Ugh...

Dear Diary,
Why do I over think everything so much... Why do I over react the way that I do?
I havent exactly been fair to my BF... I have expected the worst from him... and even when he had shown me good... I still see the bad. I blame a lot of this on my ex.. but over all I am the only that can be blamed for any of it. My BF overall is a great guy.. sure there are things about him I dislike... but you will have that with any relationship I guess. I don't know... Since my husband... I dont feel I have been in a normal relationship. They were all one sided... where I was the one having to give up things to make the other happy...
I was freaking out yesterday because I didnt hardly hear from my bf all day (even tho he was sick and slept most of the day)... I automatically assumed it was cuz he didnt want anything to do with me...or something... Today he did take me to lunch (tho i do think it was cuz my friend -male- took me yesterday lol).. is planning on getting us dinner... and is even planning a weekend away to a murder mystery weekend at a hotel... aawww...
why do I always have to assume the worst. Why do I always have to think that I must not be good enuf for him to want to be around me?
Ugh. being a girl. lol.