Friday, April 6, 2012

Time with HIM

I love my time with God that I have... sadly, I don't have it every day like I want or should. I am lucky if every day I wake up in enough time to let the dogs out, get the kids up, get myself dressed and be out the door in enough time to get everyone where they are supposed to go and then myself to work on time.  

Every morning I try and get up early... try and have that time with God... and everyday I hit the snooze but again and again and again about 3 more times... and think to myself... I will just lay here and pray.. that will do it.. that will be good enough... and I lay and start to pray... and I fall asleep...  and repeat again.. and again.. till i realize I have less than enough time to get done the things that need to be done.

Same at night... by the time I get done with my day and get home and the kids into bed... I am exhausted.. honestly anymore, I am lucky if I get a shower in before I finally head to bed. I am normally that tired!!!  Let alone actually sitting down and having some one on one time with the Lord.  

And the sad truth... I don't really try that much harder to make the time with God a reality... except on the weekends... and normally just on Saturdays because Sundays we have church..  I long for those Saturdays.  I long for that time with HIM. I long for that time to be uplifted to feel his love... his grace... to get a small glimpse into HIS beauty... and then to have that inspiration to come here and share it with you.  So why don't I put in that extra effort everything single day to make that longing into a reality.. it is the one longing that I have a control over. I don't know.  Partly I am scared. I am scared that if my time with the Lord is every single day, that I will lose that longing for it. It will be just a norm.  Also, partly, I am just lazy. I am exhausted and when I am tired, and worn out, I don't feel like I get the good time with God. Its just time. I am not giving my all and I feel like I am not able to receive his all. 

I want to say that this week will be better... that this week I will get up early or stay up a few minutes later... and I will try I want that closeness with Him. I am so in love with Him and if He were a human man in flesh and blood here on Earth today, I would make that time. So why don't I for my Father. My creator. My Saviour. MY ONE TRUE LOVE.  

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

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