~Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Yes. Many times.

Were you driving, someone else driving, or parked? All of the above! haha. I'm the MASTER at changing clothes in the car - and I can do it without showing any undies!

~When you looked in the mirror today what did you think?
Hmmm... Maybe I am "THAT" pretty...

~What has been your favorite age so far?
I'm 30 now, so... 30!! I'm still learning things about myself, relationships, my kids, my loved ones and life. I would never want to go back and have to "unlearn" those things. 

~Do you wash your hands every single time you use the restroom?
Yes, absolutely. I even do it for a minimum of 30 seconds each time. 

~If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?
I firmly believe that you should tell people how you feel at all times. I'll never have to say that I regret not telling someone that I loved them, that they mean something to me, that I like them, that I think they are wonderful, that they are pretty, that I'm proud of them - none of that. I tell people all of the time how I feel along those lines. My kids know that I am proud of them, that they are wonderful, that they have good qualities and that I'm proud of them. I don't believe in holding those things back. You never know when you'll be able to say things to other people again, or when you'll have an opportunity to tell someone that you care. You have to do it right then, every time. 
I will say, though, that if someone else were to die, I would be sad to have never known how they felt about me. To have never heard it. 

~If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
The body. I wouldn't want to be intellectually stagnant! My grandparents are in their 80s and both of them are as sharp as ever. I hope that I will be like that when I'm their age. If our family history repeats itself, I will. We all seem to live to be really old.

~Would you accept twenty years of extraordinary happiness and fulfillment if it meant you had to die at the end of the period? 
No. Extraordinary happiness and fulfillment is not something that you can bargain for. You have to learn how to accept it in your own life, through struggles and issues. You have to love yourself. No amount of time of it just being given to you is worth the journey.

~If the person you were engaged to marry had an accident and became a paraplegic, would you go through with the marriage or back out of it?
Yes, but I would want to wait... only, not for me. I would still want to marry them. Going through something like that could really have an effect on someone mentally, emotionally - and obviously physically. I would want to make sure that they are still the same person I love after the accident. People change - I've seen it happen before. One incident can change the way a person views the entire world. Does that mean I would abandon that person? No way!! I would work and try and make sure that they were OK. However, if after some time the person I was engaged to became someone else - that the person I loved no longer existed - I would probably leave. It wouldn't be about them being bound to a wheelchair for the rest of their life, though. Their physical quality of life would have changed dramatically but if he and I no longer get along, then BOTH of our emotional and mental quality of life would also be reduced.

~Would you be willing to go to a slaughterhouse and kill a cow? 
Willing? uhm... I guess... Would I be ABLE to do it? Not without seriously vomiting and having nightmares about it.

~Would you be willing to decrease your life expectancy by 5 years if you could become extremely attractive?
OMG - does this mean my life expectancy is already reduced?! 
My answer is no. You should love yourself for your faults just as much as you do for your good qualities. This includes your attractiveness level.

~If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly tell you what they really think of you, would you want them to?
Absolutely. I'd do it for them! If it's a good thing - great. If it's a bad thing, then those are things that I need to work on to improve myself. Or, at least, I could determine if those were things that I felt needed improvement ;)

~Would you be willing to give up all television for the next 5 years if it would induce someone to provide for 1,000 starving children in Indonesia?
Sure! I don't watch much TV anyway. I'd rather provide for starving kids in the USA though. We have so many problems at home.

Monday, July 26, 2010

My hunny sent this to me...

The sun rises above the hillcrest,

As does the joy of my heart;

Rays of warmth and love,

From her I will never depart.

Fresh dew upon the grass,

Young birds chirp in their nests;

I watch her gently sleep,

My love to her I silently profess.

I enjoy the stillness and calm,

Watching as she smiles and dreams;

She brings me to stillness and peace,

Like that of a slow flowing stream.

My heart and soul flow with love,

And I smile as I quietly reflect;

I?ve been handed a sweet princess,

A sweet princess to love and to protect.

