I recieved this in an email this morning! Thought I would share it with you... and of course my thoughts will be in pink in caps at the end of his rules!
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules' From the female side ...Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers. THANK GOODNESS!! AND WE DON'T NEED YOU TO BE. JUST KNOW US WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW WHATEVER IT IS THAT WE THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. TO ME... IT JUST LOOKS BETTER IF THE SEAT AND THE LID ARE DOWN. NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE THE SHIT STAIN THAT YOU JUST LEFT ON THE INSIDE OF THE TOILET.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. YOU CAN STILL FUNCTION DURING A FULL MOON OR THE TIDES... YOU WILL JUST BE A LITTLE CRANKY.. YOU'LL GET USED TO IT.
1... Crying is blackmail. HHHMMM... DOES THAT REALLY WORK?? MAYBE THE MEN I'VE DATED NEED TO READ THIS... THEY JUST IGNORE IT.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! YEA CUZ EVEN JUST SAYING IT WORKS.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. YOU ARE RIGHT... IF YOU ARE 2... O WAIT YOU HAVE THE BRAIN OF A TWO YEAR OLD.. ITS OK.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. THEY ARE FOR SOLVING IT TOO...
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. LIKE YOU WOULD REMEMBER ANYWAY
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us. IF YOU THINK YOUR ARE GONNA HAVE SEX WITH US TONITE... YOU ARE PROB. WRONG. SO DONT ASK.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one OK.. AND WHAT WE SAY CAN BE INTERPRETED BY EXACTLY WHAT WE SAY... WE WANT THE PIPES CLEANED.. IT MEANS JUST THAT.. GO GET THE CLOG OUT OF THE SINK!
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. SAME GOES FOR YOU HONEY. AND NORMALLY WE DO IT BETTER AND THE RIGHT WAY!
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. LIKE LETS GO HAVE SEX? YOU REALLY WANT ME TO WAIT TO SAY THAT?
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. YEA... HE ENDED UP IN THE WRONG FREAKING COUNTRY!!!
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not Acolor. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. IF YOU DID, YOU MIGHT WANNA CHECK AND MAKE SURE YOUR BALLS ARE STILL THERE
1. If it itches, it will be scratched..We do that. DOES THAT MEAN IF YOUR ARE AN IDIOT WE CAN SLAP SOME SENSE INTO YOU?
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. NOT WORTH THE HASSLE... AND THATS WHY YOU WONT GET LAID TONITE.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. WELL I HAVE TO AGREE ON THIS ONE. (READ BLOG:
http://mypussycatdiary.blogspot.com/2008/12/honestly.html)
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. MMMM... SO MY FRESHMAN YEAR HOMECOMING DRESS IS GOOD TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING?
OR MAYBE MY BATHROBE WITH ONLY YOUR BOXERS UNDERNEITH WOULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE?
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports SUCH SIMPLE MINDS.
1. You have enough clothes. WOULD YOU SERIOUSLY WANT ME WEARING SOMETHING FROM 1980??
1. You have too many shoes. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH SHOES- THEY WEAR OUT!
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! SO IS A DONUT- DOESNT ME WANT WANT TO SLEEP WITH ONE!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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