This morning like all others, I had some time with God… and of course I got this urge to write something… tho once again, I am not really sure what I am supposed to write.
This past week I have been struggling with what the Lord wants me to do… what the plan is for me. My dream is that of a typical girl… meet my prince charming… fall in love, get married and live happily ever after… have some kids, me be able to be with them and not working my life away… to make a loving home for the kids and my husband.. be the Proverbs 31 woman. But after this week, I am really starting to doubt that is part of my plans… and its heartbreaking because it is something that I want with my whole heart and soul… but I think God has a different plan for me. I think he wants me to remain single.
About two years ago, I felt the Lord encouraging me to start up a singles group… A support group of sorts where Christian singles that are struggling with being single and trying to find the person they are meant to be with… struggles they may have with drugs, alcohol, sex, lust, porn and whatever else they may struggle with.. I talked to my pastor (at the old church) about starting a singles group… He told me that it was very very hard to start a group like that and then kinda just blew me off… after that… I stopped going to church for awhile. I also met a man shortly after that and we started dating. (for a little over a year) and I kinda pushed that dream away. This past few months I started feeling that urge again… but I tried to just ignore it and go on with my life. I felt him talking to me about a few other things also.. but that is a whole other topic. Lol. But the Lord def has a plan for me and even if I am not going the path he wants.. he will find a way to get me back there. Lol This past week I have became single again… and even tho it was really hard and I am still hurting… I do know that its all part of God’s plan.
I don’t really know where to go or how to start.. but I know this singles group is something that need to be organized and put together. I strongly feel that there is a need for it. And I am going to keep praying on it and listen to the Lord.. and go where he needs me to go. In the next few weeks, I will be emailing my pastor and also talking with some of the people that I know and ask for advice, prayer, and encouragement. This is out of my element.. out of my comfort zone…but I know its where God is sending me.
This is my favorite passage: (the only one that I really know by heart)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
Blessings N Love