Friday, April 28, 2017

Realization Friday 4/28/17

It's finally Friday! 

And I slacked last week with my post... but I am on it today!!! 

This week I have come to realize:

~ that I am the one in control of my happiness

~ that when I plan something- it normally won't happen like I plan

~ that my dog is an amazing escape artist! 

~ that I now have summer allergies

~ that Google is my best friend

~ that My God is an Awesome God

~ that singing too much will cause a sore throat

~ that I am extremely nervous- but God's got this!! 

That's it for this week... if you would like your realization added to the list for the next post- Send me an email to:

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Taking Control of my Happiness

I have decided to take life my horns and make it better. 

I am tired of being tired and depressed all the time. 

In a way... my dad passing was a bit of a wake up call. He was too young. I know he was in pain and I am sure it was a relief to him when it was over.  But still.  

It made me stop and really take a look at his life and mine. He was always in pain. He had heart problems. He had diabetes. He had scorisis. He had drop foot and had ligaments in his ankle that were deteriorating so he had to always wear this space boot looking thing. He had back issues and always had to be on some kind of pain meds.  He had arthritis every where. lol  

I don't want that to be me one day. I don't want to be in that much pain. 

So back in January I started seeing a counselor/therapist.  He is amazing. He is almost as old as my dad and is in amazing shape. He is an inspiration!  

So in the last few months I have been trying to better myself. 
I have started going to the gym. - not as often as I would like or as I should but hey... I am going. 
I gave up meat for lent. - not just on fridays but everyday. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. I started eating it again this week. And I am just whatever about it. lol
I am trying to cut back and eventually give up carbs and sugars. This is going to be a very hard one for me. I love my breads, pastas, potatoes and chocolate!  
I am going to eliminate soda. I had gave that up for lent also- which was harder than the meat!! I have had some this week. But I really need to not. 
I am trying to have a different mindset with myself and my life. 

I need to focus on the good things in my life. I am in good health. I have a great family. I have a couple of good jobs. My animals love me. My kids love me. My husband loves me. and My family loves me.  
I need to learn to do what I can. Everything doesn't need to be perfect. My house always doesn't have to be spotless. It doesn't mean that I am any less of a person or woman or wife or mother. It is what it is. I do the best I can, and if its not good enough for someone- oh well! 
thinks I am wonderfully made- He Made Me!! 

I have felt a calling to help lead worship at the churches I have gone to... But my fear of being in front of people always held me back... but I never lost that calling... So I offered myself to the church I work for to lead a contemporary worship service one sunday a month. I am scared to death. But I will be ok. It will work out alright.. even if I make a complete fool of myself. I will be ok.  

I also went yesterday and signed up for classes at the community college!! And I actually have a plan and a goal. I am first going for a bookkeeping certificate and then will go for my associates in accounting!  I am excited and scared. But I can do it. I need to do it. I need to better myself. 

So yea... that is what is going on right now. I am going to make myself better. My life better. I want my  kids to look at their mom and not just see a crabby exhausted mom all the time. I want to them look up to me. I want to be an inspiration and motivator to my kids.  

Wish me luck and say a prayer for me.  

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

The Struggle is Real

Its Tuesday. Its almost 7pm. And right now, all I want to do is go to bed. 

The struggle is real. 

My kitchen sink is over flowing with dishes and I refuse to clean them since I am not the one who used them. 

The struggle is real. 

There are clothes all over my bedroom floor- majority of which I did not put there and I am dreading having to pick them up and wash all of them. 

The struggle is real. 

I have about 5 baskets of laundry that are clean and need folded that I just don't have the energy to do. 

The struggle is real.

I wanted to go to the gym tonight... but here I am sitting, sipping on my wine and typing up a blog post. 

The struggle is real. 

I am currently sitting outside watching my baby girls playing. My husband fixing the driveway. My dog sunbathing.

I am trying to enjoy the moments of my day and not wish them away. 