A vow to myself I make,

As she quietly sleeps away;

To love and always cherish her,

Until my last breath... until my last day


Bored and unmotivated

It's Monday... and I really don't have Anything off hand to blog about... man I suck. Lol I was just going to post a bunch of different pics... but I can't quite figure out how from my phone... so I just did one... hope everyone had a great weekend... and don't miss my tell all Tuesday tomorrow!!!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Realization Friday

Ive come to realize:

~that I am scared to death of being in love... and getting hurt

~ that i have more energy and motivation to clean my house first thing in the morning... on days I have to go to work

So yea.. thats it.. MY realizations for this week! :-)  

Please send me YOUR realization for the post next Friday!!

Funny of the day: (need to make you smile) 

My daughter and I had a cute convo this morning.. 

Her: Mom I want to see my daddy

Me: Well your daddy is working

Her: I want to take him some cookies

Me: Well I'll jump right on that...  (being sarcastic)

Her: Mommy NO!! don't jump on my daddy's cookies!! 

Gotta love her! 

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Story Time Thursday-2

The next day I checked my email off and on all morning. Nothing from Ramon. My heart sank a little bit, but I really wasn't completely sure why. I didn't want to be anything more than friends. I was going thru a nasty divorce and the last thing I needed was drama from another man in my life.  
Finally at lunch time, I decided to just suck it up and email him. We were just friends right? So it really didn't matter who emailed who first.  I decided I would play it cool and just forward a joke email to him and see what happened from there.  Bout 10 minutes after I sent it I got a reply.  He apologized for not email me earlier. His wife found my email address and threw it away, plus he'd been looking for jobs all morning, but had been hoping I would email him first.  Wait! what? a wife!! what the hell? Drama.  Well we were just friends right?  So I replied back and asked him about his wife. He told me that he wanted a divorce and so did she. But right now neither could afford it. She was constantly lying to him and was cheating on him. They didn't sleep in the same bed together. Actually he slept down on the couch. The only reason why he was even staying with her was because he didn't have a job right now and couldn't afford his own place and she couldn't afford child care so he stayed and watched her kids during the day while she worked.   OK.. I guess that seemed legit... but all the more reason we would only be friends.  That was one thing I didn't want to get involved in.  We emailed back and forth a little bit more and I told him me and my good friend Izzy were going  out to sing karaoke at this lil bar in the next city. I told him, if he wanted he could meet us up there. He said sure and asked for my phone number.  I gave it to him and got his too.  We texted off and on the rest of the night. 
Izzy and I went up to the bar to sing. It was always a lot of fun. It was a weekly thing that me and him did.  We both had our songs that we always sang... Picture by kid rock and Sheryl Crowe- we always sang that one together. I always sang Traveling Soldier by Dixie Chics because I knew that one by heart. I wasn't really good but I loved to sing. Izzy on the other hand, well he was good.  About 1145pm came around and I got a text from Ramon.  He apologized and said he couldn't make it up there tonight.  His wife Christy's kid had a high temp. and he had to take them up to the ER. He was really sorry and really wished he could have came... I was a little disappointed. 

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Alright. I am making some changes with my blog! :-) 

I am starting something new for my blog (and I really hope its successful) called Tell All Tuesdays. Every Tuesday I will feature a different person in my world, whether is the blogger world, the twitter world, facebook world or the real life world!  I have a bunch of questions I have gathered (thank you @myloveablelablesfor your help) to be answered. There are about 41 questions to be answered, but you only have to answer 10. You can answer more if you would like.. but at least 10 are needed for the post!  
Send me an email if you are interested is doing this with me!!! :-) I am planning on starting this Next Tuesday! :-) 

Story time tuesdays will now be Story Time Thursdays. :-) Thank you for your understand on that! 

My week has been pretty good... Yesterday I woke up kinda depressed and just in a sour mood..  The day ended pretty good as my kids and my bf were able to put me into a much better mood.  I went and took my placement test for the college. Thank you for all the well wishes!! I think I did alright on the English part of it.. but I know I did horrible on the math. The whole thing took me about 2hrs to do!! I was exhausted by the time I was done!! I have to go back sometime this week to talk with a counselor about the results and find out about classed and also need to talk to the financial aid people too.  So I am excited for that.. tho I am really nervous about college overall, but I know it will be all good. 

