Hardest time in my life thus far

I have to say this past month has been one of the hardest in my life.

My father passed away August 7th.

He called me up on the 2nd and said he wasn't really feeling well and that he thought his sugar had dropped and didnt want to be alone. So, I went over to his house and picked him and brought him to my house. We had dinner with him. Steak, Mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob.  Never would have thought this would be his last meal or that this would be the last time I would ever get to share a meal with my father. I took him home after dinner since he was feeling better. About an hour or so later, he called me up and said that he needed to go to the ER. He was bleeding badly from his rectum. So up the the ER we went. He was admitted since he had lost so much blood and they couldn't figure out the cause or how to stop it.  I didn't think too much of it. He was always strong and pulled through everything. The next day we went up to the hospital after dinner to visit with him. They had gotten his permission to intabate him and do a colonoscopy. I would never see my father fully conscious again. They did the procedure to no avail. They decided he needed to go a more specialized hospital. So he was life flighted to UH Cleveland. We drove out there and stayed with him as much as we were aloud as they did tests, procedures and explained everything that they were planning on doing.  Finally about 4am we decided to go home, with the promise of the nurse that they would call me immediately if anything changed.

The next day we went up to see him after my sister got into town.  Everything was just about the same. They were going to try new procedure and test to get to the root of the issues.  He was still intabated.

Friday as I was getting ready to head up to see him, my husband called and was told that he needed to get to the hospital immediately because his GreatMom (great grandma) was dying. We rushed up there and spent most of the day.  We came home and got word that they were planning on taking my dad off the ventalator, the bleeding had stopped and he didn't need the vent anyway. So we grab my son and head up there. He was some what awake when we got there. He was very groggy and out of it, but he knew we were there. He was joking with us and everything. We stayed awhile and then went to get dinner.

The next morning we decided since he was doing better we were going up to see him in the morning for a bit and then go to a concert that we had tickets for since Christmas in the afternoon.  We went up to see him and he seemed more out of it than the day before. We talked to the nurse and he assured me that it was something that happens from time to time and it was nothing to worry about.  My sister was planning on going up in the afternoon to be with him. We headed to the concert and got a call from my husbands family that Greatmom had a stroke. We headed to her hospital.  She was stable and ok when we got there. We visited for a bit and then headed up to the concert.

Sunday morning I woke up to many voicemails from the hospital. I never took my phone off vibrate when I got home that night. My father took a turn for the worse. They had to put him back on the ventalator to keep him stable. His heart had stopped multiple times throughout the night for a couple minutes at a time but it started back up on its own. (he had a dnr) We rush up to the hospital and was told pretty much the ventalator was keeping him alive. I made the decision to take him off since his wishes were to not be on that. He didnt want to be a vegitable kept alive by machines. We waited till his family and friends were able to come up and say their good byes.
And then they took him off.  He lived for maybe 20 minutes before his heart finally gave out.

I will never forget that morning.  I will never forget the way my dad looked. I will never forget that morning.

Pretty much what had happened was that he had a burst artery in his intestines. Normally that wouldnt be a big deal, it would clot and stop bleeding. But he was on asprin to thin his blood and also blood thinners. So it never clotted. They took him off the meds for that, gave him platelets and his blood clotted and he stopped bleeding.  But, his heart wasn't good. He had a 98% blocked artery and also a 100% blocked on and a few others that weren't open very well either... so now that his blood was thicker- it couldn't get passed the blockages and his heart couldn't handle it.

My father was an amazing man.

I will never forget this. I will never forget him.

I love you Daddy.

Blessing N Love
Overthinking Mama