Monday, December 14, 2015

The weekend

This past weekend was pretty good!  Nothing overly exciting happened, but overall it was good. 

Friday night we went to Home Depot to just look around and Mady absolutely loved it!!! She didn't want to leave the Christmas section. She kept running back over to there and didn't even care one bit that we weren't with her!  That girl is going to be a handful!! lol

Saturday, my hubby was off work so we were able to spend the day together... Christmas shopping.  The big girls went to Grami's to stay the night and the hubs and I got to spend time with the babies. We watched a couple movies and wrapped the big girls gifts.  

Sunday Hubs had to work. He got to take pictures of Santa and all the customers that came into the store.  The girls and I went shopping with Grami and then the girls and I went to hubs store and got their picture taken with santa. (see above)  
After Hubs got home from work- we went to my moms for dinner and then home again. 

Nothing too exciting, but it was a good weekend together! 

Hope yours was lovely! 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Realization Friday- on a saturday

This week I have come to realize:

~ That its December in Ohio... and I have seen at least 4 people out mowing their lawn. This Is Not Normal.

~ That it takes kids 6x as long to clean something as it would me.

~ The above statement is the reason why I just clean stuff up most of the time! 

~ The house is only clean when no one is home, including animals. 

~ That I need to stop and realize that the special moments that annoy me... I really should be savoring because one day I won't have those moments. 

~ That God is so good!!  

~ That being broke really sucks... but its making me think more creatively for Christmas.

~ I really hate that we don't have the money to get our family anything hardly for Christmas. Our family has done so much, helped so much and just always been there when we needed it and it really sucks that at this time of year we can give them something back. 

Well that's all for this week!! 

Have a great weekend!! 

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

Monday, December 7, 2015

A December to Remember-Part 1

Our December to Remember starts on Thanksgiving! We try and stay busy with different Christmas activities until actual Christmas!  

Celebrating Renbugs 9th birthday! Where did the time go?? 

These were from just One day!!  We went and had Tea with Grami (my mom) for Renbugs birthday. Its a tradition we have been doing for years now.  Afterwards we went out to Cleveland for their tree lighting and then we went to the Carlisle Reservation for the Holiday walk and train ride.  It was such a fun and wonderful day!  We defenetly were exhausted by the time we went to bed! 

Madybear loves our Elf!! 

Admiring the Christmas tree... in toddler talk- trying to figure out which ornament to play with first! 
It really was an amazing day!!  Really hoping the girls remember it all for years to come!!! 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Wednesday, December 2, 2015


I have been trying for the last hour to upload pics so that I could write a nice long blog post... but ugh!!! of course my computer is running super duper slow, and I have run out of time. 

Stay tuned for that nice post! lol!- A December to Remember!

Today is a crazy hectic day. I start my 4th job today. lol. Yes that is right, I said 4!!!  And I am working 3 of them today!! 

First its the church... then to the office of another where I am starting today- going to be doing marketing or something- still not sure about all the details. And then tonight at the grocery store my husband works at- I work in the bakery.  *phew* a long day. But my babies and family is worth it. Ya do what ya have to do in order to have a decent Christmas!  

Things have been hectic and crazy and I have been an emotional wreck lately. But I know God's got this! And everything will be alright!! 

Anywho- I need to head off to the next place... 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Wednesday, November 18, 2015


I am not really sure what is going on with me this week.
I have no energy. No motivation. I seriously just want to sleep. I feel so overwhelmed with everything in life right now.
I just started a second part time job. Its in the evenings. So my hubby will be home with the kids while I am at work. I already dread it, and its only been one day!  I don't know whats going on with me.
I just want to curl up into a ball and bawl my eyes out.
Just seems like lately its one thing after another after another.  Always something coming apart or not working out right! I just want to scream!  I so need a break or a vacation or something!!!
I feel like all I do is work and clean.
I feel like a failure in everything that I do. I can't provide enough for my family anymore.  Even with working 3 jobs... and doing all the "home party" businesses... just doesn't seem to be enough.
I am just so frustrated. I feel like there is no end.
I seriously just want to sleep the days away. :-(

Wednesday, September 2, 2015


I have been wanting to write something for the longest... but each time, I can't figure out what I want to write.  Same thing with today... I have no idea what to write. But I figured that I would at least sit down and start typing and hope that something just comes out. 

The kids have started back to school this week. Man has the time flown by!!! Summer went by so quick and yet there is a part of me that is relieved that school is back in. We are back on a set schedule and maybe- just maybe I can keep my house just a little bit cleaner (doubt it) since my two big girls are like walking tornados! lol  

It's hard to believe that my first born is a 8th grader this year... Next Year- HIGH SCHOOL!!!!  It just seems unreal. Before I know it Baby Lily will be in high school and I will probably have grandbabies!!! 