I am trying to really think positive and start doing things differently in my life! 
Yesterday was really hard to think postitive with me being in a sour mood most of the day...  but I did try. Today has been better.. I am thinking positive about things and life.. I made sure I got up on time this morning... and had time to sit down and have a cup of coffee and read the bible and pray before work!! I am really happy about that. I wish I could have done that before the kids got up... but I will take what I can get.  It will be a challange but I know with the help of My Life Coach A New Breed Mom I can do this!! :-) 

Ps. Dont forget to send me your realizations for my Realization Friday post!! email me to the address above!! thanks! 

God Bless

Monday, July 19, 2010

I got an award!!! :-)

I recieved this award from Ally at Veritable Ally. Thank you sweetie for the award and the kind works on your post!  

OK.. so I have to tell you guys 10 things about me... hhhmm...  Well I will do recent things.

~  I haven't been to church in about 4 months. I just don't have the motivation to go. I hate it and I don't really know why. 

~  I have started a Life Transforming Project with the inspirational Life Coach Lindsay over at A New Breed of Mom.

~ I am trying to think positive every single day... but its so hard. Especially when I deal with idiots. 

~ My moods are based on the people around me... If everyones in a great mood... I feed off of it... If everyones in a sour mood... sadly I feed off that too.

~ I want a happy, committed, Christian based marriage. 

~ I want at least one more baby, after I am married.

~ I am horrible at putting the clean, folded clothes away.. they sit on my dryer for at least a week before I finally put them away.

~ My bedroom right now is a disaster... I just have no energy to clean it by the time I get home from work... clean the rest of the house... make dinner... spend time with the kids...

~ When it comes to my kids.... I can be a lil over the top.

~ 99% of the time... I am freezing.

~ I am going back to school this fall.. Just going to take basic classes... but I am going.

OK.. Now on too the people that I think deserve an award!! Def. check out their blogs and follow!! 

A New Bread of Mom  

Just a Normal Chic

Musing of a Confused Woman

Dating After 40

Itsy Bitsy Brianna

Another Suburban Mom

Are You Serious

The Evil Twins Wife

Just a Normal Chic

Being Peachy

Not Your Average Teen


Thinking some More

These are the blogs I visit and comment on the most... If I forgot anyone.. I am sorry... Leave me a comment below with your link so everyone can visit your blog too!! 

Sunday, July 18, 2010


"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than failures, than successes, than what others think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.  The remarked thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We can not change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it."

- Charles Swindoll

Friday, July 16, 2010

Realization Friday


~ that I love having kids around me

~ I love hot weather- as long as I can have the A/C on

~ You will never change someone. Its only them that can make a change for themselves

~ That I want to enjoy my grandkids not argue with them or their parents

~ That ignorance can really be bliss

~ That its really hard to constantly think positive, esp. when negative things happen

~ That the weather always seems to cool down as soon as we pull out the big blowup slide/pool thingy

~ That there are certain people in my life that love drama... and will continue to cause it just to be apart of it, no matter how much they "say" they hate it

~ That its easy to judge someone until you are in their shoes

~ That most people in my life, won't ever fully get me or my choices or my thoughts

~ That to some people, I will never be good enough, smart enough, funny enough, skinny/fat enough... But to ME, I am enough as I am. 

Please submit your realization for next Friday's post to :

God Bless

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A few projects...

I have a few projects that I am planning on starting up in the next couple days/weeks. 

The first one is a Traveling Notebook. I had this idea for awhile now. It started back when I was in High School. I ended up going to a different high school than all of my friends. So we started having a notebook that would be passed around to everyone at the other high school than given to me to reply to everyone... We did this all of my freshman year. After that we lost track of each other some and finally all got back together over a year ago for a dinner. While we are all friends on facebook, me and one of the girls had talked about starting the notebook idea up again and calling it the sisterhood of the traveling notebook... but with one of our friends living in Germany, no one really wanted to participate... so the idea was dropped. Off and on for the last year I had thought of the idea of doing this traveling notebook but instead of just us friends... I would be with strangers.. all over the country or even the world... but that's about as far as it went... Just an idea. 
Then I came across this website: The Notebook Journey   So I emailed Lauren regarding this and she suggested we do a Notebook together... So that is in the works. I don't have all the details as of yet. But I am planning on going out and purchasing a Notebook this weekend!! Yay!!  If you would like in on this let me know.. Either leave me a comment below. Email me: or send me a msg on twitter.

