Overthinking Mama: Bobbi's story- my view

These last couple of months have been different. Not at all what we were expecting the end of this year to be like… but then I guess that is life…

I have posted on here and twitter about my step-mom being in the hospital… here is my version of the story- the point of view from the step-daughter who is loved as if she was a daughter… but not always given ALL of the info from the rest of the family J

September 10 my dad and step-mom Bobbi called me to tell me that they had just found out that Bobbi had Lung Cancer. They didn’t know much more than that and she was going to be going the following week for more testing. I said ok… not really thinking too much about it, figuring that she will be ok. She will get thru it. She’s strong.

She went and had the tests… It wasn’t good. Honestly thinking back… I can’t remember too many details… it was either stage 2 or 3… but I can’t remember. I guess because I assumed. She. Would. Be. Okay. The doctors wanted her to start radiation treatment on Oct. 7. I remember her calling and joking with me that she had to go in and get tattoo’d so the radiation machines would line up correct on her body… and that she was going to ask if they could do a design with the tattoo instead of just a dot. I told her well maybe when it was all said and done, she could go and get a tattoo to cover up the dots… in my head I was thinking maybe all us girls (she has 2 daughters) and her could get matching cancer ribbon tattoos or something. She called me when she got home from the tattooing procedure and said that she had no idea how the hell I could get any tattoos on my body… it hurt like hell!!! I laughed J

Oct. 7^th came and Bobbi went in for the radiation. All went good. She felt great. So they scheduled her for the following day for another treatment. Again.. everything went alright… she only felt ok this time… Later in the evening Bobbi started having a hard time breathing. She and my dad went up to the ER to be checked out. She started coughing up blood… and then her lung collapsed. They had to put her on a ventilator. They put her into a drug induced coma. And we waited to see what was going to happen next. I got off work early on that Thursday- Oct 7^th. Dropped my daughter off with my sis and headed up to the hospital to see Bobbi. I was nervous. I had to go alone. There was no one up there as they had all been up there ALL DAY and were exhausted. Looking back though, I guess its good I went alone. No one needed to comfort me. No one needed to feel worse because I was crying. Just me. and the nurse. I walked into Bobbi’s room not really knowing what to expect… and there she was “asleep” with tubes coming out of her mouth, her arm, and practically every part of her. Fluids were draining, air was going in, machines were beeping and whirling and whizzing…. These machines were keeping her alive… what a concept. The Machines Were Keeping Her Alive. I started crying. This wasn’t what I was expected. This was so much worse than seeing it on TV. Actually seeing someone I love in a coma with machines keeping her alive… it’s hard and you don’t know what it’s really like… till you are there.

Oct. 9 she got transferred from the local hospital she was at to the Cleveland Clinic. They scheduled her for surgery on the 11^th to remove the blockage in her lungs that was causing the lung to collapse… apparently the radiation aggravated a tumor and made it expand and causing it to block an airway. On the 11^th the family, myself included, headed to the CC and sat there on pins and needles waiting. Waiting. Waiting. They said she had a 50/50 chance. But the doctor that was doing this procedure was taught by the doctors that developed it. So there was a good sign. More waiting… and than finally… she was done. It was a success. And she was alive. Though the results were not exactly what the doctor was hoping for. The lung did not re-inflate properly, so they believed that there was an infection of sorts somewhere…

For the next few weeks, not much happened. At least not to the point that I was told. They weaned her off of some of her meds so she would wake up for brief moments and would recognized people but couldn’t talk due to the ventilator still being in. Finally on the 26/27 they took her off all sedatives and most pain killers and she “woke” up. She still couldn’t talk. She still had the ventilator in. She was able to communicate some, though it was hard to always figure out what she wanted. On the 29^th we had a family meeting with the doctors about the future. The biggest thing was that the pulmonary doc wanted to put a trach in. (cut a hole in her throat and put the vent tubes in thru there). The entire family was against it because she hadn’t been awake long enough yet and hadn’t been given a chance to see if she could breathe on her own. The doc said that more than likely she wasn’t going to for a while. They gave her a chance (when she was half sedated) and she couldn’t do it. But they would give her a shot to do it over the weekend but they were scheduling the trach for Monday. (this was Friday). We kept telling her to breathe deep. Take deep breaths… Deep breaths… I could tell she was so annoyed by this…

On Saturday, the very next day, she was breathing on her own and had the tubes removed!!! I don’t know if it was because she was annoyed that we kept telling her to breathe deep, if she wanted to talk, or if she just wanted to prove the doc’s all wrong… but she did it!!!

She stayed up in Cleveland Clinic for a few more weeks and was then finally moved to a nursing home closer to home on Nov. 5^th. Bobbi was telling us how when they put her into the ambulance the driver was asking the other ENT where they were going… The ENT didn’t know. Bobbi spoke up that they were going to *** Nursing Home in *** Ohio… They said ok.. We will take you there. Then the driver asked the ENT if he knew how to get there… Bobbi gave directions. J

On Nov. 6^th she was sent to the ER than admitted into MICU at the hospital because of a UTI. She stayed at this hospital in a step down care unit till Nov. 20^th where she was moved to another hospital that has a physical therapy/rehabilitation unit. She is still there.

We were hoping for her to be able to come home on Dec. 3. but because of an infection in her leg that probably won’t be possible… we are shooting for the 10^th. J