First day of school went pretty good for all the kids. Ren said it was random. lol whatever that means. Sami got put on the wrong bus, apparently they didn't update their information in the last 2 years and she was sent home to her previous address before she came to live with us!! I was so ticked off!!!! I seriously was almost in tears! 

My husbands great-aunt passed away Tuesday morning so my whole week has been throw off with that. My husband and his family have been in my thoughts all week.  I was supposed to meet with a lady today about signing up with Tealightful... but I completely forgot. UGH! Hopefully will be able to catch up next week. 

I have been trying to go through everything in our house and downsize!!! We just have way way way too much stuff with all the kids... and its just too much in our little house.  
My mom and I have been talking about opening up a thrift store... so hopefully I will be able to put all the extra stuff I have aside to get that started up.  I have been posting a lot of it on Facebook trying to sell it... but that hasn't worked out too well. :-( 

Alright... I need to get back to finishing up everything that needs done!! 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

After the birth...

Well I had my baby girl on June 15!  I will be posting her birth story here in the next few days... I may also post my other babies birth stories also.... :-) 

Today I want to mention all the wonderful things not every one tells you about when/after you have a baby!!! 

First- right after you have your baby... you are not done. You still have to deliver the placenta. And if you have difficulty doing this- the doc shoves her hand up inside of you elbow deep and tried to help pull that lovely sucker out.  Nothing feels better than having an arm shoved up inside of you in a place that you never really thought an arm could go... and doing it with out anesthesia or pain meds... is oh so much better. 

Second- every time you stand up or go to the bathroom- you will pass clots... some small and barely noticeable, some huge like the size of your fist.  It was music to my ears every time I sat down on the toilet and hear plomp plomp plomp and looked in and saw this huge liver looking chunk floating or sinking in my pee.  Also greatness is when you go to stand up and you have gush of blood decide to come flowing out like a waterfall... soaking the whole pad and your gown and your leg and the floor.  And the pads??!!! Yea they are for a giant!!!  Between the "special" underwear they give you that looks more like a fishnet and the huge pads that are big enough i could have wrapped my baby like a burrito in and still had room left over- you feel like you are wearing a diaper... a not very secure diaper cuz obviously you leak right out of it. 

Third- when you are breast feeding or even just pumping... It feels like someone is ripping the nipple right off of your breast. They say you will get used to it and it won't hurt for that long... I didn't wait to find out. I switched to bottle feeding. 

Fourth- Your tummy will still look like you are pregnant at least a week or two after you have the baby... and best believe, it will be pointed out that you still look pregnant or questioned if you are pregnant. My husband and my 8year old daughter are great at that!  At least once a day I got the whole you still look pregnant mommy and then she would poke my tummy.  Thanks dear. I go from feeling like I have an overgrown watermelon in my stomach to a mushy cantaloupe and nothing is actually in there anymore. 

Fifth- A few days after you give birth- your milk will come in...  this means your boobs will grow about 2-3 cup sizes and be as hard as a rock.  It will hurt like you have never felt before. If you can actually sleep during this excruciating pain- when you wake up your boobs will be shaped in whatever position you slept in. You can take your bra off and your boobs will not move. at. all.  Other than the swollen nipples and the leaking nipples- you could actually go bra less... I mean if it didn't hurt to even put a shirt on.  Oh and best believe your husband or significant other will think its hilarious to poke, squeeze or try to jiggle them... even tho it feels like he is ripping them off. Its hilarious!!! Oh and this will last 24-48hours!!! So enjoyable. 

That is all I can think of right now... oh that's another thing... the mommy brain starts to set in... where it takes you 5 minutes to complete a sentence because you can't remember the words that you were just going to say.  Everything takes a few extra minutes to think of... you call your kids all by the wrong names... and trust me a 13year old boy doesn't like to be called by his baby sisters name... or the dogs. lol.  Neither does your husband! 

Showering, doing your hair or make up, or even just eating a whole meal is a luxury... so is sleeping. 

But when its all said and done... I wouldn't trade any of it...  Nothing is greater than holding my baby and looking into her eyes and feeling that intense love that only a mother can feel. 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Thursday, June 11, 2015

almost there

Almost there. Only a few more days and I will be induced. I am counting down the days. I am exhausted, uncomfortable, in a crabby mood, and just overall done.

I am really hoping that once I have this baby... my mood will start to go back to normal. I am so tired of being tired. I am so tired of feeling crabby all the time. I seriously would love to just sleep the days away. It would be easier than dealing with life right now.

