Wednesday, March 30, 2011

To Him I am perfect

As I get up from my desk and quietly walk to the bathroom.. I hope my coworkers don’t here the little sniffle sounds my nose is making. I don t want them to know I am crying. I don’t want them to know how weak I am at times. I don’t want them to look down on me or feel sorry for me…
I hurry in to the bathroom and make sure the doors closed and locked.  And I collapse. I sit down on the floor of the bathroom… not even caring at that moment that it may be dirty. I just need to sit.  And I weap.  I weap and I am not even sure exactly what I am weaping for.  This is the 2nd time today. I read something on line and I start crying… I read about a loving husband and wife.. and I start to cry… 
I prayed for the Lord to make my heart soft.. and that He did today… 
I just keep thinking about my life.. and I trying so hard not to focus on what I don’t have right now.. and focus on the Lord… that is my continued prayer… to keep my focus on him and nothing else…  I keep slipping from that tho…
I need to be patient… and I am trying really hard to be… but days like today… Its hard. Days like today I just want someone to hold me… just hold me.   

But I will go back to focusing on my love for the Lord. He loves me. And that is enough.
To Him I was worth it. To Him I am perfect.

God Bless
Overthinking Mama 


  1. awwww, I wish I was there today for you, to hug you, instead of at work! Satin knows you're asking the Lord for patience and to be strong. he wants you back, so he's doing his best . Stay focused on the Lord and don't anwser the door when satin knocks. When ever I feel like you did today, and i do alot, i hurry and say, God, will you answer that door for me? Then I think of something else. it works every time. I don't want satin knocking at my door!!! But I'm not going to speak to him either, I ask God to do that for me.

  2. Hey! I posted something and now where is it???

  3. Awwwww, I wish I could have been there today to give you a hug, instead of at work! I go through that alot, and for no reason and I pray for me to be strong, but being soft is nothing to be ashamed of. When-ever you feel like satin is trying to call you back,and knocking on your door, just ask God to please answer the door for you. I don't and won't talk to Satin, I ask God to do that for me when He answers the door. It always works, then I start thinking of something else. I love you.

  4. Through trial, He gives us strength. You are not soft. You are compassionate and want what every sane human wants. Stay the course. God bless.

  5. A Day late but better than never right.BIGGGGGGGG HUGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSS!


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