Thank you for all of the contributions this week!!
If you want your realization to be post up here next week... just email me at sphillips3982@gmail.com.
IVE COME TO REALIZE...
~ that warm weather means cooking becomes fun
~ that i need to get to bed earlier so i dont end up oversleeping and end up late for work
~ never to get involved with a father/son relationship- stay as far away as possible
~ that somethings just aint worth arguing about
~ that i love spring but hate allergy season
~ that the loss of a job, a friend, or a lover aint the end of the world... something/someone better will come along.. you just have to have faith in God
~ that you could die tomorrow so why worry so much about everything today
~ that situations can change in a matter of seconds, minutes, or days.. especially if the heart is involved
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
hehe... i sent this to my bf to make :~)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
i love this song...
Lyrics to Revelation Song :
Worthy is the, Lamb who was slain
Holy, Holy, is He
Sing a new song, to him who sits on
Heaven's mercy seat
[2X]
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You
Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and glory and power be
to You the only wise King
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You
Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder
At the mention of your name
Jesus your name is power
Breath, and living water
Such a marvelous mystery
Yeah...
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come, yeah
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You
[3X]
[ Revelation Song Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]
I really love this song... I uplifts my heart, my spirit, my mood, my mind whenever I hear it. We sing it in church and I can't even explain the feeling I get when the whole church is singing this song... You can really feel Jesus in there with us!!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
My New Hair!!
I decided to do something different to my hair. I dye my hair myself anymore because I dont have the money to pay a salon to do it. Sometimes it turns out good.. sometimes not always how I expected... This time.. i love it! Here's my 2 night journey to get my hair right! :-)
I wanted just a blonde streak in the front of my hair. So I parted out what I wanted blonde and colored that first. (sunday night)
Because I had colored my hair a burgendy color a while back.. I still had the red tint in my hair. So when I tried to dye it blond.. the roots took great... but the rest of my hair was a burnt orange/blonde color..
Which really didnt look bad with the washed out burgendy color I had.. but it was more of a fall look in my mind.. and that wasnt what I was going for...
So the next day I went back to the store and got some more of the blonde coloring.. and tryed again... this time I parted and wrapped in tin foil so that way the dye solution was sitting right on my scalp (it was sensitive after the night before)
After about a half hour i took the tin foil off, washed my hair.. then pined up the blonde part and dyed the rest black... I parted out a small section of the blonde to dye black too. (see below why)
This is the end result!
The top
the "bangs" that I parted out from the blond to dye black...
I like wearing my hair pulled back from time to time.. but I really didnt want the full on "skunk look" so I dyed the "bangs" black so it will be a more streaked look on the pulled back hair!
So whatcha think?
I dont think its too bad for someone that never went to school for this! lol.
OH yea.. this is what I used:
Monday, April 26, 2010
Pondering on getting a dog.
When me and my ex were together.. I would have thought nothing about getting another dog.. hell at one time me and him had 3 dogs and a cat.. He'd call me up and say.. i found a dog.. lets get him.. Id say.. ok. no thoughts.. no doubts... nothing...
But i have grown up a bit since that time... about 4years ago... and now... i kinda like not having a ton of animals... I have a chihuahua and a hamster. Perfect.
Over the weekend my BF, me and the kiddos went down to visit his friend... who's dogs just had puppies... My BF is def. getting a lil girl puppy (the only female)... and the more i was around the puppys and the parents.. the more i started missing having a BIG dog. The parents are big dogs.. the dad i believe they said was around 80lbs. I had a big dog before.. I loved that dog.. was the best dog I ever had. So this whole weekend Ive been going back and forth on if i should get a dog. I really want one... but.......
My main concern is $$$$ MONEY. I dont make that much.. and my bills take up about 90% of my pay... but I have always been able to manage.
My list of things that I would need for the dog:
Vet vistit- shots/flea meds
Food
Cage (i think i can create my own "cage")
Collar/leash
Nuetered
possibly a shock training collar and/or electric fence
then theres the whole training it thing.. im not good at house breaking a dog.. im lazy... my chihuahua right now..still aint completely house broken.. but i really cant blame her for her "accidents" in the house... cuz I really dont let her out enough. But I was able to house break my other "big" dog with out any problems...
I think more thank likely ill get a puppy. but its just me overthinking the whole situation.. making a lot worse than it needs to be... why can't i just go with the flow.. and just do it.. and not worry so much?? lol.
But i have grown up a bit since that time... about 4years ago... and now... i kinda like not having a ton of animals... I have a chihuahua and a hamster. Perfect.
Over the weekend my BF, me and the kiddos went down to visit his friend... who's dogs just had puppies... My BF is def. getting a lil girl puppy (the only female)... and the more i was around the puppys and the parents.. the more i started missing having a BIG dog. The parents are big dogs.. the dad i believe they said was around 80lbs. I had a big dog before.. I loved that dog.. was the best dog I ever had. So this whole weekend Ive been going back and forth on if i should get a dog. I really want one... but.......
My main concern is $$$$ MONEY. I dont make that much.. and my bills take up about 90% of my pay... but I have always been able to manage.
My list of things that I would need for the dog:
Vet vistit- shots/flea meds
Food
Cage (i think i can create my own "cage")
Collar/leash
Nuetered
possibly a shock training collar and/or electric fence
then theres the whole training it thing.. im not good at house breaking a dog.. im lazy... my chihuahua right now..still aint completely house broken.. but i really cant blame her for her "accidents" in the house... cuz I really dont let her out enough. But I was able to house break my other "big" dog with out any problems...
I think more thank likely ill get a puppy. but its just me overthinking the whole situation.. making a lot worse than it needs to be... why can't i just go with the flow.. and just do it.. and not worry so much?? lol.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
RANDOM QUESTIONS
LAYER 1: Tell us your...
* Name: I HAVE MANY... MOM. HUN. BABY. PRINCESS. KITTEN. OVERTHINKING MAMA. SARAH.
* Birthday (month, day): 3/9
* Birthplace: CLEVELAND
* Current location: CLOSE TO INSANE, OHIO :-)
* Eye color: IT CHANGES.. SOMETIMES GREENISH.. SOMETIMES BLUISH.. SOMETIMES A MIX OF BOTH
* Hair color: DEPENDS ON MY MOOD... CURRENTLY BROWN WITH REDISH HIGHLIGHTS... POSSIBLY GOING BLACK NEXT WEEK :-)
* Height: 5'6"
* Righty or lefty: RIGHTY
* Zodiac sign: PICESES
LAYER 2: What's...
* Your heritage: GERMAN.. AND WHO KNOWS WHATELSE... I FORGET.. THO I CAN TRACE MY HERITAGE BACK TO THE AMISH WAYS... I LOVE TELLING PEOPLE THAT.. THEY THINK I AM CRAZY. :-)
* The shoes you wore today: A PIC IS BETTER:
* Your weakness: TOO MANY TO LIST.
* Your fears: BEING HURT, LOSING MY KIDS.. SMALL FEAR OF HEIGHTS
* Your perfect pizza: I LOVE THE WHITE CHEESEY PIZZA FROM MARCOS.. MMM..
* Goals you’d like to achieve: GO BACK TO SCHOOL. GET A BIGGER HOUSE.. GET MARRIED.
* Your first waking thoughts: 5 MORE MINUTE MOM... PLEASE... OH CRAP.. IM THE MOM...
* Your best physical feature: ID SAY MY EYES
* Your most missed memory: IF ITS A MISSED MEMORY.. THAN HOW DO I KNOW? IF IM MISSING IT.. IT WOULDNT BE A MEMORY? OR AM I READING INTO THIS TOO MUCH?
LAYER 3: Do you...
* Smoke: NOPERS
* Cuss: ON OCCASSION.
* Sing: LOVE TO.. BUT NOT SURE THE PEOPLE AROUND ME APPRECIATE IT
* Do you think you’ve been in love: YES/
* Did you go to college: A COUPLE TIME... DROPPED OUT :-(
* Liked high school: HATED SCHOOL PERIOD.
* Want to get/stay married: I DEF. WANT TO GET MARRIED... I WANT TO BE A WIFEY.
* Believe in yourself: YEA
* Think you’re attractive: I THINK THATS A MATTER OF OPINION.. BUT PERSONALLY.. I THINK I AM VERY ATTRACTIVE.. THO SOMETIMES I DO QUESTION IT.
* Think you’re a health freak: HELL NO
* Get along with your parent(s): DEF.. :-)
* Like thunderstorms: I LOVE THUNDERSTORMS!.
* Play an instrument: I TOOK PIANO LESSONS WHEN I WAS LITTLE.. BUT OTHER THAN THAT.. NADA.
LAYER 4: In the past month have you…
* Drank alcohol: YES.
* Smoked: NOPERS
* Done a drug: ILLEGAL- NO
* Made out: HEHE... YES.
* Gone on a date: YEP... ONLY TOOK US 2 1/2 MONTHS TO HAVE ONE WITH KIDS AROUND.. BUT WE DID IT.. AND IT WAS SO NICE.
* Gone to the mall: I THINK I HAVE...
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: LMBO.. YES.. THE WEEK AFTER EASTER!! :-p
* Eaten sushi: LAST FRIDAY.
* Been on stage: NOPE.
* Been dumped: NOPE THANK GOODNESS.
* Gone skating: NO.. BUT THE KIDS KEEP ASKING ME TO GO.
* Gone skinny dipping: ITS BEEN TOO CHILLY FOR THAT... LOL.
* Stolen Anything: JUST MY BF'S HEART! AAWW.
LAYER 5: Have you ever…
* Played a game that required removal of clothing: OH YEA..
* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: :-( A FEW TIMES
* Been caught “doing something”: LMBO.. A FEW TIMES.
* Been called a tease: YES I HAVE...
* Gotten beaten up: NO
* Shoplifted: NO
LAYER 6:
* Age you did get/hope to be married: MARRIED AT 22 DIVORSED AT 23 :-( WOULD LIKE TO BE MARRIED AGAIN AROUND 30.
