Honesty... how much is too much?

Ok.. i have seriously started writing this blog for over a month now... i am goign to finish it...TODAY!

I think of my self as a pretty honest person... at least about me and my past... I will tell you anything and everything about my past... the good.. the bad... and the ugly. There are many parts I am not the proudest of... but becuase of my past and my experiances.. good and bad... I am where I am today... A Christian.

But in a relationship.. can being 100% honest with someone be too much? Telling the person you are with that you kissed this guy, had sex with that guy, had the biggest crush on this one... and you are still friends with them... or still text occassionally... or facebook... Should this be kept secret? Or what if you cheated on a past love? Or that you slept with girls? Or that you tryed to kill yourself?
How much is too much? My friends always constantly tell me I am crazy becuase I am too honest... I have been told if I meet a guy out and about... at a bar, at a store, wherever... the first thing I shouldnt tell him.. is that I have kids. Or I shouldn't admit that I cheated on my ex-husband, or that Ive had sex with this friend or that.

To me honestly is the core foundation of every relationship. And I am the type of person that when I am in a relationship with someone.. be it friendship or more, I want to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... I want to know everything... because eventually... everything does come out... and I would rather know upfront about something... than to find out down the road from someone else... making me stuck on stupid for not knowing...

I am not planning on ever changing this. I will completely honest with pretty much everyone. I am not saying that everyone I meet will know my whole life story, but I am not going to lie to you about it... And I would hope the same in return for the people in my life.

but I will put this disclaimer in here: if a person give me a reason to feel that I can not be truthfuly honest with them about something... I will avoid the question or the conversation or will "scoot" around the answer... like throwing it back in my face about something, judging me based on something, or using what I say against me.

Long Distance Relationships...

Can they work?

How far is too far?

I have always been a believer that ldr's.. or long distance relationships can not work... at least not for me... I dont consider myself high maintenance or anything like that.. but if I am dating someone, in love with someone... I want to be able to see them, want to be able to hug them, kiss them, show them my love for them... and I will be honest... trust is an issue for me. I have had too many breaks in trust in my past and its very hard for me to trust someone.

But what is a long distance relationship? 30 miles, 60 miles, 100, 1000? Is it worth persueing a relationship with someone that you will only see maybe once or twice a year if you are lucky?!
It just doesnt seem fair to me... its not fair to either party.

There has to be a lot of trust. A lot of communication. A lot of honesty.
and in this day of age... is that even possible?

the dating "game"

Why does dating have to be such a game???

You have a great night with a guy/girl... then the next day you want to call them but don't want to make the first move or you don't want to seem needy or anything. So you don't call. And the other person is thinking the same thing. So neither calls. And you sit there and wonder.. hhmm.. did they not have a good time with me? maybe they don't like me? maybe I did something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Maybe I shouldnt have kissed them, maybe I shouldnt have hugged them, maybe I shouldnt have done this or that? Maybe they were just using me for a free meal, for something to do, etc?

Why does it have to be so confusing.

Why can't we just be open and honest. Just straight out say- i like you. I would like to get to know you more. Why are we so afraid of making the first move? Why are we so afrain of rejection? Wouldnt it be better to know after the first date, kiss, whatever, that you are not on the same level as the other person. Why string it along?!

What about after the first time you have sex with the person? Thats a whole other worry. Then you start to have even more feelings... and wonder if they do to. But you dont want to say anything cuz you dont know if they feel the same. And you sit there and wonder... was it good for them? Maybe I didn't do this right or that. Maybe I wasn't as good as they hoped.

Just be honest and open with each other. Don't smother them, but tell them how you feel. Better to have it out their and known where you stand then having to guess the whole time.

just be honest. (i am starting to see a theme with my blogs!)