My life

I have been wanting to write a blog for too long now... but just havent had the brain power to actually wte anything... and I am not sure if I actually will tonite either... but I turned my computer on (to prove a certain person wrong) and so I figured while I had it on... maybe I would try and write a quick lil blog...



I will apologize now for any errors in this.. i am on my laptop and I suck at typing on it and it kinda pausing while I type becuase apparently its slow and I type way too fast...

anywho...



I have been going thru a little bit of a struggle for the past few weeks... I know its the work of the devil... it started about 3 weeks ago... on a sunday. I woke up to get ready for church like I do every sunday... got up , showered, got my daughter up and dressed... and of course I dressed too. I sat down on the chair for a minute before getting up to leave... and I was just so tired... It felt like there was someone with roped tied to me just pulling me down. So I ended up not going, taking my daughter to my fathers for a few hours and came home and slept.
The following week, I could feel myself changing... back to the "old me", thinking things I shouldnt, feeling things I shouldnt, and trying to control my life and not wait for God to handle things...
I went to my wed. bible study... but only because it was a memebership class. honestly if it wasnt. I wouldnt have went.
The week was filled with a lot of down points... but I tried to not let them bring me down.
~the crush I had on the I-T guy that I was going to let God handle... well I was impatient... and I pursued him... only to have him blow me off... God took care of it... it never was ment to be.
~ the date that I had on Sat. God took care of it... it wasnt ment to be.
Then Sunday came around... and I was planning on going to church... and again I decided not to go. I hung out with my best friend all morning.
Then I went on vaca and missed bible study. But it was a great week... Good thoughts... but didnt study like I should...
I did go to church on Sunday... finally. And I cried... I was so down. So depressed... and I hadnt realize it, till that moment. I started realizing how the devil was pulling me away from God... and thats why I felt the way I did... empty.
So now, I am trying to get back with God... I need to read the bible more. I need to make sure NO MATTER WHAT i got to church, bible study, etc. Surround myself with good people.