Wednesday, September 15, 2010

mama needs some sleep.

I have been fighting my daughter for almost 2 years now to sleep a full night! The nightly battles are almost always lost on my end, mainly because, I am just too damn tired and rather stay asleep than get up and put her back into her own bed.  But then I don't normally get a good night sleep because one- I was already woke up and two- she is a wiggler. She is constantly moving her arms or legs, she has to be half on you at almost all times, and she has fuzzy hair that has to be in your nose and mouth while you try and breath.  As much as I love the fact that she loves to snuggle... I need a full nights sleep... for more than one night. 
On occasion i will get lucky and I will wake up in the morning to an empty bed. (Not counting of course my 45lbs dog that is a bed and cover hog) I will get excited and think maybe... just maybe she is out of that "I need to be in mommies bed to sleep" tiff she is in.  But then night comes... and there she is in my bed by 2am. 
This all started about 2 years ago. Right about the time me and a guy I was dating broke up. I don't know if that had anything to do with it or not... but I am going to assume maybe it did.  Me and the guy only dated for about 6 or 7 months. He didn't live with us, but was there 90% of the time. And he was good with my kids.  But after we split, my daughter never asked about it... never wanted him... nothing.  But a few months later... she couldn't sleep alone. 
It started out that she was scared of monkeys.   She was afraid that there were monkeys in her room and they were going to get her. I would fight with her for hours to get her even to just go to sleep then she would finally fall asleep for a few hours only to wake up and come into my bed.  At that point, I was tired of fighting with her, so I let her stay. I just wanted her to sleep.  I tried everything to get her over that phobia. Got rid of stuffed monkeys she had in her room... had monkey "spray" (air freshener) to prevent the monkeys. Told her that I put a spell on the room. That no monkeys would go near her because they were scared of me.  Finally about a year later, she isn't too scared of them in her room, though she still uses that as an excuse sometimes I think to come into my bed. 
Now I can get her go to sleep pretty good. She will be up and down a few times to go potty, or to hug me again, or something... there's always something.  But eventually she will be down for the count... for a couple hours that is. 
Sometimes normally between midnight and 2am she creeps into my room. I don't always notice it.. sometimes I sleep through it and sometimes I choose to ignore it. But sometimes I have gotten up and tried to put her back into her bed or out on the couch.  And sometimes that works.. most of the time not.  
I just don't know what to do. I am open to suggestions. I need help. I need a full nights sleep.  I need my sanity. I work full time and now am trying to go to school too and still be a mom/gf/housekeeper/friend/daughter/sister/woman etc... and I feel like I am going crazy some times because of lack of good sleep. 

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