* Numbers and names of children (either you have or want): IVE GOT TWO.. MAYBE 1 MORE IF AND WHEN I GET MARRIED.
* Describe your dream mate: I HONESTLY DONT KNOW... MY LIST OF WHAT I WANT CHANGES FROM PERSON TO PERSON.. ITS HARD TO SAY WHAT I WANT AND WHAT I DONT WANT TILL IVE REALIZED IT.. MOSTLY FROM EXPERIANCE..
* How do you want to die: I DONT. I WANT TO LIVE FOREVER... AT LEAST MY SOUL WILL WITH JESUS!
* What did you want to be when you grow up: HAHA... DOCTOR, VET, NURSE, WAITRESS, TEACHER.
* What country would you most like to visit: PRETTY MUCH ANY OF THEM... BUT I REALLY WANT TO GO TO PARIS... IT JUST SEEMS SO ROMANTIC THERE :-)
LAYER 7: Now tell...
* Name a drug you’ve taken illegally: VICODIN.
* Name a person you could trust with your life: MY PARENTS
* Name a favorite CD that you own: GRITS... CANT THINK OF THE NAME OF THE CD THO..
* Number of piercings: AT ONE TIME... 6 NOT INCLUDING EARS.
* Number of tattoos: 8
* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: IM NOT REALLY SURE... AT LEAST A COUPLE
* Name a past experience that you regret: THERE ARE A FEW THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT I DO REGRET... BUT I PROBABLY WOULDNT CHANGE THEM.. BECAUSE OF MY PAST I AM WHO I AM TODAY.. AND IF SOMETHING HADNT HAPPEN IN MY PAST.. IT COULD HAVE CHANGED MY PRESENT AND MY FUTURE .
* Name: I HAVE MANY... MOM. HUN. BABY. PRINCESS. KITTEN. OVERTHINKING MAMA. SARAH.
* Birthday (month, day): 3/9
* Birthplace: CLEVELAND
* Current location: CLOSE TO INSANE, OHIO :-)
* Eye color: IT CHANGES.. SOMETIMES GREENISH.. SOMETIMES BLUISH.. SOMETIMES A MIX OF BOTH
* Hair color: DEPENDS ON MY MOOD... CURRENTLY BROWN WITH REDISH HIGHLIGHTS... POSSIBLY GOING BLACK NEXT WEEK :-)
* Height: 5'6"
* Righty or lefty: RIGHTY
* Zodiac sign: PICESES
LAYER 2: What's...
* Your heritage: GERMAN.. AND WHO KNOWS WHATELSE... I FORGET.. THO I CAN TRACE MY HERITAGE BACK TO THE AMISH WAYS... I LOVE TELLING PEOPLE THAT.. THEY THINK I AM CRAZY. :-)
* The shoes you wore today: A PIC IS BETTER:
* Your weakness: TOO MANY TO LIST.
* Your fears: BEING HURT, LOSING MY KIDS.. SMALL FEAR OF HEIGHTS
* Your perfect pizza: I LOVE THE WHITE CHEESEY PIZZA FROM MARCOS.. MMM..
* Goals you’d like to achieve: GO BACK TO SCHOOL. GET A BIGGER HOUSE.. GET MARRIED.
* Your first waking thoughts: 5 MORE MINUTE MOM... PLEASE... OH CRAP.. IM THE MOM...
* Your best physical feature: ID SAY MY EYES
* Your most missed memory: IF ITS A MISSED MEMORY.. THAN HOW DO I KNOW? IF IM MISSING IT.. IT WOULDNT BE A MEMORY? OR AM I READING INTO THIS TOO MUCH?
LAYER 3: Do you...
* Smoke: NOPERS
* Cuss: ON OCCASSION.
* Sing: LOVE TO.. BUT NOT SURE THE PEOPLE AROUND ME APPRECIATE IT
* Do you think you’ve been in love: YES/
* Did you go to college: A COUPLE TIME... DROPPED OUT :-(
* Liked high school: HATED SCHOOL PERIOD.
* Want to get/stay married: I DEF. WANT TO GET MARRIED... I WANT TO BE A WIFEY.
* Believe in yourself: YEA
* Think you’re attractive: I THINK THATS A MATTER OF OPINION.. BUT PERSONALLY.. I THINK I AM VERY ATTRACTIVE.. THO SOMETIMES I DO QUESTION IT.
* Think you’re a health freak: HELL NO
* Get along with your parent(s): DEF.. :-)
* Like thunderstorms: I LOVE THUNDERSTORMS!.
* Play an instrument: I TOOK PIANO LESSONS WHEN I WAS LITTLE.. BUT OTHER THAN THAT.. NADA.
LAYER 4: In the past month have you…
* Drank alcohol: YES.
* Smoked: NOPERS
* Done a drug: ILLEGAL- NO
* Made out: HEHE... YES.
* Gone on a date: YEP... ONLY TOOK US 2 1/2 MONTHS TO HAVE ONE WITH KIDS AROUND.. BUT WE DID IT.. AND IT WAS SO NICE.
