12/07/09

yesterday was a really hard day for me.
it was a long day at work. but I was really looking forward to going to bible study/life group afterward. my mom was going to watch the kids so I could focus completely on the life group. Normally when we are there the kids are all over me and I am constantly paranoid that they are going to spill something or make a mess! So not having them there was going to be a treat! Well when I get over to my dads to pick up Pey, they tell me that he was acting a fool over there.. yelling and screaming and of course my dad has absolutely no patience when it comes to him so I am sure he was yelling at Pey most of the time. And when I got there Pey had not calmed down any. I asked him to do something and he would argue with me. I tell him to do something and he would still argue with me. It got to the point where I just told him to get his coat and shoes on and go out to the car... he finally did... Me and Sissy gave hugs and kisses and left. We got out to the car and I told Pey that if he didnt start acting better and listening that I was taking him to bible study with me and he wasnt going to get to stay with Grammy and bake cookies.. Sissy heard this and got all excited "bake cookies with grammy?!"
We get to my moms house and nothing changed with Pey. We sat down to dinner and Pey says hes not hungry he had two bowls of ceral at Nani and Papis. Fine whatever but I still made him sit down at the table with us. Things just got worse... He couldnt sit still... and wanted to argue about everything. I told him then that he needed to go and get his shoes and coat on because we were leaving as soon as I got finished eating. He started crying. NO NO NO. i dont want to go i will be good I promise.. I told him he said that when we were in the car... and he should have been being good. He didnt so he was going to come with me... More fighting screaming running from me. I was at my wits end! I didnt know what else to do. It was a battle of power and I wasnt going to lose. period. finally my mom stepped in and said we needed to take a break and calm down. i got mad and stormed out of the house ( i know so childish) but I felt like she was trying to take his side (as i feel she does a lot). So I went out and sat in my car for a moment. I went back in told both kids to get their coats on we were going home... I was too upset and now late to go to bible study and pey wasnt going to get to stay at Grammys. We all were going to go home now... Finally everything listened. Pey just walked out to the car. I told him as soon as we got home- he was going straight to his room. I had to run back over to my dads becuase Pey left his homework folder over there. When I got there we couldnt find it and after talking to my Stepmom- I found out that the homework he did wasnt actually his homework. I realized then, he didnt bring home his homework.... so I went back to the car and asked him... he said that he left it at school.. So I asked him why he lied to me. He said he didnt. I told him I asked when I picked him up if he did his homework... He said he did. I told him that was lying. He said well i did do my homework.. you didnt ask if i did it all. I said i shouldnt have to ask if you did it ALL. That is known. and that he was going to have to write 35 sentences when he gets home for lying along with staying in his room... He didnt say anything. We got home and he went right to his room with out a fight. Sissys dad came over for a few minutes to drop of some meat he wants me to cook us for dinner this week... After he left Sissy went and had a bowl of cereal and watched a movie... Pey finished his sentences and asked if he could have a bowl of cereal too he was really hungry...

Dating

I have come to realize... that since me and my ex-husband split up almost 5yrs ago... Pretty much every man I have dated has some major flaw. Cheating, lying, drugs, etc...
I am starting to think that sub-consciously, I am looking for a man with flaws... Maybe I am trying to punish myself for divorsing my husband. Maybe I feel that is all I deserve.
I dont know... it just sucks..
Its been 5 years... and I still am single and alone. And now trying to raise 2 kids on my own.
I deserve a good man. But I know it has to seem like a lot to man... and maybe that is why I only attract losers!
I am an instant family... just add the man... That is a lot for some men to handle I am sure...
Two kids... two baby daddies... and a Mom who's used to handling it all... all the time...

New Pics posted on Shutterfly

25 pictures
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Another Thanksgiving

This weekend we had another Thanksgiving dinner. Since my dad was in the hospital on Thanksgiving we decided to have it this weekend instead and also to have it my house...

One bad thing... is that my son was with his dad this weekend so he didnt get to be here for it... It was really nice my dad and step mom were here, my grandma barb, and a couple of my dads best friends... and then of course me and sissy.

My stepmom brought all of the food and just finished everything up here... In the middle of dinner my sister showed up to suprise everyone.. She lives about 2hrs away and doesnt come up all that often..

After dinner we all sat down to watch UP! It was really nice... First time we have ever done anything like that...

Over all it was a great day.

Today we went to church and then have just been lazy all day... I am about to go and pick up Pey from his dads and then go over to my moms for dinner... :-)

Here are some pics from Sissys 3rd bday last week... Ok it posted at the top of the page instead.. hhmm....

to post pics or not

I am debating back and forth in my head if i should post pics of my kids up on my blog...
Part of me doesnt want to put my kids out on the internet like that.. but then part of me wants to share all the cuteness that my kids are... So I am not really sure what to do...

What are you opinions?

The pros and cons of posting pics of my kids up on my blog?

raising a boy

I have come to the conclusion... I have no idea how to raise a boy!
The machine gun noices... the armpit farting... the constant wanting to wrestle.. to argue... to dominate every situation... all drives me insane!!!
I know what to do with my daughter... but when it comes to my son... I am frustrated!
A single mom.. going insane!

Honesty... how much is too much?

Ok.. i have seriously started writing this blog for over a month now... i am goign to finish it...TODAY!

I think of my self as a pretty honest person... at least about me and my past... I will tell you anything and everything about my past... the good.. the bad... and the ugly. There are many parts I am not the proudest of... but becuase of my past and my experiances.. good and bad... I am where I am today... A Christian.

But in a relationship.. can being 100% honest with someone be too much? Telling the person you are with that you kissed this guy, had sex with that guy, had the biggest crush on this one... and you are still friends with them... or still text occassionally... or facebook... Should this be kept secret? Or what if you cheated on a past love? Or that you slept with girls? Or that you tryed to kill yourself?
How much is too much? My friends always constantly tell me I am crazy becuase I am too honest... I have been told if I meet a guy out and about... at a bar, at a store, wherever... the first thing I shouldnt tell him.. is that I have kids. Or I shouldn't admit that I cheated on my ex-husband, or that Ive had sex with this friend or that.

To me honestly is the core foundation of every relationship. And I am the type of person that when I am in a relationship with someone.. be it friendship or more, I want to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... I want to know everything... because eventually... everything does come out... and I would rather know upfront about something... than to find out down the road from someone else... making me stuck on stupid for not knowing...

I am not planning on ever changing this. I will completely honest with pretty much everyone. I am not saying that everyone I meet will know my whole life story, but I am not going to lie to you about it... And I would hope the same in return for the people in my life.

but I will put this disclaimer in here: if a person give me a reason to feel that I can not be truthfuly honest with them about something... I will avoid the question or the conversation or will "scoot" around the answer... like throwing it back in my face about something, judging me based on something, or using what I say against me.