Well its 10pm on Christmas eve and I am sitting here on the computer instead of trying to go to sleep. I know tomorrow will be another long day...
Today was a wonderful day. I was very blessed that I was able to get off work early and able to go and spend the day with my Dad and Stepmom and Step-Step Grandma and brother and of course my kids... then i got to spend the evening with my mom, my stepdad and my brother and my daughter... ( my son was with his father already).
When I was on my way to the restaurant to meet my mom and stepdad.. I was thinking about how wonderful this holiday... How wonderful it is that God cared enough about us to send us his son to save us... to give us hope. And it made me think about all the people out there that think this holiday means nothing... or that its just about santa and getting gifts and food and all the commercialization that has become of Christmas... We dont even say Merry Christmas anymore... its Happy Holidays... its not longer Christmas break.. its winter break... We as humans keep trying to "make everyone happy" and lose the whole Christmas spirit... yet.. if t wasnt for the birth of our Lord SAVIOR Jesus Christ... would there be a holiday to celebrate? or would the 25th of December just be another day that we happen to get together as a family?
why cant we keep Christ in this holiday with out worrying if we offend anyone?? yet dont believe it to be offensive to anyone if we say "Happy Holidays" . Personally, I dont find that offensive... but I am sure that there is somone out there that does... would you care enough to not say it to them?? And at what point will it become that we cant wish anyone any type of holiday greeting with out offending them?? and at what point will we be wrong for celebrating Jesus in any fashion?? is that really what this planet is going to come to??
on a selfish note.... after I came home from all the busyness of today... i started having my own selfish feelings rise up in me... the devil got ahold of my emotions... and brought me down... turned my thoughts over to the fact that I once again am "alone" on Christmas eve... I am still not married... this will be my 3rd Christmas spending it "alone" with my children... neither of their fathers here with us to celebrate... No man here to help me with gifts... or even just to snuggle up on the couch watching a movie waiting for the little ones to go to sleep so we could bring out the "santa gifts" ... Instead I have to do it all by myself...
But I need to realighn my focus... focus on the fact that I am not what this time of year is about... My own selfish wants and needs are not important... God has already blessed me with 2 wonderful lil children that love me and i love them even more... that God has blessed me in more ways than I will ever deserve... and that He has a man out there planned for me... He is still moulding me and that man to be perfect for each other... I know that God has a plan for me and right now that plan is for me to be single... to focus on Him, my walk with him, on my kids and to keep my eyes, my ears and my heart open up to the Him... I need to focus on HIM. period. and that is what this time of year is for...
Tomorrow is not just another holiday in the year... Its not just another birthday of someone whos been long dead and forgotten... Tomorrow is the start of a life... and because of that life... we have hope... we. have. hope... we have a savior... we can be forgiven.
Showing posts with label JESUS CHRIST. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JESUS CHRIST. Show all posts
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
2 IN ONE - CIRCLE AND BROKEN
Yesterday my pastor gave a wonderful sermon. He talked about so much that hit so close to my own heart that I wanted to share at least one part of it... and if He deems needed, I will continue on to the other part...
He was talking about him and his wife... when they first met, I guess they were having issues and weren't sure if they were right for each other or ment to be. (at least this is the way I understood it). But he went on to talk about how his wife was praying one day. Praying for guidence, praying for knowledge, praying for her and him... and she had a vision of a circle... God spoke to her. She seen herself and our paster on the outside of this circle, and God on the inside. God told her that the shortest distance to our pastor was straight across the circle- thru God. They could each keep trying to go around the circle - the long way around- and it would take forever -to reach each other fully- if they even made it that far... They only way they would truely and fully come together is thru God. If they both weren't in the center of that circle, if they weren't in God then they would have a long distance to each other to make the relationship work. They needed to find God first.
A quote that I love is : A woman's heart should be so hidden in God, that a man must first find God and know Him before he can find her heart. And the same thing goes the other way too... Each person's heart should be so hidden in God that no one can get to it unless they are hidden in God also.
I love this picture... the only way to true love, a good solid relationship is thru the center of the circle... thru God.
