Saturday, September 25, 2010

Dear YOU: Day 1

Day 1- Letter to you Best Friend
This is a hard one… there are 3 people that I consider my best friends…. But I don’t know who to write the letter to…

Dear Aaron: (using middle name)  

HHMMM… what to say… 
You are going to be moving in a few months… I can’t believe it. I will definitely miss you. Even though we hardly see each other now. And most of the time I feel if I don’t make the effort to text you or message you on facebook… I wouldn’t hear from you.  We’ve had our ups and downs.. We’ve tried the dating thing. And we’ve managed to stay friends thru it all.  I love ya.  I hope you all the best in your move.. I hope that everything you want to happen for you there, does. But its up to you. Its your life.. You are the one in control of it.. Not anyone else.. You choose who you let in.. and who you let out.  And its up to you if your life changes…  You have had it hard at times…  I’ve tried to always be there for you… as much as you would let me… and there were so many times you wouldn’t let me. You wouldn’t let me in to your heart, your soul, and your mind.   I have always felt that I came second to everyone else… except for those few months before we started dating… and maybe because you let me in for those few months… that’s what made me feel the closeness to you and feel a love for you more than what I had.  But I knew me and you couldn’t last. I loved you so much… but we were both at different places in our life… and deep down I don’t think you were ready for a family… you were/are still trying to find yourself.. and that’s good. I know I hurt you. I really didn’t want to, but in order for us to be happy… I had to let you go.  
I am scared for you. I am scared you are going to move, and nothing will be the way you think it should be… I am scared that you won’t be any better off than you are here… but you will be there… with out your family, I know you will survive… but I am still scared.  
You are grown. You have to live your life… and I think it can be really good that you are moving… but you have to change you in order for your life to change…  you need to think positive… and let God in some. He’s not bad. As cliché as it may sound… He does love you.  
You were always a great friend to me. We always had great “girl” talks and movie nights.. I miss them.  I always joked that you were me… but with balls… mainly just cause of how you had lived with your heart… and you overdid yourself when it came to your friends… That is one thing I can say about you… Anyone that is your friend should be honored by that title you gave them.  You are unselfish when it comes to your friends… but I do think maybe you should choose a little bit more carefully about who you have as a friend… but then I guess we all should.  
One thing you did really hurt me with tho… was that I had to find out you were moving from my mom… who found out on Facebook… I thought I was closer to you than that…  But maybe not…  
I hope you will keep in touch when you move more than you do now.

Forever your friend…

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