Seriously.. I have issues

I am really starting to think that I am getting crazy in my old age... 


I OVER-THINK EVERYTHING!!!! 


I over think to the point where I feel like I am going crazy... I over think the stupidest things!!! 


For example... today, I set up a YouTube Account.. I had a couple videos of the kids from the weekend playing.. so I wanted to put them up there for the family and friends to watch if they ever felt the need to.. lol.  
But then I got to thinking...  I want to keep some of my children's life private.. so I don't want the YouTube acct. really associated with my blog.. If I post a video, cool.. but I don't want anyone and their mom looking around and finding my blog.. then finding all these videos of my kids...  
But then I started to think..well what if I want to publish something hilarious... like a night out with my friends... at a bar or something... well I don't want that to be associated with my kids and the "family" oriented blog... So I decided that I will open a separate YouTube account for that...  
And now I am worried that I should have done it differently... Used my overthinkingmama name/addy for the YouTube account... Or I should have linked the two accounts... Or I should have.. uh yea.. you get the point... 


I really think I am going crazy... and I over think like this for something stupid... Can you imagine how I over think for something real life!!! 


UGH!!! wheres my xanax?? 

overthinking.... as always.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately...  (what a shocker right?)
Over analyzing my life... my thoughts... my feelings... my desires... my actions... etc..etc. etc.

I feel so strongly right now that the devil's go a hold of me...
I have been slacking on going to church.
I have been slacking on going to bible study
I have been slacking on reading the bible.
I have been slacking on praying. (now i always pray.. I am always talking to God... but I mean like really praying... like deep praying for other people's needs)

I feel like the devil's got a hold of me... and I can't seem to get away.

I feel like I am being torn is so many different directions...

So many different thoughts trouble my mind...

So this morning.... I prayed.... Prayed to have the Lord bring me back closer to him... to give me the strength to fight off the devil's temptations...
I actually woke up early today... and read the bible... and prayed some more...

Pondering on getting a dog.

When me and my ex were together.. I would have thought nothing about getting another dog.. hell at one time me and him had 3 dogs and a cat.. He'd call me up and say.. i found a dog.. lets get him.. Id say.. ok. no thoughts.. no doubts... nothing...

But i have grown up a bit since that time... about 4years ago... and now... i kinda like not having a ton of animals... I have a chihuahua and a hamster. Perfect.

Over the weekend my BF, me and the kiddos went down to visit his friend... who's dogs just had puppies...  My BF is def. getting a lil girl puppy (the only female)... and the more i was around the puppys and the parents.. the more i started missing having a BIG dog.  The parents are big dogs.. the dad i believe they said was around 80lbs.  I had a big dog before.. I loved that dog.. was the best dog I ever had.  So this whole weekend Ive been going back and forth on if i should get a dog.  I really want one... but.......

My main concern is $$$$ MONEY. I dont make that much.. and my bills take up about 90% of my pay...  but I have always been able to manage.
My list of things that  I would need for the dog:

Vet vistit- shots/flea meds
Food
Cage (i think i can create my own "cage")
Collar/leash
Nuetered
possibly a shock training collar and/or electric fence

then theres the whole training it thing.. im not good at house breaking a dog.. im lazy... my chihuahua right now..still aint completely house broken.. but i really cant blame her for her "accidents" in the house... cuz I really dont let her out enough. But I was able to house break my other "big" dog with out any problems...


I think more thank likely ill get a puppy.  but its just me overthinking the whole situation.. making a lot worse than it needs to be... why can't i just go with the flow.. and just do it.. and not worry so much??  lol.