Monday, January 19, 2009

2 IN ONE - CIRCLE AND BROKEN

Yesterday my pastor gave a wonderful sermon. He talked about so much that hit so close to my own heart that I wanted to share at least one part of it... and if He deems needed, I will continue on to the other part...
He was talking about him and his wife... when they first met, I guess they were having issues and weren't sure if they were right for each other or ment to be. (at least this is the way I understood it). But he went on to talk about how his wife was praying one day. Praying for guidence, praying for knowledge, praying for her and him... and she had a vision of a circle... God spoke to her. She seen herself and our paster on the outside of this circle, and God on the inside. God told her that the shortest distance to our pastor was straight across the circle- thru God. They could each keep trying to go around the circle - the long way around- and it would take forever -to reach each other fully- if they even made it that far... They only way they would truely and fully come together is thru God. If they both weren't in the center of that circle, if they weren't in God then they would have a long distance to each other to make the relationship work. They needed to find God first.
A quote that I love is : A woman's heart should be so hidden in God, that a man must first find God and know Him before he can find her heart. And the same thing goes the other way too... Each person's heart should be so hidden in God that no one can get to it unless they are hidden in God also.
I love this picture... the only way to true love, a good solid relationship is thru the center of the circle... thru God.

Ok.. the second part of this message is about brokeness. Our Paston was telling us about when he was younger how he had broken his wrist. And how he was feeling miserable because of it, in pain, couldnt do what he wanted to do etc... But he was also told that once the bone healed, it would be stronger than before he broke it. That is also true for us humans. When we are down, and feel broken, not worthy- God is there mending our wound and makeing us stronger (what doesn't kills us only make us stronger).

I know when I was dating my daughter's father... it was really hard for me. I loved this man whole heart and soul... more than I should have. And I know he loved me too but had his demons and couldn't show me the love than I needed... when we finally split up the 2nd time- it devestated me... it broke me. I felt worthless, unloved, like I had been fighting for nothing... over the next few months that followed that I faught with depression, didn't eat, didn't sleep... was on a roller coaster of emotions because of this man- one day he wanted me the next not... And one night, I was at my lowest... was so depressed, felt like I was worthless, like no one loved me, like I was completely alone in this world (now before certain people start leaving my comments that I wasnt- I know I wasn't alone that I did have friends and family but at 11oclock on a work night I am not going to start calling up people that I knew didnt understand where I was at or where I was coming from)... I was broken. And I called out to the Lord... I was on my knees, I apologized for my sins, I asked Jesus Christ in to my heart , my soul, my life.... and I became stronger. I was able to stand up to the man that hurt me so bad, I was able to start healing (which even to this day a year later, I still am not totally healed) I was stronger... because I was first broken.
When your sprit is broken- know the God is there, wanting to mend you, wanting to heal you, to make you stronger- You just have to let Him in.

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