* Gone to the mall: I THINK I HAVE...
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: LMBO.. YES.. THE WEEK AFTER EASTER!! :-p
* Eaten sushi: LAST FRIDAY.
* Been on stage: NOPE.
* Been dumped: NOPE THANK GOODNESS.
* Gone skating: NO.. BUT THE KIDS KEEP ASKING ME TO GO.
* Gone skinny dipping: ITS BEEN TOO CHILLY FOR THAT... LOL.
* Stolen Anything: JUST MY BF'S HEART! AAWW.
LAYER 5: Have you ever…
* Played a game that required removal of clothing: OH YEA..
* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: :-( A FEW TIMES
* Been caught “doing something”: LMBO.. A FEW TIMES.
* Been called a tease: YES I HAVE...
* Gotten beaten up: NO
* Shoplifted: NO
LAYER 6:
* Age you did get/hope to be married: MARRIED AT 22 DIVORSED AT 23 :-( WOULD LIKE TO BE MARRIED AGAIN AROUND 30.
* Numbers and names of children (either you have or want): IVE GOT TWO.. MAYBE 1 MORE IF AND WHEN I GET MARRIED.
* Describe your dream mate: I HONESTLY DONT KNOW... MY LIST OF WHAT I WANT CHANGES FROM PERSON TO PERSON.. ITS HARD TO SAY WHAT I WANT AND WHAT I DONT WANT TILL IVE REALIZED IT.. MOSTLY FROM EXPERIANCE..
* How do you want to die: I DONT. I WANT TO LIVE FOREVER... AT LEAST MY SOUL WILL WITH JESUS!
* What did you want to be when you grow up: HAHA... DOCTOR, VET, NURSE, WAITRESS, TEACHER.
* What country would you most like to visit: PRETTY MUCH ANY OF THEM... BUT I REALLY WANT TO GO TO PARIS... IT JUST SEEMS SO ROMANTIC THERE :-)
LAYER 7: Now tell...
* Name a drug you’ve taken illegally: VICODIN.
* Name a person you could trust with your life: MY PARENTS
* Name a favorite CD that you own: GRITS... CANT THINK OF THE NAME OF THE CD THO..
* Number of piercings: AT ONE TIME... 6 NOT INCLUDING EARS.
* Number of tattoos: 8
* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: IM NOT REALLY SURE... AT LEAST A COUPLE
* Name a past experience that you regret: THERE ARE A FEW THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT I DO REGRET... BUT I PROBABLY WOULDNT CHANGE THEM.. BECAUSE OF MY PAST I AM WHO I AM TODAY.. AND IF SOMETHING HADNT HAPPEN IN MY PAST.. IT COULD HAVE CHANGED MY PRESENT AND MY FUTURE .
Friday, April 23, 2010
REALIZATION FRIDAY
Its another realization friday! yay!! and this time ive had some help from others!!
IVE COME TO REALIZE...
~ love is more confusing than women
~ parents are super annoying.. thats what we are born for i guess
~ i have a bad habit of blog surfing and not working
~ i am addicted to my blog
~ no matter how hard you work they are never satisfied... they always want more.
~ im addicted to your love
~ its better to have loved and lost.. than to stay with an idiot
~ i love seeing comments on my blog... and new followers!
~ love makes you put up with a log of crap
I hope you've had some of your own realizatons this week... if you would like to share and have them posted next friday... just email me and itll be on here next friday! :-)
Have a great weekend!
IVE COME TO REALIZE...
~ love is more confusing than women
~ parents are super annoying.. thats what we are born for i guess
~ i have a bad habit of blog surfing and not working
~ i am addicted to my blog
~ no matter how hard you work they are never satisfied... they always want more.
~ im addicted to your love
~ its better to have loved and lost.. than to stay with an idiot
~ i love seeing comments on my blog... and new followers!
~ love makes you put up with a log of crap
I hope you've had some of your own realizatons this week... if you would like to share and have them posted next friday... just email me and itll be on here next friday! :-)
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
warning!!!
Just one of those days
Its just one of those days.... one where I really would have rathered to stay in bed and pretend the world outside didnt exist.. one where sleeping in a drug enduced coma is so much more plesant that feeling the irritation, lack of patience, and depression that to day is going to bring...
But in reality.. this is what it is... this day much happen... and maybe after enough coffee and venting to everyone around me... The day will get better...
I am not really sure what brought on this mood I am in... All week I was in a great great mood!! And maybe that is what it really was... My great moods dont get to last very long in my life... I dont get to be happy for more than a few days before I get back into my depressed state of mind... and being in a relationship effects it all that much more... sadly to say.
*pause for coffee run*
aaannnddd.. resume.
as I was going for coffee.. this thought popped into my mind...
sometimes it would just be easier to stay in a pissed off/depressed kinda mood all the time... At least then I would have my guard up at all time... I wouldnt have to worry about getting hurt because I would already be there. But I know deep down thats not a good life.. thats not a happy life. Its not fair to me.. my family.. or my friends/BF even tho it would be so much easier...
