Every morning I try and get up early... try and have that time with God... and everyday I hit the snooze but again and again and again about 3 more times... and think to myself... I will just lay here and pray.. that will do it.. that will be good enough... and I lay and start to pray... and I fall asleep... and repeat again.. and again.. till i realize I have less than enough time to get done the things that need to be done.
Same at night... by the time I get done with my day and get home and the kids into bed... I am exhausted.. honestly anymore, I am lucky if I get a shower in before I finally head to bed. I am normally that tired!!! Let alone actually sitting down and having some one on one time with the Lord.
And the sad truth... I don't really try that much harder to make the time with God a reality... except on the weekends... and normally just on Saturdays because Sundays we have church.. I long for those Saturdays. I long for that time with HIM. I long for that time to be uplifted to feel his love... his grace... to get a small glimpse into HIS beauty... and then to have that inspiration to come here and share it with you. So why don't I put in that extra effort everything single day to make that longing into a reality.. it is the one longing that I have a control over. I don't know. Partly I am scared. I am scared that if my time with the Lord is every single day, that I will lose that longing for it. It will be just a norm. Also, partly, I am just lazy. I am exhausted and when I am tired, and worn out, I don't feel like I get the good time with God. Its just time. I am not giving my all and I feel like I am not able to receive his all.
I want to say that this week will be better... that this week I will get up early or stay up a few minutes later... and I will try I want that closeness with Him. I am so in love with Him and if He were a human man in flesh and blood here on Earth today, I would make that time. So why don't I for my Father. My creator. My Saviour. MY ONE TRUE LOVE.
Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama
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