Friday, March 2, 2012

Inadequate


I went shopping yesterday for my birthday with my mom and my kids.  The one thing I really wanted was a grown up bra, like from Victoria’s Secret.. A nice fancy lacy type pretty bra.  I always just buy my bras at walmart- in the little girl “training bra” section. Yes, the little girl/teeny bopper section is where I shop for my bras. I am that small when it comes to my girls.  So I figured, if I go to VS, I could get fitted and since their bras are a higher quality- I should be able to find something that I like. 

UGH. NOPE. WRONG!!

I tried on at least 10 different bras. 8 different styles and 2 different sizes!! AND. NOTHING. FIT. RIGHT!!!! 

To say the least, it was very very very frustrating and depressing.

I left there feel really crappy about my self.
Standing there in front of a mirror for 45 minutes… half naked, in lighting that shows every imperfection trying on bras that are sexy, and they just make me look like there is something wrong with me.  I wanted to cry.   I still want to cry.

I told a friend how I felt and she told me I was crazy. I have a great body. 
I am not saying that its horrible. All I am saying, ITS NOT WHAT I WANT. I want to be able to look in the mirror and say – wow.  I look good. 

Why is it that just because I am skinny… that it is assumed that I should be happy with the way my body looks. I am not.  I don’t mind the stretch marks and the lil extra fluff in some areas… but when everything is just blah to me when I look in the mirrior… why is that so horrible?? Why am I not aloud to just have a day where I can be upset with the way I look.  Most days, I am ok… but last night. I wasn’t.

I am just overwhelmed today.  Feeling inadequate. 

I know it will get better. I know I am beautiful.  I know I am a child of God.

I have faith.

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama

3 comments:

  1. You might want to look at JC Penney. I've heard they do fittings and probably have more standard sizing....

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  2. just remember you are wonderfully made in the image of God...sometimes we can be our own worse critic...chin up and know that sometimes VS isn't going to make grown up bras suitable for the grown up woman..giggles..besides why pay an arm and leg for a bra when you can go somewhere who has the same (or similar) bras for less money and do the job of making you grown up? Giggles...I did enjoy the blog and it was real..so thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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  3. I know that frustrating depressing feeling over body image. I use to fight the very same thing with bras and my small, well no boobs really. I don't wear one now because I just don't need one. When I was 30, a doctor asked me if I ever looked into why my boobs were underdeveloped. At that time I'm like no, I was always, this is what God gave me. Take it or leave it.

    I have one bra that I use rarely, depending on the clothing. When it is tight fighting and don't wanna wear one, i use the small round bandaids for the nipples. We all love you just the way you are.

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