My biggest fear is being hurt. period.
I have spent the last 5 years of my life trying to be happy... (granted ive spent my whole life trying to be happy...but the last 5 years is when I can really really see it)
Im trying to pin point exactly what triggered me being in the mood that I am in now... and I know what it was.... my BF. Not anything that he did intentionally to hurt me... and really nothing he did to me period... but just something that I have issues with. Last night I text him... and text him and text him... for 2 hours... no reply... so me being the paranoid, overthinking woman that I am... I start thinking the worst... that he's with another woman... that he's drunk... that he's out and about and not concerned with me... mainly... that he's not concerned with me... Now dont take this as he's given me any reason to not trust him or anything like that... its me. its becuase of my past that I am having half the issues that I do. (fyi he fell asleep and thats why he didnt reply/text etc.)
Some of its about priority. If I am dating someone... especially if the "i love you" has been said...that man becomes a priority in my life... not over my kids of course...but a priority in it own right... that means... I make sure that through out my day .. I text, call, whatever I can to show him that I am thinking about him. I almost always have my phone by me to make sure that when he text or calls me... I am there.. I can reply.. maybe not that second.. but asap. And becuase I do this.. I kinda expect it in return. And normally my BF now is really good about that... so when there are long periods of time (over an hour) where I dont hear from him... my mind goes a lil crazy.
MY STORY:
The last guy I dated... who also was my bff before we dated... I did this with him... text him thru out the day.. made sure I text him good morning... and he would reply... eventually... sometimes it would 3, 4, 5 hrs later. He would text other people... call other people... but when it came to me... eh.. oh well.. who cares.. at least that is how I felt. When we were just friends.. he always replyed asap.. but as soon as we started dating... not so much... I talked to him about this... it did no good... So I started no texting him (i hate playing games tho) and he wouldnt go an entired day with out hearing from me... and not thinking anything about it. This made me feel like I wasnt anything special to him... I told him... that I felt like I was just a glorified friend... I didnt feel like a GF to him... I was just a good friend... that he got to have sex with. It was a horrible feeling.. he would make plans with me... then cancel at the last second cuz he'd rather hang out with other people... and he didnt see this as rude or as something for me to be upset about... again.. i felt like i wanst anything special to him... So because of this... I got issues.
The guy before him... we text all the time.. all day long.. we worked different shifts.. so really this was the only way we got to talk to each other or anything... Towards the end of our relationship he started no replying to my messages while he was at work... or not texting me at all.. he would say it was because he was really busy at work or whatnot... but come to find out... it was because he was busy texting a coworker... so becuase of this... I got issues..
Now I try really hard to not let my past issues effect my present situation... and most of the time I dont have issues with it... but that is also when I keep walls up... when I keep my heart at an arms length from loving someone completely... from getting hurt... but once I start letting down my guard and let the walls fall... I hurt easily... I over think situations... and remember the past hurt and pain that I have felt from idiotic ex's and their stupidity that has caused me issues...
Love is a double edged sword... no matter what you will get hurt... even in the bestest of relationship...hurt is involved at some point or another... you can't fully be in love with someone and never be hurt.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
my 3 year olds coloring page
A New Poem :-)
I want dinner and candle light
Roses on the bed
Whispering I love you's
Gentle kisses on my head
Impromtu back rubs
Just because you care
Holding me so closely
Running your fingers thru my hair
I just want you to love me
And show me I'm the one
Together, you complete me
Your my moon and I am your sun
Roses on the bed
Whispering I love you's
Gentle kisses on my head
Impromtu back rubs
Just because you care
Holding me so closely
Running your fingers thru my hair
I just want you to love me
And show me I'm the one
Together, you complete me
Your my moon and I am your sun
Monday, April 19, 2010
redneck towing~ pics from my friend tom
Sunday, April 18, 2010
something about it.
For some odd reason lately.. I have had this strong urge to have a baby... and BF if you are reading this.. dont worry!
One of my friends on twitter is prego... and since Ive been looking thru more and more blogs on here... Ive found a lot on pregnancy, newborns, birth, etc...
And for a split second... I miss being pregnant... im one of those odd women that loved being pregnant...i love giving birth. I really dont mind going thru all of that again...
Now with that being said... yea i miss it.. and yea i would love to have a baby... BUT!!! BBBUUUTTT not right now! lol. (see i told ya BF.. not to worry)
I am not ready right now in my life to have another kid.. I have two already.. thats plenty. I am not married... not engaged.. that is one thing that I promised myself... I WILL NOT HAVE ANOTHER KIDS TILL I AM MARRIED. ive had 2 babys out of wedlock.. and I am now a single mom (not single single.. i am dating an awesome man.. but single as in not married or engaged) .. and raising them on my own... I dont want to be in this situation with 3 kids!! And yes my BF is great... but weve only known each other for 3 months (today acatually) and I am not ready to have a kid with him... I still dont know him!!! Hes a great father and all.. but I dont want to be in that situation.
