Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Day 4.

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.

I am normally pretty good about forgiving people of things… Thou, I don’t know, maybe I’m not. I still feel hurt and anger over the things that they have done… but I don’t throw it back in their face what they have done or how they have hurt me… except for one person.
My daughters father. For the hurt he’s caused me, I forgive him. I still hurt from it… but what’s done is done and I am a better person now for it.
But the one thing I have trouble forgiving him for… How he is to our daughter.  
I try and forgive him for not seeing her, but when its something that is constant, its really hard to. 
He hasn’t seen her for more than 10 minutes since July 4th.  The only time’s he has seen her since then is her 1st day of school, when he’s been driving by in his work truck (while working), or when I take her up to his work to see him.  He rarely calls to see her and never asks for her. 
Monday he sent me a message asking me what she was doing on Tuesday. I replyed- spending the day with you. Assuming that is the reason why he asked- he wanted to see her. He replyed with ill have to see if I am working or not. I never heard back from him. I text him a couple times during the day and called him ( I needed to know if I should let the sitter know if she will be there or not) and I never got a response. 
This is the way it always is. The last time he has taken his daughter, I believe was Easter. Maybe once after that, I can’t remember.  I am tired of always trying to force him to see his daughter… but I also probably won’t stop.
I try and forgive him for this. And I do. Then he does it again. 

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