I am not even sure what to write about.. but just had the urge to write.
The sad thing is... a lot of the things I would love to write about... would love to get out of my brain and into actual viewable words so I can read and re-read and realize how crazy I can be with a lot of my thinking... but I feel I can't because I dont want the persons that I am having theses thoughts about to read it and take it all the wrong way. Friends, Family, anyone.
So a lot of things I will keep to myself... and its not that I have horrible things to say... just venting.. but I guess thats what my BFF's are for! lol.
Last night I met up with a few girls that I was friends with from highschool... first time we have all been together since we have graduated... 12yrs ago!!!
Getting together with them was amazing... but listening to their stories together made me realize how much I had missed out from highschool. I had dated my son's father since my freshman year in high school and honestly I was stuck on him... I don't make friends very easily and it was even harder for me back in high school when I was lacking self confidence to an even bigger degree than I am today. So having my BF their just made it easy to always have someone to talk to... so I became friends with his friends... only chatting with my friends here and there in classes.. never hanging out with them outside of school... honestly till my senior year... mainly because I didnt have him there... so I had no choice. (just a little inside note- i went to a different school disctrict for high school than all of my friends from elementary and junior high.. so I went in knowing almost nobody!)
I am wondering if I had the choice would I go back and not clung to the boyfriend as much and made some special relationships with these girls... but then also.. listening to these stories.. even tho they were so much fun at the time... I wonder, if I were a part of them... where would my life be now?! Their tales of drinking and smoking... things I didnt do till my senior year. Would I be at this place in life... or would my life had gone down a different darker path if those "good" times were weaved in to my life?
I guess the Lord knew what he was doing.
And even tho I wasn't a part of all of those stories... I was still apart of a few... and did make some friends along the way... friends who I may not speak to daily or even monthly... friends that have gone down different paths... have different ideas... and ended up at different places in this life... I know we can come together for a night and be transferred back to the happy, giggly, free spirited girls we were back in high school... where at the time the biggest worries we had were the math test on monday... if the hot waiter liked us... who had the better glitter make up... things that we look back on now and think wow-I wish those were the only things I needed to worry... transferred back to laughing like crazy till our cheeks hurt... back to where we could be goofy with out embarrassing our kids... transferred back to "the good time" . The memories that I have I will always cherish as I will all of these girls!!
Blessings N Love