The Second project I am starting is Transforming my Life Project. Which I am working on with Lindsay from A New Breed of Mom. She is doing this in her life right now. I commented on her blog and we started chatting from there... She is aspiring to become a Life Coach, so she offered to help me along my journey. Honestly I am not really sure what to expect, but I am going to be talking with her tonight and we will go from there. 

So with those two things.. my blog life should be pretty busy along with my day to day life! 

I am excited and I can't wait to see the outcomes on both of these projects!!! 

Also - Don't for get about Realization Friday tomorrow! Email me your realizations at or dm on twitter!!! Hopefully I will get enough to do a post tomorrow!! 

God Bless!! 

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Story time Tuesday- 1

I have decided in maybe trying something new...  
I have been working on a bit of a story of my life...somethings have been changed in it... names have been changed in it... all in all.. its not really the story of my life... but the story inspired by my life...  I am going to try and every Tuesday post more and more of this story... until its all complete... its part of my own personal therapy too... So I hope this all works out!!  Enjoy! 

It was an October evening.. well more like night....  
My good friend at the time, JoAnn and I went up the Back Alley, a little hole in the wall bar close to where I worked, for a couple drinks after a hard day at work.  I remember this day so plainly, just like it was yesterday.  A few of my other friends were up there too. John and his roommate. I had only known John for a short time... but we were cool.. and we also were sleeping together...but we were just friends.  
JoAnn and I were sitting on the side of the bar. She got a call from her boyfriend Chris. She said that he was on his way up to the bar with his friend Ramon. Chris cleaned office buildings in the evenings. Normally his friend Josh went with him to help him out for a few extra bucks but not tonite. Josh had a date and canceled on Chris, so Ramon offered to go with him and help him out.  
About 15 minutes later. Chris and Ramon walked in... I still remember seeing him... standing their so tall and so thin... He was wearing a orange and black stripped polo. His orange and black jacket. His hands in his pockets. Hair in dreads.And that smile... that smile gave me butterflies.  
They came in and sat down on the other corner of the bar and ordered their drinks. Chris got 99 bananas and orange juice. Ramon got a Red Stripe.  JoAnn introduced all of us.  Ramon hadn't stopped smiling or looking at me since they walked in.  I tried not to pay too much attention. I just sat there and sipped my cherry vodka and 7-up.  
Then night went on. It was a lot of fun. We laughed, we talked, and we drank...  JoAnn and Chris were playing pool. John and his friend had left. So it was just me and Ramon sitting there at the bar. So I scooted over to the chair next to him so we can talk some.  We talked about a few different things... but one that stood out in my head was porn. I had told him about my coworkers sending me some really nasty nasty emails. I suggested I could send them to him. So we exchanged email addresses. We talked and joked some more till it was time for JoAnn to start to head home, since I was her driver, I had to leave too.  
We all walked out together. I got said goodnight to Chris and Ramon and got into my car. JoAnn kissed Chris good night and then got in too...  On our way down the highway to our house, JoAnn's phone rang. It was Chris. He just wanted to tell us to be safe driving home and  for her to call him when we got home. Then Ramon got on the phone and said he wanted to talk to me.  I took the phone, said hello, and then gasped... I looked in the sky and just seen a shooting star.  I made a wish. The same wish I had been making on stars since I was young. To be happy. Simple.  I told Ramon what had happened since he heard me gasp. He asked me what I wished for and I told him I couldn't say because it wouldn't come true. He said fine... and for me to be safe and he looked forward to the emails I was going to send him. 

Monday, July 12, 2010

Lil man...

What he's learned this summer...

Friday, July 9, 2010

Reminiscing- blogging style.

I was reading a blog by one of the chica's that I follow on Twitter @iamthepeachy1. Her blog Being Peachy is great!  And the post that she did today..about KY and cucumbers. well it was hilarious and made me remember a funny story of my own...  involving cucumbers... :-) 

