12/15/08

Today isn't even finished and I am already up to my wits end with my son.
I picked him up from school today... He was on green! He had a great day. Was in a great mood. Was happy he was going over to Nani and Papi's today. We get home and everything went downhill. He wanted the toy he got at cubscouts party yesterday... and couldnt find a piece to it anywhere. We looked and looked all over the house. Finally I told him that he will have to look for it later, we had to go because I had to get back to work or I would get into trouble. Well he started crying over it... We get into the car and he starts crying even more about it. I told him we would look for it when we get home. (i was starting to get annoyed.) So he started crying louder and louder. I told him to stop that he was fine and we would look when we got home and if he didn't stop crying that he would have to go to bed early tonite because it seemed to me that he was overtired. So he said so, I don't care. I told him he owed me 50cents on top of the 50cents he already owes me. He said I don't care. I stopped the car in the middle of the road ( I was pissed now) I told him fine. When I got off work and we got home he would be in his room. He started crying louder and louder... more like banchee screaming. So I turned my radio up so I wouldn't have to hear him... he went louder... I told him fine. He was gonna be like that then he can't play outside at Nani and Papi's. He yelled louder. We got to my dad's house and I walked in the door.. and told him to get into the house... He said no... I told him to get in the house. He said no. I finally lost my cool and grabbed him by the arm and yanked him in the house. He started yelling about something and I seen that Nani was on the phone so I covered his mouth and told him to go into the family room with Papi and to be quiet... He wouldn't move... So I had to push him all the way in to the family room. I sat him down in the rocking chair... at that moment Nani came in and told him to be quiet... I gave him a kiss, my dad a kiss and I left. I couldnt even stay in the house... I didn't want him to see me cry... As soon as I got out to the car, I couldn't help it anymore. I feel so worthless and so frustrated. No one understands. People think I should just beat him, spank him, whatever it takes... and the thing is, I do. It don't work. I punish him. It don't work. Then I also have people in my life that say I am too nice on him... I just don't know what to do anymore. Last week went pretty good. I was hoping this week would to. Tomorrow, He goes to the doc for some tests. I hope they can tell me something because I don't know what to do anymore... Its gotten to the point to where I almost don't want to take a lunch to pick him up from school. I start to dread having to get all stressed out on my lunches. And I shouldn't feel like that.