Thursday, July 1, 2010


Ive got some things to figure out in my life right now... 

I am at a cross roads... I don't want to really go too much into details on here... but ugh.. some of this is hard...  And one of the choices I have to make is one I have never been good with... :-( but Its one I have to make and no one else. 

I am thinking about going back to school.. My moms really pushing me into doing it. I know I should. I just don't want to fail... and right now... I feel like I would. I feel overwhelmed with my life as it is... Work full time.. Have 2 kids... pretty much my son's dad is the only one that is consistant in the pictured... I work a part time job... I own my own home... by the end of the night... I am exhausted. I don't know if I could handle another thing thrown into the mix.  
And the things I would be interested in.. Ive had pointed out to me.. that there really isn't any end careers for... Psychology, Photography, Journalism. Well sorry.. those are what I am interested in... if I am going to succeed at school.. I at least need it to be something I think I like. Yea, I could go for teaching or nursing or something like that... but if I am not happy with the classes... I will not want to go... and I will fail!   

I feel like I am just kinda going thru the motions of life. Like I am not really enjoying it. I am not completely happy.. I am not NOT happy... but I feel like there is more. Theres more to life and where I am at... just aint it.  I don't know how exactly to explain it. Its almost like I am going around in a fog... Not really wanting to function or deal with real life.  And when I do, its always negatively...  A fight, an argument, a punishment etc. 

I don't know what to change or what to do differently...   

Once thing I have done, is started a pictured blog. Id say photography.. but I am not sure it could be called that since I am not a photographer really... but take a minute and check it out...  God's World through the eyes of one Mama