Why do we put our parents on suck a high pedistal?
My best friend called me today saying that she thinks that her mom is having an affair... and her world is shaken. If her parents who have been together for over 30 some years dont have a "committed" relationship... then whats the point of having one? Is there a such thing?
I know my mom always wanted me to see her as the perfect woman... never drank.. never did drugs... didnt cheat... (she did smoke, but back then it was safe! ha).. was the perfect mother, wife, friend,sister, etc... Now looking back on her... I have realized she wasnt all that perfect... and it kinda knocks her down a peg... and the things she wants me to believe she didnt do... just makes me think that she never had any fun... never had a life... doesnt have the expericances that I am going thru... so how am I to go to her for help and advise?
I am torn on what I want my kids to see me as growing up? Do I want them to see me as the "perfect" mom/person or do I want them to see me as human- one who makes many mistakes?
I used to not drink in front of my kids, or argue in front of my kids, or cry in front of my kids... but why? So when they are grown and realize that I did bad things in my life... they can think that I lied to them about it all? And here is where the old phrase "do as I say not as I do" comes into play... how can you tell your children not to grow up and do what you are doing... when you are doing it...
The advise I gave my friend today: Talk to your mom about what you are thinking and feeling... and remember she is only human too.
It is called growing up. That is the piont at which you stop seeing your parents as super heroes and start seeing them as people. You gave birth to two children. Are you perfect now? But in their eyes you are.
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