I keep hoping that if I can get my house cleaned up... I will feel better... yet... I can't seem to get it cleaned. I have no energy or motivation. It just seems like too much work!!  I will start and then I have to take a break because I am tired or hurting... and then I want a nap.  

I know God is with me. I know He is guiding me. I know He is carrying me along when I need it.
Only a few more days. And then there will be a whole new set of obsticals to overcome...

I am scared to death with having two babies!! Two sets of diapers... bottles... crying!!!  Along with 2 little girls who are at the stage where they want to argue with each other and a teenage boy. (need I say more about him!)

I have been up and out of bed for an hour... ONE HOUR and I am already ready for a nap. I woke up at 4am and cleaned the family room a little, and the kitchen a little. I couldnt do too much since I had two little girls sleeping on the couch.

Alright... I am going to get off here, Do some laundry... dishes... cleaning. Fun. Fun. Fun.

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

2 more weeks

I have less than two weeks left till I will be induced... and I am so done!!! I don't know if I will be able to make it till the 15th with out losing my mind!!!   

I am exhausted... in every single possible way... 

I haven't hardly slept at all the last 2 weeks. 
I don't have much of an appetite.
I am having contractions like crazy. 
It hurts whenever the baby moves. 
My house is trashed. I have no energy to clean. 
I feel like a failure in so many ways. 
I have no patience. I am wanting to go off on everyone all the time. I am so frustrated.  
I am miserable. 

There is a big part of me that wants to go to the hospital and beg them to induce me. I am that miserable. I just want to not be uncomfortable anymore. I want to feel somewhat normal. I want to be able to do a load of laundry with out straining and being in pain.   I beg God every single day to let my water break. 

I know its all in his timing. I am trying to have patience... but right now... I think my patience is hiding from me till the baby is born! lol

I am trying to figure out what to do when I get off work and go home... nap or clean. 

Big B started remodeling the girls room yesterday... its a big ole mess... Idk when he will actually finish it... but as of right now... the girls can't sleep in there... I can't put anything in there.. I can't do anything.  
Our church blessed us with so many diapers and wipes and baby items.. and they are all sitting out in my family room. I can't even put them away.  I want to go crazy!!! 

I just feel like its a never ending battle. One I use all my energy to "almost" complete... just to be back at the begining again.   Ugh!!! 

2 more weeks... 

2 more weeks... 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

Thursday, May 7, 2015


Lately I have been struggling with confidence.  I feel like a failure on a daily basis. I feel like my kids aren't happy with me... like my husband isn't happy with me. I feel like I am not good enough for any of them. I feel like I always fail them... the clothes aren't all cleaned and put away. I forgot to sign their homework the night before. I overslept and now they are late for school. I burnt dinner. I didn't get the house cleaned. I don't work enough and bring in enough money.  I constantly feel like I am falling short of what my family expects of me. 
I am only one person.  I can only do so much in a days time. Having 4 kids, being prego, working part time, trying to run a home party business, take care of 3 dogs who don't know the difference of the grass and my family room floor can wear a person out. 
I am wore out. 
Today is the first time in I couldn't even tell you how long since I have had quiet time in the morning with God. I really need to get back into this. I used to do this every single morning and it made such a big difference in my days!  
I was reading this morning Hebrews 13:6- The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? and Hebrews 10:35-36- So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 
Every time I throw away my confidence, I throw away the power that could have been mine if I chose to live in the security of God's promises instead of the insecurity of my doubts.  (Renee Swope-Encouragement for Today devotional)
I live in self doubt. I live in sadness and feeling not good enough. What joy am I missing out of by focusing on what I can not do rather than what I can do?? 

What are you struggling with?? 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Monday, April 20, 2015

At my whits end!!

I seriously feel like I am going insane!!! 

I am so tired of crying every single day. 

I feel like I am not good enough. Like I can't keep up. I feel like all I do is complain and yell at my kids and husband.  I am so tired of so many things. I am tired physically. I am tired emotionally. I am tired mentally. I don't know what to do anymore.  And I feel like no one really cares. 
I feel like I am constantly having to tell my kids over and over and over and over again to do something AND if they actually do it, its so half @ssed that I should have just done it myself in the first place!!  
I am exhausted with having to repeat myself. 

I need a vacation!  

I need help..

I feel like I am being pulled in so many different directions. That everyone expects me to be this super mom/wife and I am only one person.  I can't do it all. 

I almost feel like I need to quit my job just so I have more time to take care of everything at home! Right now I don't have the time and energy! 