I am on birth control.. Mirena. I am still good for 2 more years... so I am not really worried about becoming prego or anything like that... It was just one of those aawww.. the baby's cute... i want one... wait.. no.. i dont. type of feelings... so I needed a blog post.. here ya go! lol.
Do you ever get feelings like that?!
One of my friends on twitter is prego... and since Ive been looking thru more and more blogs on here... Ive found a lot on pregnancy, newborns, birth, etc...
And for a split second... I miss being pregnant... im one of those odd women that loved being pregnant...i love giving birth. I really dont mind going thru all of that again...
Now with that being said... yea i miss it.. and yea i would love to have a baby... BUT!!! BBBUUUTTT not right now! lol. (see i told ya BF.. not to worry)
I am not ready right now in my life to have another kid.. I have two already.. thats plenty. I am not married... not engaged.. that is one thing that I promised myself... I WILL NOT HAVE ANOTHER KIDS TILL I AM MARRIED. ive had 2 babys out of wedlock.. and I am now a single mom (not single single.. i am dating an awesome man.. but single as in not married or engaged) .. and raising them on my own... I dont want to be in this situation with 3 kids!! And yes my BF is great... but weve only known each other for 3 months (today acatually) and I am not ready to have a kid with him... I still dont know him!!! Hes a great father and all.. but I dont want to be in that situation.
I am on birth control.. Mirena. I am still good for 2 more years... so I am not really worried about becoming prego or anything like that... It was just one of those aawww.. the baby's cute... i want one... wait.. no.. i dont. type of feelings... so I needed a blog post.. here ya go! lol.
Do you ever get feelings like that?!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
A Handwritten Post
Ok.. so.. during my blog travels... which is where I read a blog.. and see something about another blog.. click on it... read.. find another blog.. click on it.. read.. etc.. I ended up at
3 men and a lady. And she had a post on there called A (Partially) Handwritten Post. I thought it was a really cute idea... so I am going to do that too... and im even thinking about maybe incorporating that into a weekly or monthly blog post... where you.. my readers.. ask me different questions... and I will handwrite them out.. and then post them on here. I am going to have to think on that (comment me on your thoughts).
Anywho.. these are the questions she had in her blog:
The questions ...
1) Your name/blog name?
2) Right-handed, left-handed, or ambidextrous?
3) Favorite letters to write?
4) Least favorite letters to write?
5) Write “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”
6) Write the following words in capital letters:
- CRAB
- HUMOR
- KALEIDOSCOPE
- PAJAMAS
- GAZILLION
7) Write your favorite song lyric.
8) Tag people!
9) Any special note or picture.
3 men and a lady. And she had a post on there called A (Partially) Handwritten Post. I thought it was a really cute idea... so I am going to do that too... and im even thinking about maybe incorporating that into a weekly or monthly blog post... where you.. my readers.. ask me different questions... and I will handwrite them out.. and then post them on here. I am going to have to think on that (comment me on your thoughts).
Anywho.. these are the questions she had in her blog:
The questions ...
1) Your name/blog name?
2) Right-handed, left-handed, or ambidextrous?
3) Favorite letters to write?
4) Least favorite letters to write?
5) Write “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”
6) Write the following words in capital letters:
- CRAB
- HUMOR
- KALEIDOSCOPE
- PAJAMAS
- GAZILLION
7) Write your favorite song lyric.
8) Tag people!
9) Any special note or picture.
I like writing on the paper sideways.. i think i write pretty that way! lol. i know i have issues!! lol.
Friday, April 16, 2010
REALIZATION FRIDAY
Ive come to realize:
~ that i am not in the mood to do these today! lol.
~ that there are a lot of perverts out there... lol... (so glad im not one of them... there needs to be a "im saying that sarcasticly" emoticon) lol.
~ that i love blogging... ive been doing it for 2years now... and its just in the past week that I have really loved it... i look forward to getting on and writing and seeing who will comment and if i have any new followers!! thank you guys!!!!
~ that i have gotten more followers of this blog in the last 2 weeks.. than i did any of my other blogs over the last 2 years!
~ that my God is so wonderful- i didnt just realize this completely.. but i am always amazed how He works!!! really!!!
~ that some people say there are my friend... and of course i will always be there for them if needed.. but thats all it is... im there for them... the favor is never returned... and i guess im fine with that.
~ i befriend everyone... i like getting along with people... i like interacting with people... even when i really should just leave them alone.. they are bad news
~ i am tired of being thought of just a girl or just a female that doesnt know anything... theres a lot i dont know..but dont try and take advantage of me cuz im a girl.. i can kick ur butt!
~ that it may take me a minute... but i will figure it out.. i will realize the truth... i notice everything... and i have a great memory.. when i want to.. and it important.
~ that maybe i should open this up to everyone... so if you have anything that you would like to add to the realization friday for next week... email me please: sphillips3982@gmail.com... i will keep them anonyms
~ that i am not in the mood to do these today! lol.
~ that there are a lot of perverts out there... lol... (so glad im not one of them... there needs to be a "im saying that sarcasticly" emoticon) lol.
