a depressing post too close to Christmas

I seriously feel like I am drowning right now. 

I feel like everything I am trying to do to get a head and better the life for my kids, my husband and myself is just falling apart. 

I seriously don't know how much more I can take. 

I feel like I am failing at everything. 

My house is a complete disaster... my attempts to get it cleaned and organized fail miserable. I feel like I can clean and purge and clean some more and its like- nothing changes.  

I have been sick this past month with a sinus infection that I still have and can't seem to get rid of. 

I have no energy to get done the things that need to get done. 

I just want to scream.

I am trying everything I can to make this a good Christmas for my family and I feel like I am failing miserably. 

I just keep asking when am I going to get a break... and it seems as if there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel... as soon as I get close- it just goes out. 

I have faith in God that He's got this and he knows what the future holds. But I do have to admit that I am questioning on how much more...  how much more can my heart handle. 

I feel like I am at the end of my rope and its starting to fray... 

I know this is a dark and depressing post this close to Christmas. I am just stressed.  

I feel like my brain is going in every single direction and not any of those directions are even close to where I need to be... 

I hope you all have a blessed and Merry Christmas! 

Blessing N Love
Overthinking Mama