The sink is over flowing in dirty dishes. The laundry hamper is over flowing in dirty clothes... the other laundry basket still has clean clothes in it from last week.  No one took the dogs out last night before bed so there was lovely accidents all over the house that I have to clean up because if I don't... they stay there.  The big dog tore up everything in our kitchen, I asked the girls to clean it up last night... yea it didnt get done so I will have to worry about it when I get home.  The whole house looks like a tornado went through it. No one picks up after themselves or anyone else for that matter... everyone would walk over something on the floor a million times before they would actually pick it up!  I feel like I am going crazy. 

This is how my morning went today: 
Wake up to Mady crying... hope she settles down so I don't have to get up... After about 15/20 mins she does. She wasn't crying, just more babbling and whimpering here and there.   Bout 30mins after that finally fall back asleep. 
Wake up to alarm. Get up and go potty- let the dogs outside... walk over 3 puddles of pee and 2 piles of poop. Clean up all. Call the girls and Pey to get up and get ready... Call them at least 4 more times before I see them out of bed.  Tell the girls to get their hair brushed... they can't find any brushes.  Finally found one as we are walking out the door... but before we can do that... Ren informs me that the dog at her shoes... and she doesn't have anymore to wear. I look at them... they aint that bad, she can still wear them.  Sami then can't find her shoes... so I finally found a pair she can wear and we head out the door.  I tell the kids that things have to change around the house. I can't do everything alone!!!  And Pey pipes up- I help out, I don't make a mess. I lost it.  I start crying and telling them they need to help each other and me more!!! I can't do it alone.  Sami starts complaining cuz Ren is taking too long brushing her hair and they only have one brush.  Finally get the boy off to school and go and wait at the bus stop... get the girls on the bus.... head home. Try and pick up some thing around the house and see that the dog chewed up a couple diapers on the couch. ugh. more to clean up. Wait for Grandma to get there. Seriously embarrassed cuz of how my house looks. Realize I left all my tea stuff in Hubby's car and so I can't do anything regarding that today.  Grandma gets there and I say my good byes and I head off to work.  Get to work and am told that the dog ( I brought into work last sat) has pooped in the church. Lovely. I took her out while she was here. Every time I looked up- she was right here!!    The highlight of the morning so far is when my hubby text me that he loved me.  

I am exhausted. My back is killing me. My stomach is so uncomfortable. I am having contractions off and on which tires me out too. I just need a break. 

Anywho. we are going to have a family meeting tonight hopefully... and hopefully things will change cuz I can't keep going on like this!! We shall see... Say a prayer for me. 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

Monday, March 2, 2015

Monday :-)

Need I say more?

It started off as any other Monday. lol Last minute text from the Hubby saying that I needed to take MadyBear over to Grandmas this morning instead of her coming here. *sigh* so that meant, packing her bag for the day, getting her coat on, making a bottle, finding her hat, get her into the car, lugging her old car seat along since we just got her a new one and its a pain in the butt to get in and out of a car.  SamiPooh woke up great this morning. Which is odd... normally she's the one I have to go in at least 5 or 6x before she even wakes ups. RenBug tho who is normally great at getting up- was a whole other story. She just wanted to stay in my bed. (where she ended up at about 2am after the dog barked like crazy and seeing her head pop up at the end of my bed about scared me to death). Pey Pey of course waited till the last minute to give me a form that needed filled out for him to play dodgeball in a couple weekends. Then he was mad because the I didnt have exactly $10.00 to give him to play. I had $20. but he swore up and down there was no way he could get change at all. So him being the lovely stubborn kid his is... He took nothing!  Oh well! 
I got into work early though which was a good thing!  Maybe I'll be able to leave a little early. :-) 

Something that has been on my mind the last few days is homeschooling my kids.  I don't know its something that God has placed on my heart.  I don't know if I could even handle it! I don't know if my kids could even handle it. I don't know. I think in a lot of ways it will be better for them. I will be able to teach them more about Jesus and the bible. I feel God pulling me closer to Him... and I want to be able to share that with my kids as much as I possibly can. And honestly with them being in school now then homework when they get home... its hard to have the time and the energy to do that. :-( 

We started going to a new church a few weeks ago... and the kids Love it so much more than our old one. I like it too...  I like that I can relate to the pastors. That the pastors aren't perfect. They have been divorced. Have kids from previous relationships. Right now I feel like its somewhere good to bed.  The Hubby doesn't feel exactly the same. The worship at the new church isn't as great as our old church and that is something that we both Loved and craved.  :-( I guess time will tell where we stay/go. One thing I aboslutely loved, was this past Sunday when I went to go pick up Renbug from Kids church... they were praying... all together in a circle group... heads down.. holding each other... praying. I NEVER saw that at my old church. I feel like God is a priority here where at the other one... He wasn't. 

I am starting at Tealightful Tea as a consultant. I had a "host to launch" party last week (where I have a part to help pay for my starter kit) and it was absolutely amazing!!!! I had more people show up for this party than I have probably for the last years worth put together!!!  And it was snowy and cold out and they still came!!!  Plus I have two parties booked and a couple more people interested in having a party!!! I am so excited!!!  I really hope that this works out great because we really could use the money and in the long run I think it would help me be a full time stay at home mom!  

Well... I think that is most of whats been happening lately... 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

Tuesday, February 17, 2015


Well I am 22 weeks pregnant! Over half way there.  I will be so happy when I start having a little bit more energy.  This whole wanting to sleep all the time, is getting old. :-(  
We are having another beautiful baby girl! Haven't decided on a name yet. Hopefully by the time she is born we will have something figured out! lol

We found out on Saturday that Big B and I were granted full custody for Sami-pooh!  We both are so happy about it. It really feels like that was a weight lifted off my shoulders finally knowing something. And honestly Sami-pooh seemed a little bit chipper too after we told her the news.  I couldn't imagine my life with out that little girl. 
I am trying to think of whatever to share...

Nothing really new has happened lately.  Big B and I are both still working the same jobs we have been.  We are in the process of looking for a new vehicle. Debating on if we should get a big passenger van or just a regular 3rd row vehicle. In June we will have 5 kids. That pretty much means that we can't take anyone else any where with us, if we have all the kids.  But the gas for the bigger van would kill us. So I don't know what we will do. I am leaving it all in God's hands. 

Big B is wanting to have more kids. He really wants to have a boy. I have mixed feelings. I am exhausted with being pregnant.  Yet there is still a part of me that can't imagine never being pregnant again.  A lot of things will have to change tho, if we do end up having another baby or two... a bigger vehicle, a bigger house, a better pay for Big B, some way for me supplement our income without having to be away from the babies all too much. Neither of us want to put the kids in day care, but I am not sure if our current baby sitters (grandparents) could handle 2-3 little ones all at once... not to mention during the summer having 3 bigger ones running around crazy. lol. 
We were joking yesterday that I need to change the name of my blog to 5 kids and counting or something like that. lol.  Guess we are trying to keep up with the Duggars! haha. 

I know I have mentioned in previous posts about feeling like God is calling me to do something but I can't completely figure out what it is... I am having that feeling again... and once again, I really don't know. One thing that has been on my heart lately is becoming a Pastor.  I am not really sure where to start with that... but I am thinking maybe that is something that I need to look into. We were at my uncles funeral yesterday and it was done at a Catholic church. While we were sitting there I remembered how when I was younger and in catholic school, I would come home and play "mass". I was the priest and I would go through all the different aspects of mass.  I knew I would never be a priest but I loved the thought of that...  so maybe it was a sign of what was to be??   I am going to pray on it and see what all happens. :-) 

I need to start making notes of what I want to blog about... I have thought of so many things I want to write about and now that I am actually sitting down, I can't think of anything.  GGRRR.

Alright I am going to close and maybe write more tomorrow or sometime soon. 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Friday, January 16, 2015


Luke 6:36- You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.

This was the scripture for the Praying Wife that was sent today. I will be completely honest. Some days I lack the compassion that my husband needs. I lack the compassion that my children need. Some days I am just so tired and so overwhelmed I just don’t have the energy to do anything other than just survive. I know this isn’t the way that the Lord wants me to be. I pray for energy, patience, compassion to my family, my friends, my children and to my husband.  But how can I give compassion to someone who doesn’t show it to me? I know I should be like Jesus and love everyone, but I am only human and sometimes its hard to overlook how hurt I feel towards someone to give them the love that they need. This is something that I do need to work on. 
I am really looking forward to this bible study. I want to be the best wife possible. I want to be everything that my husband needs so that he wont feel the need to look elsewhere. I want to make my Father proud of the woman I am… the woman he created.

Lately I have felt so far away from God. I still pray. I still believe… I just don’t feel the closeness like I used. I used to crave going to church on Sundays. I used to crave my morning time with God. And lately, I just have no motivation. I hate it. I am so worn out. I need to be reenergized but I don’t know how exactly to do that. I want to shine with Jesus’ love. I want people to look at me and think “wow, she is so in love with Jesus”.  I need to get back into doing the things I used to, the things that made me so happy. 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama