Dancing Baby

Just a little something to put a smile on your face for today! 

My girl sure does love to dance!! lol 

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama 

Downward spiral of depression and anxiety

Today, This is my sanity. I put my problems down at the foot of Jesus.

Yesterday was a rough day. My husband and I didn't get along the greatest. We were trying to do something and it seemed like anything that could go wrong- DID.  

Out of frustration, my husband said something. I didn't hear exactly what he said, but I read his lips. I thought he said one thing... He swears he said something else.  But that sent me into a downward spiral of depression and anxiety that I am still in today. 

Today I am just feeling like a failure. I am feeling like I can not do anything right. 

Today I need to lay it all down. Let Jesus take control for the insurities and the negativity. I need to lay down my problems because I can no solve them on my own. I can only do this with Christ by my side. 

I love the days I work at the church. I can take a few minutes and just be. I can take my praises and my problems to the alter and lay it all out there. I can thank God for the blessings and ask for help with a problem or ask for forgiveness.  I know I can do this anywhere, but being able to do it in the house of God, at the alter, just does something to my heart and my soul. 

I look forward to these moments. I long for these moments. 

I know with God's help, I will get through everything. 

I know with God's help- everything will work out one way or another and will be ok. 

God has blessed me in so many ways. I need to focus on the blessings and not the negativity. I need to not let the bad moods of others effect my overall well being. I need to keep my focus on Christ and bettering myself for HIM and not on my failures.  

Lord, thank you for giving me the opportunity to come and lay my burdens down at your feet. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share You with the world. Please continue to be there with me through the dark moments and shine Your light on the shadows that surround me. In Jesus' name. Amen. 

Blessings N Love 

Overthinking Mama 

Mornings with Girls

This is my morning with my two girls. 
They are mad at me. 
I made them go to school. 
I made get out of bed. 
I made them get dressed. 

Renbug is mad at me because she couldn't find the salt shaker for her snack she was packing today and I told her that she needed to hurry up. So she got discouraged and just left with out it.  

Samipooh is mad because she didn't want to get up today. 

Neither talked to me on the way to school. Neither barely acknowledged me as they got out and went into school.  

It breaks my heart that they feel like this before school.

It breaks my heart that nothing I do makes it better but does seem to make it work. 

I know this is all part of life... they are growing girls... 8 and 10. They are becoming young ladies and I know as the years pass this will get more intense as their bodies change. 

I need to just love them, support them, and be there for them.  

Its hard and it hurts my heart for them. I say a prayer for them everyday and I know that God is with them through out their day- so I know that they are not alone.  

Blessings N Love 
Overthinking Mama 

Real Life

Someone posted the other day on facebook: Do Not compare your life to highlights of someone else's life.  Or something like that. lol 

That really had me thinking...  most people don't post the real life struggles of life. They post the cute, loving pics that show how great their life is. We don't want people to think our live is stressful or hard or lets face it- real. 

So I wanted to show you the real moments of my life. 

Today the kids had a snow day... my sitter couldn't come. So I had to attempt to work from home today... anyone with 2 toddler's knows how fun that is... add into a couple older girls who fight well like sisters... and that makes things so much more easier. *insert sarcasim* 

I see others post about them working from home with these cute little offices decorated perfectly... 
This is my office for the day... and if I need to take a call.. I have to go fun into my bedroom and lock the door and hope and pray that the kids don't come banging on it. lol

kitchen table, laundry piled up, and the evil eye given by my cat. 

my view on the other side. baby playing on phone... and dirty floors. 

my work partner... who every 5 minutes pushes the wrong something on the phone and needs me to fix it.

my view. dirty floors. dirty dishes. dirty. 

And in a few minutes... everyone is crying and wanting attention. lol.  Never a dull moment around here. But I wouldn't give it up for anything. I have been so blessed with 5 beautiful children. They may drive me crazy but they are mine. 

 

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama 

Saturday Morning

Everyone is still sleeping. This is a very rare occurance around here. Normally LilyBee is up at the buttcrack of dawn and then the big girls soon after that.
Today, I was the one up at the butt crack of dawn. lol. I have a sinus infection. ugh. I woke up with a horrible headache, my nose all stuffed and running! Plus a nice crusted shell around my nose from where it apparently ran all night long.

The urgent care opens up at 10am... I will be there at 10:01am. lol. I have had symptoms for a couple weeks now.. but its to the point where its affecting my head and making it hurt... so its time to do something. I am a baby when it comes to headaches. lol.

One good thing about being up this early is that I get some quiet time with God. I don't get that often, at least not with out someone saying mommy mommy mommy... over and over again.lol (it is worth it tho)

This was in the devotional I was reading this morning.  It fills my heart knowing that God loves me. Knowing that God loved me first. God loves me now. God loves me always and God will love me last.  He loved me before I was even formed in my mother's womb. He loved me before my mom even thought about having a baby girl. He loved me before my mom was even born. Can you imagine a love so great?? It is such a hard concept for us to even comprehend... Our earthly minds and hearts can't feel a love like that for someone else... but God loves us more than we will ever understand. God loves us more. 

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama 

chains

I am loving having a new and my very own laptop.
This is the first time in years where I can turn my worship music on... put my headphones in, turn it up and just get lost in the song. I want to say the last time I was able to do this I was pregnant with Madybear... so almost 3 years ago!!
I don't know. There is something about just being able to block out every single noise going on around me and just drowning my mind and my spirit in to music.

This is what I am currently listening to.. One of my favorite songs. It hits deep with in my soul... my mind.. my heart.




I first heard this song probably 5 years ago at church. It spoke to me so much. It brought me to tears. 

We are bound up by so many chains. Chains we don't even realize. Chains we put on our self.  Chains of unworthiness. Chains of doubt. Chains of feeling unloved. Chains of despair. Chains of negativity. Chains of guilt.   
These are the devils lies. Lies to keep you from being your full potential. Lies to keep you from Christ. Lies to keep you down and to keep you in the devils court.  Lies. Lies. Lies. 

There is power in the name of Jesus. 

Jesus gave up his life. He shed his blood so that these chains could be broke. His sacrifice took the power of the devil away from us. He took the hold the devil had on us away. We just have to believe in our hearts that. We have to believe that Jesus gave it all for us. It says we have to believe in our hearts and speak with our mouths and we will be saved. (Romans 10:10) The chains will be broken. 

We just have to have faith.  God loves you. You are special. You deserve those chains to be broken. 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama