One of my friends from facebook text me the other day to say
how he thought that my other friend is absolutely gorgeous. So I relayed the info... helped them exchange
phone numbers.. have played the in between girl for them.. and I am soooo happy
for both of them.. I think I happier for them to find each other than I am for
myself finding someone. Lol. But today, even tho I am still happy, I am also slightly jealous. Not jealous that she has him or anything like
that.. but I think jealous of the fact that I have the outside view looking
in.. I see him being all giddy over her.. and her being giddy over him.. and I
wonder if I ever will have that. Its
hard for me to be giddy over some one. It hard for me to let myself get excited
because it always seems that as soon as I do, boom the guy changes or moves on and then im sitting there stuck on stupid and trying to figure out what I did
wrong.. and trying to pick up the pieces of my heart.
That happened just recently.
A gentleman that I had been texting and talking to for a month and a
half.. we got closer and closer and I let myself feel something for him. Got
excited when he would call me, or when he would text me. The way he looked at me when he would kiss me
gave me butterflies. Something I hadn't felt in a while. Then one night we hung out, watched a movie,
snuggled up on the couch and then the next day everything was different and I
have barely heard from him since then. A
text here or there, but nothing like it was, so I do my thing and back away
too. I don't chase after a man. If he doesn't
want me, then fine. I wont ever force myself on anyone. Ever.
So now, I just sit here, and wonder, what did I do wrong??
What is wrong with me?? Am I crazy??
Because this seems to keep happening. So maybe it is. Maybe I need to just learn to be happy
single. Maybe that is my life. Never
to be in love.. never to have another child.
I don't know what God has planned for my life, but I guess I need to
learn to accept what He gives me. I know he is using everything in my life to
make me the person He needs me to be.. I know he has a purpose for me.
Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama
Miss Overthinking Mama...You did nothing wrong...ask yourself instead "what's wrong with him"...I do believe that GOD allows many people to come in our life just so we can see exactly what he doesn't have in mind for us....I know being single is difficult when your desire is to be loved and the desire to love....It will happen when the time is right...Sometimes we spend so much time wanting something or someone..that we are always making the wrong choices....I am praying for you girl....You are very loveable and GOD is preparing the heart of the right guy for you now...
ReplyDeleteThank you sooo much!!! That is exactly what I needed to hear right now!!! Thank you!
DeleteReading your thoughts was like reading my own life several years ago. I went through the same crappola with idiot men. Anonymous is totally right. There is NOTHING wrong with you. God has his plan and unfortunately for us, he has his own timeline. Just remember these idiots do NOT deserve you! Hang in there!
DeleteI have sung this same song several times and let me tell you something,girl...it's ok to be singke. Being in a relationship is not alk it's cracked up to be l.But uf that's what you really want, Gid will have the perfect man for you whe He frels you're ready for that man and vice versa. Hang in there!
ReplyDelete