longings

I have been thinking a lot lately... well I guess it would be more like feeling a lot lately about my future. My heart is longing for so much. It's kind of crazy how much I am longing for somethings...

I have been longing for a baby…  this time around not even so much doing the whole pregnancy thing.. but just to have a baby to hold and love and nurture…  wonder if it’s an adoption longing?  I don’t know.. Maybe its just I am ready for that next step of my life??

I have been longing to do something great… something magnificent… something that will help people.. help women.. and will Glorify the Lord.. I am not really sure what tho.. I don’t know if it’s the Christian singles group… or if there is more to it..

I have a longing to be a better mother to my kids.  To be there for them when they get home from school. To make wonderful wholesome meals and snacks for them. To be able to bake for them and just spend quality, loving time together.

I long to have quiet time in the mornings to spend in the Lords presence.. To read, to pray, to worship and to listen. . I long to be refreshed enough every morning to be able to do this before I start my day out.

I think I still long to be married and be a wife. I want that so badly.. but the above things seem to have taken presidence over this longing lately..  

I think I have done things so wrong in my past… and the Lord is working with me to see how my past wasn’t about Him and how He wants my future.. He wants it to be all about him!  I want people to feel his Love thru me.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

God's Gift

Its part of my Saturday morning ritual to sit down.. with some good music that I have chosen on Spotify coming thru my headphones (to block out all the other sounds of the kids and the dogs and the video games) so I can focus on my Lord and spend some time with him.  My God Time!  But even with the headphones in I am constantly interrupted by my little ones asking me questions. Wanting to show me the wonderful artwork they just did or even just explaining why they are crying and who hurt who. 

As a mother I have to learn to multitask. On a normal day, it starts out with me hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock and on my phone at least 10 times.. no joke.  Lol.  Then I get up, let the dogs out, turn some music on, and get the kids clothes picked out. Bring the dogs back in, tell the kids its time to get up and then jump in the bathroom to start getting myself ready. Wash my hair, brush my teeth then head to my room to dry and style my hair and put some make up on and tell the kids to get up again and again.  After we all have gotten ready- its out the door to school, preschool and/or the babysitter.. then my work day begins.   Just in the the hour or so before I get to work… I am doing many things at the same time in order to be able to get everything done.  Sometimes added into that mess of a morning is starting laundry, packing lunches, writing notes for school etc.  My kids try and talk to me and I am listening but also doing whatever needs to be done to get out the door. 

I want my kids to remember me as an awesome mom.. not one who was always so busy doing for everyone else and everything else that I pushed them away. I want them to know that I am always there for them.  I want to be the mother the Lord has in my heart to be. I want my kids to know they are special and they are loved.  I want them to feel Gods love thru me.  

Simple things I must do to make them know that they are my life… not everyone else.  Put the phone down and out of site when I am spending time with them. Give them my full attention. Spend time playing with them and doing things with them.  The house will still be dirty tomorrow…but it can be cleaned then.  Snuggle up with them. Don’t make friends a priority ever.

My kids are my life.  They are God’s gift to me.  I need to make sure that He knows how much I love the gift. It’s the greatest gift in the world.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

Realization Friday!

 Its been awhile… but finally.. finally.. finally… I am doing a Realization Friday post!

This week I have come to realize:

~ that out of all the days… Friday are the most tiredest ones for me.  (and yes I just made up a new work)

~ that I really think that the weather effects my moods. Last weekend it was perfect here and for the first time in months, I have actually felt normal

~ that I really am super blessed

~ that I really need 3day weekends.. Just can’t get everything done in 2 days! Ugh.

~ that the closer I get to being able to put my house up for sale.. the more the kids to crap to push me back.

~ that sometimes I think people forget that I work full time and have two kids to raise.

~ that I have an awesome support system. I really don’t know what I would do with out my mom!

~ that a friendship is only as much as both people put into it. if only one person makes the effort, its no better off than if neither put in the effort.

~  that God has a plan for me.. I just need to keep praying about it and be open to where He calls me!!

I hope ya’ll have a wonderful weekend!!!! 

And make sure you check out Wednesdays post for the sneakpeeq.com giveaway!!

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

sneakpeeq giveaway!

This past weekend I was contacted by Sneakpeeq.com to review their site and then also do a give away. I will admit I was a little leary at first because I hadn’t ever heard of them before. So I checked out the site and oh.my.goodness. I loved it!!  

 
Haven’t heard of Sneakpeeq either??  Well, its the largest and fastest growing social shopping company on Facebook.  They have over 600 brand partners and was featured in these two articles on The Next Web: http://thenextweb.com/apps/2011/12/27/top-10-best-social-apps-of-2011/

http://thenextweb.com/apps/2012/01/19/facebook-open-graph-partner-sneakpeeq-gets-its-own-action-peeq/ 

What did I see when I checked them out??!!  Awesome products!  Jewelry, food, house hold items. Everything was unique, not just regular ole stuff you can pick up at Walmart or Target. And the pricing??!! Incredible.

The very first thing I clicked on I ended up getting for free!! (and that was before I decided to sign up to do the giveaway or anything!!)  With the discounts, badges and special pricing, the deals are amazing!

You definetely have to check out this site! 

When it comes to the Overthinking Mama/sneakpeeq giveaway, everybody wins!  sneakpeeq is giving away 20% off your next purchase just for entering, plus a chance at the Grand Prize:  one winner will receive a $15 gift card to use on your favorite food, style and home products—that goes a long way in sneakpeeq’s amazingly low-priced boutiques!

Come see all the things you love but haven’t discovered.  sneakpeeq only has New Products that you have never seen before!

Enter the giveaway by clicking on this link:  http://bit.ly/zMjFkN and joining sneakpeeq!  All winners will be announced on my blog on 3/27/12   

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama 

being pushed.

I have been feeling this push from the Lord for at least 2 years now to start a Christian singles bible study/life group/get together. 

A few years ago, when I was going thru a hard time in my life with being single and depression I talked to my pastor about starting a singles bible study. I thought it was something that would be great for the church and something that is really needed. I know that I am not the only person in the church that struggle with being a Christian and being single.  He wasn’t very open about the idea and eventually just stopped replying to my emails.  I believe it was only a few more weeks after that, that I stopped going to that church.   I just felt very turned off by the way that he handled the whole situation.  That was two years ago.

Off and on over the past year I had the urge to start up a bible study or something but never really pursued it past the urge. I really didn’t know where to start.  This past January I felt that urge again while I was at church. That He’s pushing me towards doing this singles group, there was only one problem, I was dating someone… so technically – not single.  I prayed on it and a few weeks later my boyfriend at the time showed me his true colors and we ended up breaking up.  So here I am a month later… and doing nothing but writing a blog post about it. lol.

I have a big fear or anxiety issues when it comes to talking to people. I really don’t like calling people or talking to them about things. I barely even talk to people that I know and am friends with. I just really don’t like doing that. Let alone, trying to run a group and having to speak in front of them.  But I know that it something that I can and will have to overcome in my life. 

I also have a big fear of the unknown and of failure. I really don’t know where to start or what to talk about or anything. So that is holding me back. I don’t want to start up something and no one shows up, or that a bunch of people show up and I just stand up front of them and am like “ddddrrrruuuuhhhh?????” 

I need to pray on it more, be still and listen to what God is saying to me. I know the doors are not going to just open up for me unless I go and knock on them first.  I need to put my fear in to God’s hands and just go for it.   I need to get over my own selfish ideas and just do it.


Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama 

Clicked

I woke up this morning to my son yelling at me and having an attitude with me.  He wanted me up right then and there. All I wanted to do is just have 5 more minutes. It’s the one day that I am on my time. I don’t have to get us anywhere at any certain time. This is a first Saturday like that in a long time. My son got suspended from baseball practice for an “inappropriate conversation” the teacher over heard a few of his friends having and because my son was over there at some point with those friends she assumed he was also a part of that conversation. He denied being apart of that convo and I believe him.  The things that were talked about weren’t common things talked about around this house nor anything I have ever discussed with him. He told me he didn’t even know what some of the things were that were talked about.  I am still going to have him write a letter of apology to his teacher and also his baseball coach for letter of apology for letting them down. Even tho it was wrong place at wrong time thing… I want him to realize that sometimes in life there are consequences for things that you do not do, but because of the people we associate with, we are judged and assumed guilty just because of that.  I want him to realize that there are also consequences to every action that he does, even if its something that he doesn’t even mean to do, or doesn’t even realize that he does.

After I finally got up this morning, I was making breakfast for me and the kids and I started thinking about my life, my past, and my future… and it was like so many things just clicked in my head and in my heart. I felt myself changing this morning. More determined not to keep making some of the same mistakes that I have made repeatedly over the years… and how God has brought people into my life to show me this.. and even tho I may have been hurt, I was also shown so much. And I am so thankful for it all.

My life is to be for God, my kids, my family, friends and then everything else.  Not Myself first which is what my life for so long.  I lived for me… and I want to change that.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

Lil Man's Music Performance

Again.. a lil late at posting. 

These are back from January. Lil man had a school music performance. Afterwards we went to Friendsly's for a treat!! :-) 

his yummy favorite! Lava Cake!!! 

Recees Pieces Sundae! YUM!! 

baby girls fav! 

and he ate it all!!! 

Blessings N  Love

Overthinking Mama 

this year

This year, like the last few, the months of January thru about oh- June, I have a renewed spirit for the Lord.  Always one of my New years resolutions is to get closer with the Lord. And with the cold weather keeping my homebound more often, it is easier to get caught up in God’s word.

But it always seems like as soon as summer hits… I start to lose “steam” for the Lord. I still go to church as much as possible. I still pray everyday… but theres something different.  Something that isn’t as “gung ho” as it was back in January.  

These last few months just looking thru my blog posts you can see such a difference in my post… going from “life issues” to God focused posts. This year is no different starting out than the last few years.  But this year, I am going to make this the year that I stay about God all year long.

I know this will be hard especially as most of my close friends have a different mindset than I do. They are all about going out, partying, having a good time… Not that there is anything wrong with having a good time. I am all about a good time.. but I need to make sure that good time, doesn’t interfere with my walk with God.

Last summer, I went a little crazy. I just kinda went with the flow.. Drank way too much, put my goals above the Lords. Every weekend, I was going out and having fun.  I still tried to go to church when I felt well enough to go on Sunday… but by the end of the year… I was there less and less.  I always found some excuse for Not Going. 

I don’t want this summer to be like that. I want this summer to be focused on My Lord, My family and then my friends.  There isn’t going to be the going out drinking, late night parties at my house, wild and crazy nights…  I will still have fun this summer but will do it respectfully… Respectfully for My Lord, My self and My kids.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

letter to my mom

Today is my 30^th birthday!!! Yay! I wanted to write a little letter to my mom… who is an amazing woman!!  I don’t know how she does it most days… but she never ceases to amaze me!

Dear Mom.

Thank you!!!

For everything!!

I feel so lucky and so blessed to have you for a mom. You make so many sacrifices for me. You love me unconditionally. I really don’t know what I would do with out you.  You are my life save. My rock.  You get me thru everything. With out you, I really don’t know how I would manage.

I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye on everything in life… but you have always been there for me.  You are an inspiration to me.

I hope that I will become half the woman, friend, and mother that you are. 

You amaze me daily with what you do and what you sacrifice for your family.

Words can’t even express how much you mean to me.

I thank God daily for you!!

Thank you for being my mom. For being there for me these last 30 years of my life… and for being there for my future. 

I love you!!

Sarah

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama  

Monday Snow Fall

Baking with Baby Girl- texas sheet cake

I am a little late at uploading these pics and posting. lol. I apologize. Back in January, my daughter and I made a Texas Sheet Cake for my Step-Grandma's bday!  We went over to her house for a little birthday party. It was a lot of fun!! Baby Girl Loved baking the cake. She talked about making it at least a month in advance!! 

Mixing the cocoa, butter and water together. 

my recipe! haha. Thanks to my good friend B :-)

the dry mix

my big helper

I dont think I made enough frosting.... Only 2;bs of powdered sugar!! haha

yum!!!

 Normally with the Texas Sheet Cake - you bake it on a cookie sheet.. but I opted for a rectangle cake pan instead, I also made a small round cake from it too for us at home! :-)

it was a beautiful day out on the Lake! 

Happy Birthday Grandma Barb! 

Blessings N  Love

Overthinking Mama 

Inadequate

I went shopping yesterday for my birthday with my mom and my kids.  The one thing I really wanted was a grown up bra, like from Victoria’s Secret.. A nice fancy lacy type pretty bra.  I always just buy my bras at walmart- in the little girl “training bra” section. Yes, the little girl/teeny bopper section is where I shop for my bras. I am that small when it comes to my girls.  So I figured, if I go to VS, I could get fitted and since their bras are a higher quality- I should be able to find something that I like. 

UGH. NOPE. WRONG!!

I tried on at least 10 different bras. 8 different styles and 2 different sizes!! AND. NOTHING. FIT. RIGHT!!!! 

To say the least, it was very very very frustrating and depressing.

I left there feel really crappy about my self.

Standing there in front of a mirror for 45 minutes… half naked, in lighting that shows every imperfection trying on bras that are sexy, and they just make me look like there is something wrong with me.  I wanted to cry.   I still want to cry.

I told a friend how I felt and she told me I was crazy. I have a great body. 

I am not saying that its horrible. All I am saying, ITS NOT WHAT I WANT. I want to be able to look in the mirror and say – wow.  I look good. 

Why is it that just because I am skinny… that it is assumed that I should be happy with the way my body looks. I am not.  I don’t mind the stretch marks and the lil extra fluff in some areas… but when everything is just blah to me when I look in the mirrior… why is that so horrible?? Why am I not aloud to just have a day where I can be upset with the way I look.  Most days, I am ok… but last night. I wasn’t.

I am just overwhelmed today.  Feeling inadequate. 

I know it will get better. I know I am beautiful.  I know I am a child of God.

I have faith.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

New look

I went blonde!!!! Aaahhh... Debating on going farther and blonder!

Time will tell.

I'm still getting used to it... I can't remember the last time my hair was this light... I'm used to dark dark hair.








Blessings n love
Overthinking Mama

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