March 9th was my birthday and it was a great day... well mostly...
My son was in one of his moods... He was angry that it wasnt his birthday and he wasnt the center of attention... so he did everything he could to try and be in the center of attention at all time... I just dont know what to do... Then yesterday he was on red at school and still so full of anger. We stopped seeing the therapist because he was doing so good... now this...
Last week he was on green all week in school. A first since probably the begining of school. I mean after school it was still a battle at times... but I could handle that battle since he's been on green.
I am starting to wonder if its just me... He's good and behaved around other adults when they are watching him.. but as soon as I walk in the house... its like the light switch goes off and he's a brat. I am starting to think maybe he's angry with me... but I dont know the exact reason why.... maybe becuase i left his father... becuase i had another child... because i have to work all the time...becuase i wont give into him all the time... becuase i only get to spend a few hours a day with him... because i dont have a man in my life to be a father figure full time (his father is great but lives a half hour away and isnt there 24/7)... i dunno... I just feel like I am a failure as his mom.. and I am not even really sure what i should do... I pray for him and me.. ive fasted for him... I just don't know anymore...
But anyway.. back to my birthday.. it was great... My sister came into town and picked peyton up from school as a suprise (well sorta) for me.. so that way i could take my lunch later and get to leave early... i went to my dads and got to hang out with him and my step mom for a lil bit.. something i dont think ive gotten to do on my bday really in years... it was nice.. He started remining about the day i was born... and he got all teary eyed.. it was really sweet... and of course i got all teary eyed too! lol.
After that we went to dinner with my mom and step dad and bro and the kids... it was nice... then went back to my moms for gifts and cake and ice cream... it was wonderful!! A wonderful day!! My great friend Aaron sent me flowers and balloons! :-) that was a wonderful suprise.. he's in the airforse and down in TX at the moment. Leisa came over with gifts for me too!! It was a great great day!! God has definetely blessed me!!!
Saturday was Ari's bday. So we went over there to celebrate with her.. She had a party and it as always was a lot of fun! Travis (her and sissy's dad) showed up for a few moments.. and promised to take her shopping on Sunday... which he actually did!! wahoo.. he asked me to go along... I said fine (cuz i was partly afraid that if i didnt that he wouldnt go) but he had to buy me something for my bday... So sunday we all went shoppng... which was a lil hard for me ... brought back so many memories.. it was like we were a family again... it was really heartbreaking becuase even though i love him as much as i do... i know we will never be together... at least not happily unless he comes to know Jesus... and i am working on that (not just to be with him) becuae i think he would be so much happier if he were saved... but i think thats a long way coming... any way.. he got Ari a lot of nice things and told me I had $5 for a gift! lol. i think he said that cuz he didnt think i would be able to find anything... but i did.. i found a tank top for $4 and you better believe i scurried my lil but over to the dollar section and picked me out a magnet for $1... i was gonna use up that full $5!! lol This is the first time he's gotten me anything for my bday in years... I am gonna take full advantage of it! lol.
Friday night I had a lil get together for my birthday... that was a lot of fun.. my mom of course went over board with the food...she cooked for like 30 people.. and 7 showed up.. so needless to say we have food coming out the butt!! lol. But it was a lot of fun.. We played scattagories. It was hilarious.. I didnt drink at all !!! yea.. and still had a lot of fun!!!
So over all it was a great birthday weekend!!
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