Thursday, February 11, 2010


I am going to have to go thru my previous posts and re-read them.. because i am sure that i have wrote about all of this before. lol.

At least once every few months.. life gets too much for me and i get overwhelmed with it all.
Its been a bit since I last wrote... and I can feel it... I need to write consistantly!!! Its my sanity! (along with twitter)

So what is overwhelming me right now you ask?!

Well its just a little bit of everything.
~ uncertainty with my job (but thats been something thats been going on for 2yrs now.. tho it doesnt make it any less stressful!)
~ issues with my daughters father... him wanting me back.. me still loving him, but knowing it would never work... him not being there when he said for his daughter cuz of work or whatnot...
~my car needing a new transmission and me not really having the money to get it fixed...
~ overwhelmed with debt.
~ feeling like i am in a cycle.. and i am not really sure how to get out...

One of my good friends has been helping me with the financial aspect of all this... which is great! And I really appreciate him for that.. more than he will ever know!!!

I know the time has come that I need to make some decisions... about my life.. and about my future... I know I say that a lot.. but its because make some of these choices will be some of the hardest that I have ever done... and i keep putting them off... but they are choices I need to make otherwise Iwill never get out of this cycle.. and i do know that.. but i dont like change...

But I have to put this in the Lords hands and let him handle it all... everything will turn out alright one way or another... I know the Lord has a glorious plan for me and my family... and I need to quit being scared to take the next step forward.


  1. I read through your last few posts and it seems like we have a lot in common.Well, I've thought that before through tweets too :) This one struck home. That feeling that you know what needs to happen, but you are too afraid of the changes and the outcome to push through with it. Or you wanna surrender your life and troubles to God, but you're almost afraid what he will do with them. I have prayed so many times for God's will, but at the same time I fear his will is so much different from mine that I can't handle it.

    I guess that is where faith comes in! :)

  2. You are right.. i guess my faith isnt always as strong as id like to say it is... I guess i am scared that if i give in completely... ill be worse off than i am now... more depressed.. more lonely... etc... im trying to let go little by little.. but the biggest hold up.. is love... and the people that i love.. or am falling in love with... :-( *sigh* but i know that God has a plan.. and maybe i need to go thru some of this.. to end up being the person that He needs me to be... :-)


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