Thursday, October 1, 2009


I have come to realize... I need to feel important in my life..
In my relationship right now... I don't feel like I am of much importance... kinda like in my job I have right now.. I don't feel like i am important.

In my job, I didn't realize i felt that way till yesterday... I actually had something that I was needed for. I mean granted it wasn't something that anyone else couldn't have handled, but it was given to me to handle.. and I did. It felt good. It felt good to be needed.

In my relationship, I don't feel important. I joke that I feel like I am not so much a girl friend, but I am just a glorified friend. I dunno. Maybe I am wrong.. Maybe its just me. But I have never felt like this in any other relationship. I have never had to question my worth. Even in a relationship where I was pretty positive the guy was cheating on me... He still made me feel like he wanted to be around me, like I was meaningful in his life... Right now, I don't feel like that with my boyfriend. Ex: Yesterday, he spent the day with his cousin and his friends... I barely heard from him. I did in the morning when we seen each other driving past... and then when I would text him, he'd reply back. But that was pretty much it... till I went to be and finally got him to call me... and talk just for a few moments because all of his friend were down stairs.. So that was it. And this isn't a first time. I always feel like when he gets around his friends, I am a past thought in his mind... it used to not be like. When we were first dating, he would always text me when he was out with his friends, he used to text me and tell me how much he cared about me, how great I am, etc... We have only been dating for 3 months... Should this have changed already. He is always telling me (normally after I say something) that he does love me very much, he does care about me, that I am very important to him... but if he doesn't show it... words are meaningless...

Am I wrong for wanting him to text me more, to act like he actually is thinking of me, that he is actually still deeply in love with me?
Am I wrong for feeling like I am not important?
Is this just the way a relationship is??

I have never felt like this in any other relationship... the guys have always text me thru out the say or called me or had some kinda interaction with me thru out a day... on a daily basis. Is it wrong for me to want that?? I feel like he would be completely fine not talking me an entire day...

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