~ that i love blogging... ive been doing it for 2years now... and its just in the past week that I have really loved it... i look forward to getting on and writing and seeing who will comment and if i have any new followers!! thank you guys!!!!
~ that i have gotten more followers of this blog in the last 2 weeks.. than i did any of my other blogs over the last 2 years!
~ that my God is so wonderful- i didnt just realize this completely.. but i am always amazed how He works!!! really!!!
~ that some people say there are my friend... and of course i will always be there for them if needed.. but thats all it is... im there for them... the favor is never returned... and i guess im fine with that.
~ i befriend everyone... i like getting along with people... i like interacting with people... even when i really should just leave them alone.. they are bad news
~ i am tired of being thought of just a girl or just a female that doesnt know anything... theres a lot i dont know..but dont try and take advantage of me cuz im a girl.. i can kick ur butt!
~ that it may take me a minute... but i will figure it out.. i will realize the truth... i notice everything... and i have a great memory.. when i want to.. and it important.
~ that maybe i should open this up to everyone... so if you have anything that you would like to add to the realization friday for next week... email me please: sphillips3982@gmail.com... i will keep them anonyms
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
fun friendlys ice cream night
Bad Mommy
I am having a "bad mommy" moment.. only its lasting a couple weeks..
I am not really sure what is going on with me but I am just not in a good mood. I have no patience, I am tired, I am depressed... I am stressed.
The last couple weeks to say the least have been very stressful for me around my house with the hot water tank leaking and ruining half my flooring to my house being torn up and outta sync for me... to feeling like my house is always a disaster.. theres always laundry to do, dishes to wash, and something to bathe.
I feel bad for my kids right now because I am at the point where its stressful just being around them... and I hate saying that... but honestly that is how I feel. I love my kids more than anything but I have lost all patience for them and need a break! I am tired of having to repeat myself 5 and 6 times for them to do something as simple as get their coats and shoes on before we leave the house! I am tired of them purposely doing something they know they are not supposed to do and hoping that this time I wont say anything to them.
I know its not their fault that I am stressed over my house... over money... over life. And yet they are the ones who are practically getting the punishments for it.
I need a "me" night... I need a vacation... I need a break! I need time without my kids. In order for me to be a better mommy I need a break.
I am hoping to get that some this weekend. My son will be with his father Saturday and Sunday. My stepmom is going to watch my daughter. and I am planning on making a trip out of town. Hopefully tho... I can get things situated with my house first so that way I don't come home to more stress with feeling overwhelmed by needed to clean and such.
I am not really sure what is going on with me but I am just not in a good mood. I have no patience, I am tired, I am depressed... I am stressed.
The last couple weeks to say the least have been very stressful for me around my house with the hot water tank leaking and ruining half my flooring to my house being torn up and outta sync for me... to feeling like my house is always a disaster.. theres always laundry to do, dishes to wash, and something to bathe.
I feel bad for my kids right now because I am at the point where its stressful just being around them... and I hate saying that... but honestly that is how I feel. I love my kids more than anything but I have lost all patience for them and need a break! I am tired of having to repeat myself 5 and 6 times for them to do something as simple as get their coats and shoes on before we leave the house! I am tired of them purposely doing something they know they are not supposed to do and hoping that this time I wont say anything to them.
I know its not their fault that I am stressed over my house... over money... over life. And yet they are the ones who are practically getting the punishments for it.
I need a "me" night... I need a vacation... I need a break! I need time without my kids. In order for me to be a better mommy I need a break.
I am hoping to get that some this weekend. My son will be with his father Saturday and Sunday. My stepmom is going to watch my daughter. and I am planning on making a trip out of town. Hopefully tho... I can get things situated with my house first so that way I don't come home to more stress with feeling overwhelmed by needed to clean and such.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Its been one of those days... no i mean weeks... months?
The last few weeks for me I have been pretty stressful. Especially last week with my hot water tank bursting and having half my house torn up... It all has just left me exhausted and back to the feeling that I just tired of doing all of this alone!
(ok... now i have completely lost my train of thought as to where i was going with this because i keep getting distracted.. ugh) anywho.
I guess I just feel a lil overwhelmed and stressed out over life right now... Like there a lot of great things in my life- dont get me wrong there... but its just the other things... that are weighing me down and making me wish I didnt have to do it alone..
I know I have a great boyfriend...and he's always there for me and helps me as much as he can... but the thing is... when something goes wrong with my house... I am not going to expect (and probably wont even ask) him to help me do anything... It MY house.. It MY responsibility... thats just me.. thats who I am... I am an independent woman... I hate relying on anyone to help me with MY stuff... yet... I am yearning to be taken care of.
I think also part of my issue right now.. is I am tired of always being the one who has to be responsible for EVERYTHING... the one who has to make all the choices.. the one who has the weight of a house payment, utility bills, kids, car, etc... on my shoulders.
