Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Going to church

This is something that I have been bouncing around in my head for the last few days/weeks... and I guess its time to get it out in writing... I pray the Lord guides my words and my thoughts through-out this posting.

My boyfriend and I just this week actually had a little bit of a talk about this..

He was telling me that he grew up in Church... Went every Sunday with his mom... went to Sunday school.. etc.. but he hasn't been to church in years... not because he doesnt believe but because he doesn't feel completely right about sinning all week long... then going to church and acting holier than thou.

I started this post probably about 3 or 4 weeks ago... maybe I can finish it up today?! or at least this week! lol. 

Ok... So the BF was saying that he doesnt like to go to church because he doesnt feel like its right... like you sin all week long and then you go to church and pretend that you are something that you are not.  I completely understand that. I have had a lot of people tell me that same exact excuse including my ex... but I can not say that is how I feel.  I understand where they are coming from... but I believe that church is more than just going and pretending or about being perfect. 

I know I am FAR from perfect.. I have never once said I was perfect... and I will be one of the first people to tell you my sins and my inperfections...   My biggest sins... I sleep with a man that I am not married to. I drink. (now I dont believe there is anything wrong with drinking nor that it is a sin... as long as it is in moderation..). I curse. I have lied. I have thoughts that I shouldnt have. I get jealous over things/covet what other have... etc...  there are more... My past especially is lined with sin after sin...   
Now... even tho I do sin... I still (tho not recently) go to church on a regular basis. I normally go to church ever Sunday.  But I don't go in there pretending that I am perfect or that when I leave there I won't sin again.  I go there to worship the Lord... I go to worship in a way that I can't at home.   
Just this past Sunday... my pastor was talking about being inperfect... and what the bible says and living the "biblical way" and that no one does... including him...  He mentioned on part that stuck out in my head... There is a passage in the bible that talks about if your neighbor hits your right check.. turn your head and let him hit the left... in other words... do not retaliate.  My pastor was like "if someone hits me... I am going to hit them back".  He went on to say that some of the "laws and rules" rules in the bible can't always apply to life today.   And that no one is perfect. 

I don't go to church to pretend I am someone I am not... I go to worship.... worship as a sinner... worship as me.  I am saved... but I still do sin... and sometimes I knowingly sin.  But I also know that I try. I am a good person. I try my hardest not to hurt anyone. I try not to judge anyone... I am there for others... I am not malisious... I believe in God. I believe in Jesus Christ. I read the bible. I pray all the time. I am not ashamed of being a Christian.   I dont know if when the day comes when Jesus comes to take his children, if I will be one of them... because I still do sin... I still am far from perfect... but I believe that I have a pretty good chance... The Lord knows my heart. that is what matters I think.  Not that I went to church as a sinner... but that I love the Lord whole heart and soul.   

What is your thought on this?