Ok.. the second part of this message is about brokeness. Our Paston was telling us about when he was younger how he had broken his wrist. And how he was feeling miserable because of it, in pain, couldnt do what he wanted to do etc... But he was also told that once the bone healed, it would be stronger than before he broke it. That is also true for us humans. When we are down, and feel broken, not worthy- God is there mending our wound and makeing us stronger (what doesn't kills us only make us stronger).
I know when I was dating my daughter's father... it was really hard for me. I loved this man whole heart and soul... more than I should have. And I know he loved me too but had his demons and couldn't show me the love than I needed... when we finally split up the 2nd time- it devestated me... it broke me. I felt worthless, unloved, like I had been fighting for nothing... over the next few months that followed that I faught with depression, didn't eat, didn't sleep... was on a roller coaster of emotions because of this man- one day he wanted me the next not... And one night, I was at my lowest... was so depressed, felt like I was worthless, like no one loved me, like I was completely alone in this world (now before certain people start leaving my comments that I wasnt- I know I wasn't alone that I did have friends and family but at 11oclock on a work night I am not going to start calling up people that I knew didnt understand where I was at or where I was coming from)... I was broken. And I called out to the Lord... I was on my knees, I apologized for my sins, I asked Jesus Christ in to my heart , my soul, my life.... and I became stronger. I was able to stand up to the man that hurt me so bad, I was able to start healing (which even to this day a year later, I still am not totally healed) I was stronger... because I was first broken.
When your sprit is broken- know the God is there, wanting to mend you, wanting to heal you, to make you stronger- You just have to let Him in.
He was talking about him and his wife... when they first met, I guess they were having issues and weren't sure if they were right for each other or ment to be. (at least this is the way I understood it). But he went on to talk about how his wife was praying one day. Praying for guidence, praying for knowledge, praying for her and him... and she had a vision of a circle... God spoke to her. She seen herself and our paster on the outside of this circle, and God on the inside. God told her that the shortest distance to our pastor was straight across the circle- thru God. They could each keep trying to go around the circle - the long way around- and it would take forever -to reach each other fully- if they even made it that far... They only way they would truely and fully come together is thru God. If they both weren't in the center of that circle, if they weren't in God then they would have a long distance to each other to make the relationship work. They needed to find God first.
A quote that I love is : A woman's heart should be so hidden in God, that a man must first find God and know Him before he can find her heart. And the same thing goes the other way too... Each person's heart should be so hidden in God that no one can get to it unless they are hidden in God also.
I love this picture... the only way to true love, a good solid relationship is thru the center of the circle... thru God.
Ok.. the second part of this message is about brokeness. Our Paston was telling us about when he was younger how he had broken his wrist. And how he was feeling miserable because of it, in pain, couldnt do what he wanted to do etc... But he was also told that once the bone healed, it would be stronger than before he broke it. That is also true for us humans. When we are down, and feel broken, not worthy- God is there mending our wound and makeing us stronger (what doesn't kills us only make us stronger).
I know when I was dating my daughter's father... it was really hard for me. I loved this man whole heart and soul... more than I should have. And I know he loved me too but had his demons and couldn't show me the love than I needed... when we finally split up the 2nd time- it devestated me... it broke me. I felt worthless, unloved, like I had been fighting for nothing... over the next few months that followed that I faught with depression, didn't eat, didn't sleep... was on a roller coaster of emotions because of this man- one day he wanted me the next not... And one night, I was at my lowest... was so depressed, felt like I was worthless, like no one loved me, like I was completely alone in this world (now before certain people start leaving my comments that I wasnt- I know I wasn't alone that I did have friends and family but at 11oclock on a work night I am not going to start calling up people that I knew didnt understand where I was at or where I was coming from)... I was broken. And I called out to the Lord... I was on my knees, I apologized for my sins, I asked Jesus Christ in to my heart , my soul, my life.... and I became stronger. I was able to stand up to the man that hurt me so bad, I was able to start healing (which even to this day a year later, I still am not totally healed) I was stronger... because I was first broken.
When your sprit is broken- know the God is there, wanting to mend you, wanting to heal you, to make you stronger- You just have to let Him in.
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