I am trying to relax and not let my anxiety get the best of me... which today has been hard. My fingers are paying for it.  I have found every little piece of dry skin and picked and picked and picked till either it hurt or bled or both.  My foot and leg haven't stopped twitching.  And even now as I am trying to just relax... I feel my fingers and want to pick. It takes all I have not to pick them... and then that makes feel even more anxious.  Its like a never ending battle that I can't seem to win.  But I need to try one way or another.  

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Happy Easter!!!!

Happy Easter!!! 

He is Risen! 

Blessings N  Love
Overthinking Mama 

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Realization Friday- a day late.

Finally a Realization Friday post... of course its a day late... story of my life. 

So with out any further adue- 

This week I have come to realize-

That its hard to tell your kids no, it doesn't matter how old they are. 

That having more than one kid is like wrangling monkeys most of the time. 

That sometimes all you need is to go to the gym and sweat it out! 

That whining kids are seriously annoying. 

That the love of a child is heaven. 

That's all for this week.  If you have any realizations you would included in next weeks post, please feel free to email them to me at:

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Tired of being Tired

I am supposed to be working. 

I am supposed to be doing school work. 

But all I want to do is go to sleep... 

I don't know what my problem is these past few weeks. Its like I have no motivation. I have no desire to do anything. All I want to do is sleep. 

I can't concentrate on any one thing.  
Right now on my computer I have work emails open, facebook, this blog, looking up vitamins on 3 different websites, and my classes- all on different tabs. 

I will start out with one, and think of something and go to that. Its like my brain can't finish a thought.

I am also sitting here jittery. I don't think my legs have stopped moving. 

I am just so tired of feeling like this. 

I am tired of always being tired. 

I swear my family thinks I am a big joke and lazy cuz I am always wanting to take a nap. I don't want to nap!!! I don't want to sleep my life away. I want to live life. I want to be active. I want to be apart of my family- not just sleep it away.  And its not like I can just "push" myself through everything. I am exhausted. Most days it feels like I sleep maybe an hour or two- even though I can sleep a full 7-10hrs! Its like I can never get enough sleep. 

I went to the doc about a month ago. And she is amazing. But she couldn't find anything wrong with me. Every single test came back fine that could be a possibility of me being tired. 

I feel like I am crazy. I feel like my family thinks I am crazy. 

I don't want to be like this. I don't know what to do anymore. 

I have so much I want to do and accomplish... and I feel like I can't really because I am always tired.

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Gym time

I have been wanting to write a post all weekend about me going to the gym... but it seemed like it was one thing after another and when I did have a moment to sit down and type something.. I just had no motivation for it.
And even now... I am just like bllaaahhh... but I will press on.

We got a gym membership for Planet Fitness back in the beginning of March... so about a month now.  I want to better myself. I am 35. My dad passed away 8 months ago and he had all kinda of health problems, mainly because he never really took great care of himself. I don't want to be like that. And my therapist (yes, I am seeing a therapist) is a huge inspiration to me.

I had a gym membership about 3 or 4 years ago... I can't remember exactly when I had it... but this time around, everything is so different- I am so different.

When I had the membership before, the first few weeks, I was all about going, as much as I could. Everyone said how great I would feel afterwards, how it would help with my energy. It did the exact opposite. It made me exhausted. When I left the gym, I just wanted to go home and go to sleep.  I didn't feel good, I didn't have a "high", I was completely exhausted. I hated it. I had to force myself to go every time I went... and after a month and half maybe, I just stopped going.  I dreaded going. There was no perks for me to go.  Let alone the fact that I was so self concious that everyone was starting at me and thinking I am crazy or I don't know what I am doing (which was true! I had no clue half the time).

This time around... it so so different. After working out, I feel great! I can't wait to go back again. I can't wait to sweat and feel my mucsules burn afterwards.  I have signed up for two personal training classes and I can't wait to do more!  I still have my anxiety about going... especially going alone... and when I signed up for the first class, not knowing what to expect, I was so nervous that I almost just didn't go. But I am so glad that I did. I felt great afterwards and I am already planning more and more classes to attend. I need that... someone to push me and tell me to keep going- 1 more rep of 12! lol

Its crazy how much a person can change in a short period of time. How I can go from disliking the gym to loving it.  Now if I can just motivate my husband to come with me more often, things would be great!!  

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama