Choices

Ive got some things to figure out in my life right now... 


I am at a cross roads... I don't want to really go too much into details on here... but ugh.. some of this is hard...  And one of the choices I have to make is one I have never been good with... :-( but Its one I have to make and no one else. 


I am thinking about going back to school.. My moms really pushing me into doing it. I know I should. I just don't want to fail... and right now... I feel like I would. I feel overwhelmed with my life as it is... Work full time.. Have 2 kids... pretty much my son's dad is the only one that is consistant in the pictured... I work a part time job... I own my own home... by the end of the night... I am exhausted. I don't know if I could handle another thing thrown into the mix.  
And the things I would be interested in.. Ive had pointed out to me.. that there really isn't any end careers for... Psychology, Photography, Journalism. Well sorry.. those are what I am interested in... if I am going to succeed at school.. I at least need it to be something I think I like. Yea, I could go for teaching or nursing or something like that... but if I am not happy with the classes... I will not want to go... and I will fail!   


I feel like I am just kinda going thru the motions of life. Like I am not really enjoying it. I am not completely happy.. I am not NOT happy... but I feel like there is more. Theres more to life and where I am at... just aint it.  I don't know how exactly to explain it. Its almost like I am going around in a fog... Not really wanting to function or deal with real life.  And when I do, its always negatively...  A fight, an argument, a punishment etc. 


I don't know what to change or what to do differently...   


Once thing I have done, is started a pictured blog. Id say photography.. but I am not sure it could be called that since I am not a photographer really... but take a minute and check it out...  God's World through the eyes of one Mama

Seriously.. I have issues

I am really starting to think that I am getting crazy in my old age... 


I OVER-THINK EVERYTHING!!!! 


I over think to the point where I feel like I am going crazy... I over think the stupidest things!!! 


For example... today, I set up a YouTube Account.. I had a couple videos of the kids from the weekend playing.. so I wanted to put them up there for the family and friends to watch if they ever felt the need to.. lol.  
But then I got to thinking...  I want to keep some of my children's life private.. so I don't want the YouTube acct. really associated with my blog.. If I post a video, cool.. but I don't want anyone and their mom looking around and finding my blog.. then finding all these videos of my kids...  
But then I started to think..well what if I want to publish something hilarious... like a night out with my friends... at a bar or something... well I don't want that to be associated with my kids and the "family" oriented blog... So I decided that I will open a separate YouTube account for that...  
And now I am worried that I should have done it differently... Used my overthinkingmama name/addy for the YouTube account... Or I should have linked the two accounts... Or I should have.. uh yea.. you get the point... 


I really think I am going crazy... and I over think like this for something stupid... Can you imagine how I over think for something real life!!! 


UGH!!! wheres my xanax?? 

PINT- dont feel like it today

Sorry guys... 
I am not really in the mood to do the PINT today..  
I am very tired... and cold... and just zoned out...  I can't concentrate on anything.. 
This past week has pretty much been a week from hell. I am not going to go into details... but to say the least... a lot of stuff has happened... and its made me have to re-evaluate my future.... and I am at a cross-roads... whether to listen to my heart or to my head. 
and its a tug-o-war battle going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. 
To say the least... I am exhausted from it.. (more so than normal) 


I feel like complaining about the dang-on a/c at my job!!! 

It always set of frost bite. I am sitting here today freezing as I always am, tho this morning I honestly didn't think I would be.... why? because I decided today (summer time remember) to wear a long sleeve black top... a hot pink tank underneith... and jeans... and flip flops (maybe this is where I made my mistake) And guess what?! I am still freaking cold!!! WTH!!  
So I put a sweater on!!  

Come On Now People!!! its summer... i get that... i get we need the a/c on in here...  but really?? do we need it so cold that I have to wear a sweater over a long sleeve shirt??!!!  And maybe if it was only in the summer that it was too cold in here, I could deal a lil bit better ( not much but maybe a lil bit) but even in the winter time... its just as freaking cold!! So cold that I have to have a little space heater going at all times... I really don't want to break out the space heater in the middle of summer... thats just odd... and crazy... and as much as I dont mind being the odd crazy chic of the office... I really don't want to be "That" odd crazy chic!  So please.. just turn it up some... or hell.. here's an idea... dress like its summer and not wear sweaters, long sleeve shirts, jackets, and all that to work every single day... (esp if you are warm blooded anyway)  


ps. I think I might color my hair black tonite... I need a change... and its either that... or I am cutting it. 

Gotta love it...

I went to the tractor supply store today to pick up some dewormer tablets for our puppy Edward and also picked up his first shots (well it was only really one shot of 5 different meds). When I walked into the store I seen this... I had to take a pic and so a post. Anti monkey butt powder!!! The name alone is hilarious !  I might go back and get some.... its a power to help prevent irritation when working out, walking, or for just any ole random movement... yea..  I need some.

Knuckleheads...

My Mommy's creation (ignore the dog lol) 

Knuckleheads... 

She made me one of these for mother's day.. using my daughters own pants and shoes.. (Click here to see it.)

I love this idea for a plant holder. 

She has made these ones with plans of going to craft fairs and whatnot to sell them. 

I wanted to share these adorable plant holders with you. 

She is also planning on taking orders... and if you want to make yours just for YOU... you can send her your own kids jeans and shoes and she can make them into a plant holder for you. 

I think these would be great gifts for Mother's day.. Father's day... Graduation gift (with the graduates own clothes).. and Wedding gift (bride and grooms baby clothes)... Or really for any holiday!  

For more information regarding ordering these or to see more pictures... please email me. Overthinkingmama@gmail.com

God Bless! 

Realization Friday

I actually had a pretty decent turn out of realizations this week!! Thank you all so much that sent them in!!!  This is why I love doing these posts... Keep them coming!! 




IVE COME TO REALIZE: 


~ that growning up or old is no fun and it an hurt


~ the heart doesnt always want whats best


~ I am tired of selfish people


~ if you wait to long to have the time to enjoy something, when the times comes you might not have the motivation or energy to enjoy it


~ that I may not be worth it to one person... but I am worth everything to the right person


~ my right boob is a half a cup size bigger than my left boob *tear* and I just figure it out today


~ive should hae spent more time enjoying my children instead of trying to better our future


~ that tomorrow isnt guarenteed. you may not have the money, the people, or the things that you do today... so make sure you enjoy today to the fullest and dont put off good things till the next day. 


~ that real life is far from the "fairy tale" that movies make it out to be...  there isn't always going to be a prince charming to sweep you off your feet.. 




To submit your realizations for next friday's post... send me an email to overthinkingmama@gmail.com. They are kept confidential and are deleted after I post. 


God Bless!! 

letter from a friend...

From my friend: 

As the days go on my heart gets heavier and heavier. What is the meaning to all this I ask myself. Is this a test to see if I can still luv or am I doomed to b a heartless creature? What else is goin to b thrown in mt face each day? I can't get no serenity in this fucked up god forsaken world. I have no answers and I feel like I can't get no resolution at all. No matter how much I try and give I just can't let go. Y does god torture my heart like this? What have I done so bad that I can't even get a good nites rest no more. What is there left for me? What is there left OF me? To many qusetions and no answers. I'm tryin to change myself so the rest of the world will b happy with me. I just wanna know how much longer this is gonna go on. I don't know if I can do it anymore or even if I want to. I really do hate bein me all the time. I need to move and find a new life for myself that way I can get away from insanity. Till nxt time......

my reply: 

first of all.. even if you move... all the same issues that you are having now will be there... being in this sucky town doesnt have to do with YOU. it may not make things as easy as they could be... but you cant use that as an excuse..   i think you are a lot like me.. you find people to love that need something... you dont do it on purpose... and its just how things seem to work out... but you want someone that needs you in someway... or that you need them in someway...  you will never be a heartless creature... thats not you... i am learning that some people just cant let go... i have people in my past.. guys that i have dated... years ago.. for a short time... that to a point i still love... i still get that sweet/sick feeling when i think about them.. or see a picture of them...  we are just softhearted emotional beings me and you...  the things you need to change... are things that you may not even realize yet... and im not even sure what all it is...  i think you are a great guy. you have some issues.. everyone does... but you need to set the issues aside in future relationship and be with the person you are with.. not the past...  the past will always affect you, your heart, and your mind... but you also have to realize that the person you are with is not your past.. its your present.. and also possibly your future.  things will get better... i can see you growing and maturing before my eyes... i feel like our friendship has definetely grown too.  quit trying to change yourself for the world.. for someone...  you will never be happy. you need to change for you... you need to write down what you want... what you dont want.. and what you will never on God's green earth accept... whether its in a person.. a love, a friend, a job, a house ect... and never stray from that list... unless its something YOU want... not what someone else wants...   

i know you want answers... we all do... all i can say is pray.  it may not not come quick.. and it may not come in the form that you may think... but God does answer your prayers... I can see Him answering mine... You need to become aware of your blessings... you need to realize the great things in your life...  your mom, dad, sister,your nephew, me, job, friends, family... etc...  and even small things that you dont think amount to much... the green lights on the way to work...  the sale on cigarettes down at the corner...  the lil old woman who just smiled at you as you walked past...  dont dwell on the negativity...  when someones an asshole around you.. laugh at them... rise above their pettyness... when car cuts you off.. just realize that maybe they need to get somewhere quicker than you...  when you hear someone complaining in a store.. just realize that maybe theyve just had a really bad day...  don't take these things to heart and def. dont react to them.. its not worth it...  stop.. take a deep breath.. and think of how lucky you are..  you need to change the way you look at things...  the world aint out to get you...  but you do need to learn from your life... otherwise.. whats the point.. just to sit here and have fun and do nothing? no God put us on this earth for His glory... to show us goodness.. and even bad.. so we can learn.. so we can evolve...  but its up to us to make those choices... to choose the good over the bad.. to choose to be happy... and no you wont be able to be happy 24/7 no one can... but when you feel NOT happy...  you need to stop what you are doing.. take some time for you... find something that relaxes you.. video games, a book, a hot shower, a walk, a friend, whatever... and relax...  and things eventually get better...  but only if you let it. 

wow... i dont even know where i went with all that.. or if it will help.... but i hope it will...