Saturday, July 3, 2010

Letter to myself

I seen a few other bloggers post something like this on their blogs.. I thought it was a really cute idea... so I am gonna give it a try... 

Dear Me Age 13: 
Wow.. this is the year you are going to try and make up for not being popular for the last few year... make up for being the fat ugly chic all thru Catholic school.. and this is the year when you get to be older... the stories will always start out.. When I was 13.. But dang girl... Do you really have to fit it all in now?! You will have your first kiss by some boy that you didn't know.. and still don't know his name? You will lose your virginity to some boy who promises you he loves you but wont talk to you hardly ever again after that day.  Don't worry you will survive this. You bounce back quickly. You will make friends this year that will last a life time...  stick by them... even if you separate for awhile.. stay friends.
Oh. and PS. wearing the big huge baggy (man) pants and tshirts ain't cool.. neither is cutting your hair short.. wearing too much eye liner... and dying your hair bright orange.. oh and neither are overalls...unless you are a farmer. 

Dear Me Age 15: 
A new school... it will be different, but you will meet some great people this year. When that guy comes up to you in the mall.. its ok.. give him your number.. He will be in your life for a very long time.  You will also meet your your future husband and father to your son this year...  Don't worry.. He does like you... He's shy.. go ahead.. make the first moves...  you won't regret it.  Oh and trying to give this boy a blow job in the back of your moms car... ain't the smartest idea (sorry mom) 

Dear Me Age 18: 
Quit breaking up with him. You are going to marry him... but I know you are trying to get some freedom.. something you have never really had... and something you will always  desire and push for.  You will barely graduate this year.  Ugh. study harder!!!  because barely passing ain't cool.. and ain't something to be proud of.  

Dear Me Age 19: 
Welp. You will find out life altering news... You are going to be a mom.  This will change your life. You will realize that this boy is the one to keep... and you will try and do better in the relationship. You will realize your mom is ready to be a grandma. And you will realize being pregnant is the best thing in the world next to actually having the baby. And you will realize how crazy grandparents can be! 

Dear Me Age 20: 
Busy year.  You have a baby. You buy a house. You make a life.  You don't cheat.

Dear Me Age 22: 
Don't get married just cuz its the right thing to do. If you are not ready to work at... then don't even get into it... its a long hard process to get out of and it hurts.. not only you.. but everyone involved!!! 

Dear Me Age 23/24:
Divorce sucks. But you will get thru that and learn that just because you divorced him.. he is still your best friend. Don't let a man control you. I know you love him. I know you love him like no one else.. and I know you think he's your true love... but this man will also hurt you more than anyone else you will meet.  But you will have a beautiful baby with him... and you will learn how to be strong and how to survive depression, loneliness, and late nights with a sick baby by yourself.  In one year.. you will be single again... and you will be stronger every day. You will have many fights with him and with your family... this will help you... really it will. 

Dear Me Age 25: 
It hurts so bad right now... You will survive. You will make it thru. You have a great family that is there to help you thru it all. Its not worth stop eating for two weeks because he wont call you back. And you are not stupid for giving him another chance.. you think with your heart.. and hope for the best... that's you...  I know you wont ever understand how he can have a child with you and doesn't want to see her... but you are strong enough to be both mom and dad.  

Dear Me Age 26: 
You will finally give in to God!! This will be the best day of your life... You have had so many almost... quit fighting it...  God is good... 
Just because you had a great time on a first date... and you are trying to get over the jerk off that is a sperm donor at this point...  doesn't mean you need to hook up with another loser!!! Really listen to your gut.. and quit giving him the benefit of doubt with him.. he's not worth it.. But I can say.. God brought him into your life for a reason... To find your church!! OH and baby daddy will come and give you all those promises that he loves you... he will do what ever he can to make it right...  and you will go for it again... you will survive... it gets easier...  you are strong...  try not to believe him anymore... but you will. 

Dear Me Age 27: 
Well you are on a better path now... that's good.. but quit going out looking for love... and sleeping with a guy ain't going to make him love you... this is something that will take you years to learn... if ever really.   Keep going to church. Keep praying. God has gotten you thru everything thus far... He will get you thru everything again...   You will start dating your bff.. I know... you never thought that would happen.. He's a good guy. try not to be so hard on him.. He's not your past. He loves you. Hes young.. so cut him some slack... He will always be your bff.  And the baby daddy will come in again... and you will say ok.. to another chance... and once again.. he will prove he can't. He won't change... but don't ever for a second believe that you are not worth something.. just because maybe to his dumb ass you ain't worth it... doesn't mean you are not... You are beautiful. You are smart... You are worth it!!! 

Dear Me Age 28:
wow.  God has been so good to you... answered prayers in ways you never even thought... 
you will finally meet a man that makes you feel special and loved... he will be great to your kids...  but there will be issues... there's always going to be issues... with anyone... its all a matter of what you want...  don't give up prayer... God will answer your prayers...  that's a promise... I can't really give advice right now... I guess just think with your head over your heart... think about your kids.. they are the most important . period... and NEVER LOSE FAITH IN GOD!