It was a Halloween party me and (at the the time) husband threw.  It was our first Halloween party and we went all out.. had decorations, drinks, food (thanks to my mom), and of course a costume contest.  So just about everyone showed up with a costume!  It was packed in our lil house... I would say about 30 people showed up and they were all squeezed in the kitchen or the family room... It was great fun. I dressed up as a dead prostitute.. my neighbor was a school girl... and the other neighbor kid (who was I think maybe 18??) dressed as Ron Jeremy (porn star for those who don't know)... Why are these 3 costumes important... well I'll tell ya.. 
About an hour or so into the party... we were all talking about "Ron Jeremy"... and how.. well how "endowed" he's supposed to be... and well the 18yr just wasn't cuttin it... He needed a cucumber...  yea.. that's it.. He needed a cucumber.. I mean what porn star doesn't have a cucumber?? 
So me and the school girl decide we are going to go down to the corner convenient store and get him his cucumber... still dressed in our wonderfully sexy costumes... 
So we go down to the store... and get a very nice size cucumber... and go to the register. 
The cashier looks at us... and the cucumber... and at us...  
She asks: Having a party tonite girls? 
We say: yup... we have a porn star and this will come in handy.  (ok.. maybe not those exact words... but hey this is my story.. i can make stuff up if i want to) 
She says: well have fun! 
I can only imagine what was going through her mind when we left. 

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

She loves her puppy...

Holiday weekend in a nutshell

This was definetely a different kinda weekend... It wasnt all bad.. and it was good for the most part... 
I am realizing i am still trying to find myself...  and maybe this is a journey I will always be on.. I don't know. 

This weekend was nice... Friday I got to spend the evening with my bff. We went for a nice long walk but... on the way home... *sniff sniff* I hit a deer...  Luckily I didn't hit it too hard... it bounced off the hood of my car... did a flip... and went running off... I really hope it was alright...  My hood's got a lil dent in it... and there was some hair in the grill of my car... I was laughing because that's what I do when I get nervous about something...  ugh.  I don't have the money to fix it. So I'll have to live with it for awhile. oh well.  

Saturday my son had his baseball game. It was a lot of fun. His dad was there and my other bff came up for a bit.  My son went back home with his dad and it was just me and baby girl.  We did a whole lotta nothing.  When we got back me,her, and the two dogs took like a two hour nap in my bed... I had suck a bad headache... and hoped the nap would help.. yea.. nope it didn't.  The rest of the night we pretty much just layed around and watched movies. 

Sunday I pretty much just hung out...  It was a good day... In the evening I went to my Grandma Barbs for a cook out and to watch the fireworks.. it was nice.. but a lil depressing... I hate watching fireworks "alone" and this was the first year... in probably 5 that I have been single on the 4th of July. It really kinda sucked...  Oh well I guess... 

Monday.. I was in a really down and sour mood... Nothing seemed to be able to go right... but I did get the dogs a bath and the family room rearranged... so that was a plus.  My mom and I went for a walk with the dogs and baby girl rode her bike.. then we went for ice cream. I finally got my relaxing night that I had planned all week.. Candles lit- read a book- glass of wine... aaaaahhh perfection. 

How was your fourth? 

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Letter to myself

I seen a few other bloggers post something like this on their blogs.. I thought it was a really cute idea... so I am gonna give it a try... 

Dear Me Age 13: 
Wow.. this is the year you are going to try and make up for not being popular for the last few year... make up for being the fat ugly chic all thru Catholic school.. and this is the year when you get to be older... the stories will always start out.. When I was 13.. But dang girl... Do you really have to fit it all in now?! You will have your first kiss by some boy that you didn't know.. and still don't know his name? You will lose your virginity to some boy who promises you he loves you but wont talk to you hardly ever again after that day.  Don't worry you will survive this. You bounce back quickly. You will make friends this year that will last a life time...  stick by them... even if you separate for awhile.. stay friends.
Oh. and PS. wearing the big huge baggy (man) pants and tshirts ain't cool.. neither is cutting your hair short.. wearing too much eye liner... and dying your hair bright orange.. oh and neither are overalls...unless you are a farmer. 

Dear Me Age 15: 
A new school... it will be different, but you will meet some great people this year. When that guy comes up to you in the mall.. its ok.. give him your number.. He will be in your life for a very long time.  You will also meet your your future husband and father to your son this year...  Don't worry.. He does like you... He's shy.. go ahead.. make the first moves...  you won't regret it.  Oh and trying to give this boy a blow job in the back of your moms car... ain't the smartest idea (sorry mom) 

Dear Me Age 18: 
Quit breaking up with him. You are going to marry him... but I know you are trying to get some freedom.. something you have never really had... and something you will always  desire and push for.  You will barely graduate this year.  Ugh. study harder!!!  because barely passing ain't cool.. and ain't something to be proud of.  

Dear Me Age 19: 
Welp. You will find out life altering news... You are going to be a mom.  This will change your life. You will realize that this boy is the one to keep... and you will try and do better in the relationship. You will realize your mom is ready to be a grandma. And you will realize being pregnant is the best thing in the world next to actually having the baby. And you will realize how crazy grandparents can be! 

Dear Me Age 20: 
Busy year.  You have a baby. You buy a house. You make a life.  You don't cheat.

Dear Me Age 22: 
Don't get married just cuz its the right thing to do. If you are not ready to work at... then don't even get into it... its a long hard process to get out of and it hurts.. not only you.. but everyone involved!!! 

Dear Me Age 23/24:
Divorce sucks. But you will get thru that and learn that just because you divorced him.. he is still your best friend. Don't let a man control you. I know you love him. I know you love him like no one else.. and I know you think he's your true love... but this man will also hurt you more than anyone else you will meet.  But you will have a beautiful baby with him... and you will learn how to be strong and how to survive depression, loneliness, and late nights with a sick baby by yourself.  In one year.. you will be single again... and you will be stronger every day. You will have many fights with him and with your family... this will help you... really it will. 

Dear Me Age 25: 
It hurts so bad right now... You will survive. You will make it thru. You have a great family that is there to help you thru it all. Its not worth stop eating for two weeks because he wont call you back. And you are not stupid for giving him another chance.. you think with your heart.. and hope for the best... that's you...  I know you wont ever understand how he can have a child with you and doesn't want to see her... but you are strong enough to be both mom and dad.  

Dear Me Age 26: 
You will finally give in to God!! This will be the best day of your life... You have had so many almost... quit fighting it...  God is good... 
Just because you had a great time on a first date... and you are trying to get over the jerk off that is a sperm donor at this point...  doesn't mean you need to hook up with another loser!!! Really listen to your gut.. and quit giving him the benefit of doubt with him.. he's not worth it.. But I can say.. God brought him into your life for a reason... To find your church!! OH and baby daddy will come and give you all those promises that he loves you... he will do what ever he can to make it right...  and you will go for it again... you will survive... it gets easier...  you are strong...  try not to believe him anymore... but you will. 

Dear Me Age 27: 
Well you are on a better path now... that's good.. but quit going out looking for love... and sleeping with a guy ain't going to make him love you... this is something that will take you years to learn... if ever really.   Keep going to church. Keep praying. God has gotten you thru everything thus far... He will get you thru everything again...   You will start dating your bff.. I know... you never thought that would happen.. He's a good guy. try not to be so hard on him.. He's not your past. He loves you. Hes young.. so cut him some slack... He will always be your bff.  And the baby daddy will come in again... and you will say ok.. to another chance... and once again.. he will prove he can't. He won't change... but don't ever for a second believe that you are not worth something.. just because maybe to his dumb ass you ain't worth it... doesn't mean you are not... You are beautiful. You are smart... You are worth it!!! 

Dear Me Age 28:
wow.  God has been so good to you... answered prayers in ways you never even thought... 
you will finally meet a man that makes you feel special and loved... he will be great to your kids...  but there will be issues... there's always going to be issues... with anyone... its all a matter of what you want...  don't give up prayer... God will answer your prayers...  that's a promise... I can't really give advice right now... I guess just think with your head over your heart... think about your kids.. they are the most important . period... and NEVER LOSE FAITH IN GOD! 

Friday, July 2, 2010

Realization Friday

I've come to realize: 

~ that i can't save everyone. the people i love will be sad, hurt, scared, and self-destructive. and there's nothing i can do to change that :-(

~ that i have the attention span of a.... wait what was i talking about? 

~ if I am being pulled in too many different directions... I tend to just shut down

~ people have opinions but you are the one in control of what you want and need

~ that a night of good sex makes everything that was a problem or an issue a lot easier to deal with

~  ex's are an ex for a reason... but sometimes people do grow and change and an ex and become a now

If you would like to submit your realizations for next friday's post, please email them to me at  Everything is kept confidential and emails are deleted once the realizations have been posted. 

God Bless