Sunday, May 28, 2017

A whole new mark of sadness...

We went last night to watch fireworks... and as I was sitting there watching the beautiful explosions in the sky it made me think of my dad... and how this Fourth of July was going to be really hard. I hadn't thought about it till then. I always spent Fourth of July with my dad at Grandma's having a picnic and watching the fireworks from her dock.  I won't be able to do that anymore.  I looked forward to going there with him and watching the fireworks, spending time with him and family and always hearing all the great stories from years past.  

Its ironic that this past year Grandma said it was going to be the last year she was going to have the cook out and everything. It was just becoming too much for her to do.  So in a way, I guess its good because I don't know if I would have been able to handle going over there with out my dad, just watching the fireworks last night was really hard, it took all I had not to bawl my eyes out.  

Its funny though, I know he is watching over me. He has a strong presence and makes himself known. 

In the last month or so... 
A picture of him moved from one place to another when there was no one home with me that was big enough to have been able to move it.  

Our computer that was turned off- started playing music.

Then, my daughters iphone "siri" started talking to us when no one was even by it or speaking when it started. 

And last night at the fireworks, we got the lawn chairs out that we brought, and out fell my dad's hat. (they were his lawn chairs)

Also, all the time, I am seeing shadows of someone out of the corner of my eye- like someone walking by a door real quick- I can't make out who it is or anything- its just a dark big blob. lol but I always think maybe its my dad letting me know that he is here with me. 

I dunno, just a few of my thoughts today. 

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama 

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