I have never had a man take care of me. My BF right now.. is the closest thing I have ever had to it... and that scares me to death too! We were talking last week (before the hot water tank issue) and he suggested me moving down there with him if and when I get laid off (ive been worried about getting laid off for over 2yrs now... just kinda waiting for it to happen). He is the first man ever to ask me to move in with him. Ive lived with 2 men in my life... My exhusband and my daughters father. My exhusband and I bought a house together... and my daughters father moved in to my house (well we moved in together there too but it was MY house).
Right now the idea of moving in with him is very appealing... I wouldnt be alone all the time... I would have someone to support me in life. To be there to hold me on those really hard days... someone to help me raise my kids even if nothing more as someone there (in person) for me to talk to about any issues.
But moving in with someone scares the crap out of me... its one thing to have someone move into my house... Im still in control... I wouldnt be the one out on the street if it ended up not working out... but me moving myself and 2 kids in with a man is scary... thats something I have to think about... and I always told myself that I wouldnt live with anyone unless we were at least engaged and had a date set... I dont wanna just go thru the motions of a "family" unless that is def. the end plan.
I guess part of the biggest thing is I am tired of doing it all alone... and I have been doing it all alone for the last 3yrs... its tiring.
Right now my life consists of :
I need to get my grass mowed..
I need to finish laundry and have it all put away.
I have dishes that need to be done.
I need to get my back yard cleaned up
I want a swing for the frong of my house
I want a gazebo for my back deck
I have to deal with the flooring and repairs to my house
I have to handle my kids and fight with them and all that on a daily basis.
I have to work 9hrs everyday... come home and spend 2 hrs with my kids and in this time I have too cook dinner and clean and help with homework or anything else that needs to be done before they go to bed.
I am just tired of it all. I wish I could get off work earlier... I wish I had more time and energy to deal with it all.
I guess over all I am just tired. lol. and its starting to effect me... being a Mom, being a daughter, being a woman, being a GF... I have no patience.. I have no desire to do anything after work... I just feel like my overload button went out... and I need reset! lol.
I so need a vacation!
and right now I need to go get my son from school.
(ok... now i have completely lost my train of thought as to where i was going with this because i keep getting distracted.. ugh) anywho.
I guess I just feel a lil overwhelmed and stressed out over life right now... Like there a lot of great things in my life- dont get me wrong there... but its just the other things... that are weighing me down and making me wish I didnt have to do it alone..
I know I have a great boyfriend...and he's always there for me and helps me as much as he can... but the thing is... when something goes wrong with my house... I am not going to expect (and probably wont even ask) him to help me do anything... It MY house.. It MY responsibility... thats just me.. thats who I am... I am an independent woman... I hate relying on anyone to help me with MY stuff... yet... I am yearning to be taken care of.
I think also part of my issue right now.. is I am tired of always being the one who has to be responsible for EVERYTHING... the one who has to make all the choices.. the one who has the weight of a house payment, utility bills, kids, car, etc... on my shoulders.
I have never had a man take care of me. My BF right now.. is the closest thing I have ever had to it... and that scares me to death too! We were talking last week (before the hot water tank issue) and he suggested me moving down there with him if and when I get laid off (ive been worried about getting laid off for over 2yrs now... just kinda waiting for it to happen). He is the first man ever to ask me to move in with him. Ive lived with 2 men in my life... My exhusband and my daughters father. My exhusband and I bought a house together... and my daughters father moved in to my house (well we moved in together there too but it was MY house).
Right now the idea of moving in with him is very appealing... I wouldnt be alone all the time... I would have someone to support me in life. To be there to hold me on those really hard days... someone to help me raise my kids even if nothing more as someone there (in person) for me to talk to about any issues.
But moving in with someone scares the crap out of me... its one thing to have someone move into my house... Im still in control... I wouldnt be the one out on the street if it ended up not working out... but me moving myself and 2 kids in with a man is scary... thats something I have to think about... and I always told myself that I wouldnt live with anyone unless we were at least engaged and had a date set... I dont wanna just go thru the motions of a "family" unless that is def. the end plan.
I guess part of the biggest thing is I am tired of doing it all alone... and I have been doing it all alone for the last 3yrs... its tiring.
Right now my life consists of :
I need to get my grass mowed..
I need to finish laundry and have it all put away.
I have dishes that need to be done.
I need to get my back yard cleaned up
I want a swing for the frong of my house
I want a gazebo for my back deck
I have to deal with the flooring and repairs to my house
I have to handle my kids and fight with them and all that on a daily basis.
I have to work 9hrs everyday... come home and spend 2 hrs with my kids and in this time I have too cook dinner and clean and help with homework or anything else that needs to be done before they go to bed.
I am just tired of it all. I wish I could get off work earlier... I wish I had more time and energy to deal with it all.
I guess over all I am just tired. lol. and its starting to effect me... being a Mom, being a daughter, being a woman, being a GF... I have no patience.. I have no desire to do anything after work... I just feel like my overload button went out... and I need reset! lol.
I so need a vacation!
and right now I need to go get my son from school.
Post-It Note Tuesday- I need a vaca
If you want to do a Post-It Note Tuesday, go here to get the sticky's.
Then leave me a comment below with the link to your blog so I can check it out!
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