Saturday, February 27, 2016

Dear Samipooh 2/23/16

Dear Samipooh! 

First and foremost I want to tell you how much I love you. 

You have been our daughter for almost two years now. Wow. crazy that its only been that long. I feel like you have always been here, that you have always been part of our family-that you have always been our daughter. 

We have had some ups and downs and even though there I days I feel like I want to pull my hair out or just crawl into a corner and bawl my eyes out like a little baby, I would't trade any of it for the world. 

You are such a bright sweet and beautiful little girl.  I don't know the extent of everything that you have gone through before you came to be our daughter and I hate that you had to go through any of that or had to be taken away from your mom, but I am thankful that I now get to be your mom. 

The past couple years that you have been with us have been amazing! I have watched you grow up in so many ways. I am so thankful to be your mom. 

I love you! 

Your Mama! 

Friday, February 26, 2016

Phases

Someone had posted this on Facebook this morning and it completely hit home for me. Especially because that is exactly what I am going through right now. 

It's not that I don't want to talk to someone or that I am upset or anything like that... Its almost like I just don't have the energy to make a conversation in my head and then get it out verbally or via text.   

Right now for the past couple weeks I have been very irritable and very easily frustrated. I hate feeling like this.  And it seems like nothing I do, changes it.   Every little thing upset me. 
The babies cry too much. 
The babies want to be held too much. 
The big girls don't listen.
The big girls don't clean up after themselves.
The boy wants to procrastinate till the last minute and then rush everyone else like he's been ready the whole time. 
The hubby doesn't pick up after himself.
The hubby just throws his clothes wherever and everywhere. 
The father thinks that calling at 7am when he knows I am trying to get everyone out of the house and to school on time is a good time to call and ask me to stop over and change a light bulb. 
Everyone thinks that I just sit on my phone all day and night and when they text, call, message, that I should reply instantly. 
That people call to make an appointment, don't give me an option to say no, and then show up for said appointment 2 hours early and act like we were the one in the wrong. 

*sigh*

With all that going on, its hard for me to have the extra energy to make a conversation with anyone... so I would rather just not.  But I do. I force myself. Because I know the longer I go with out talking to people, the more I seclude myself- the deeper down the dark hole I will go. I need others in my life to keep me from drowning in that hole of darkness. 

It can be a fight and battle everyday... but it is a necessary one. 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

Friday, February 19, 2016

God's way of working

My Dad has been saying for months how he wishes he could spend more time with the babies so that they know him... Well God has a way of working things out. 

Right before New Years, my dad's hot water tank sprung a leak and water went everywhere in his house.  We called in Servpro and had it cleaned up and then the insurance company had contractors come out to replace all the damaged areas.  This was a living hell for my dad. He hates change and he hates paying money. Well that is something that happened here.. change and paying money (deductible).  

While Servpro was drying up and cleaning out the damaged areas, my dad came to stay a few nights with us.  
Last week when the contractors were working on certain rooms in his house, my dad came to stay with us.  And this week as the contractors were finishing up certain rooms, my dad came to stay with us.  

And during this time... he got to spend a lot of time with his grandbabies.  
He got to have sleepovers with the big girls as they stayed up with him and watched tv and then fell asleep with him on the couch. He got to talk sports with his only grandson daily. He got to cuddle with two adorable babies every morning he was there. And he got to be the one my Madybear (18mo old) would sneak out to in the middle of the night or early morning to snuggle with on the couch.   God answered his prayer. 




Yea, this time was rough on occasion... but God used what was a bad incident and turned it into something great... even an answered prayer. 

How many times have we prayed about something and then an accident occurs? We are normally so focused on the negative aspect of it that we forget to look for the blessings that come along with it- and that answered prayer.  

God doesn't always just "poof" here's your answer. Sometimes he works those answers into struggles that you are going through.  So the next time you are struggling with something... be patient, take a deep breath and remember to look for the blessings that may be in that struggle... and remember to always look back and figure out what lessons He was trying to teach. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Not having it all together

I seriously am so far from having it all together that I feel like I am losing my mind lately! 

#Mommyfail #1 today... 

I had an appoint this morning for Lilybee for developmental therapy. Yeah... Completely forgot about it. Completely. Total. Mind. Slipped.  

I traded days for work. I took yesterday off since the kids were off school and Madybear had a doctors appointment and planned on coming in today.  I double checked the calendar to make sure nothing was going on today and I thought it was all clear.  

I get almost all the way into work... with no kids... and I get a call from the DT person and yeah- Light Bulb! I remembered it was the 16th and I had an appointment at 8:30 with her! 

*sigh* 

I don't know how moms of more than one kid do it. 

Anymore I am lucky I remember to put underware on in the mornings! Seriously. My brain is that spastic lately!  My days are all jumbled, I am lucky if I remember what day it actually is.  I am trying to remember everything that needs done for all 5 kids, my husband, my father and myself. 

I was all excited this morning because I knew what I was going to cook for dinner tonight. Was going to stop on my way to work to get all the items, even had tomorrow's dinner planned out... and then I get the call and that happy little bubble burst- raining down on me. 

OH Well. Tis life anymore it seems! lol. 

Guess I need to make better ToDo lists and put 15 calendars around the house with everything on them so that way I can remember what day it is and when I have something scheduled. 

Happy Mond... eerrr... I mean Tuesday Ya'll! 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama