This has kinda been a down week for me. Nothing major has really gone wrong… I have just been depressed. Today is a little better but today, I keep focusing on the fact that I am single. I have such a strong desire to be settled down, be married, have a family, a happy little home. I yearn for that.
I am tired of “dating”. Tired of getting to know someone… get involved… only to realize that they are not the one. I am tired of the let downs and the not knowing if he likes me or is he seeing someone else. I am just tired of it. I am tired of doing everything alone. I am tired of struggling alone.
I want a man to take care and I want a man to take care of me. I don’t want to have to worry about my house falling apart all the time. Or having to mow the yard. Or if I am too tired to cook dinner or do laundry, it would be nice to have someone there to help.
Maybe its me… maybe I expect too much from someone? I dunno.
I know I had all that once… had exactly what I want now. And I walked away from it. Now it feels like I will never have that again.
I am trying so hard to be patient. I know God has a plan. I know God is making me ready for my husband and my husband ready for me. I am trying so hard to be patient.. but today, today its hitting me hard.
I will continue to grow in my relationship with Christ… I will continue to wait. I will continue.
And I have faith that someday… (hopefully soon) I will meet my husband… and know he is the one. And settle down finally.