Today actually went pretty good with both kids.
I got a small break from both of them in the evening and actually got started on my Christmas shopping! Now I am starting to get into the Christmas mood. Maybe I will decorate this weekend if I have time.
P came home from his Mamaw and S from her Papi and Nani. Both kids were pretty good. Neither acted up or crazy.
P went to bed really good for me. No fighting or fussing. S got up and down a few times... but finally went to sleep. She only got one bottle tonite when I first laid her down but nothing any other time she got up. She was so cute tho... she come out to the kitchen where I was... and would be like: hi mom. lol. then go running to the couch and hide her face! lol! P did get up one time to tell me he had to go pee really bad! lol. I dont know where he got that from- having to tell me when he has to use the bathroom... like getting permission or something.
It was finally a much needed good night!!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Outcomes
These may sound leient to you... but its a start... lol.
YELLOW: No TV, No movies and no sleeping in my bed.
If more than once in a week: In room for that night
If more than twice in a week: Toy box out of room
If more than 3x in a week: In room door closed
RED: No Tv, No movies, no sleeping in my bed, In own room for the night.
If more than once in a week: Toy box out of room, door closed
If more than twice in a week: Toy box out of room for a week, door closed
Better not happen anymore times!
PRINCIPLES OFFICE, NOTE HOME,ETC: No Tv, No movies, no sleeping in my bed, In own room for one week, tv out of room, toy box out of room, Door closed.
YELLOW: No TV, No movies and no sleeping in my bed.
If more than once in a week: In room for that night
If more than twice in a week: Toy box out of room
If more than 3x in a week: In room door closed
RED: No Tv, No movies, no sleeping in my bed, In own room for the night.
If more than once in a week: Toy box out of room, door closed
If more than twice in a week: Toy box out of room for a week, door closed
Better not happen anymore times!
PRINCIPLES OFFICE, NOTE HOME,ETC: No Tv, No movies, no sleeping in my bed, In own room for one week, tv out of room, toy box out of room, Door closed.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Im going
I am in the process of making an appointment for P to be tested for ODD. I am at my wits end and am not really sure where else to turn...
I am waiting to hear back about the insurance and getting him and appointment...
I am waiting to hear back about the insurance and getting him and appointment...
ODD
Oppositional Defiance or difiant Disorder:
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
It's not unusual for children -- especially those in their "terrible twos" and early teens -- to defy authority every now and then. They may express their defiance by arguing, disobeying or talking back to their parents, teachers or other adults. When this behavior lasts longer than six months and is excessive compared to what is usual for the child's age, it may mean that the child has a type of behavior disorder called oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).
ODD is a condition in which a child displays an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, hostile and annoying behavior toward people in authority. The child's behavior often disrupts the child's normal daily activities, including activities within the family and at school.
Many children and teens with ODD also have other behavioral problems, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, learning disabilities, mood disorders (such as depression) and anxiety disorders. Some children with ODD go on to develop a more serious behavior disorder called conduct disorder.
What Are the Symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
~Symptoms of ODD may include:
~Throwing repeated temper tantrums
~Excessively arguing with adults
~Actively refusing to comply with requests and rules
~Deliberately trying to annoy or upset others, or being easily annoyed by others
~Blaming others for your mistakes
~Having frequent outbursts of anger and resentment
~Being spiteful and seeking revenge
~Swearing or using obscene language
~Saying mean and hateful things when upset
~In addition, many children with ODD are moody, easily frustrated and have a low self-esteem. ~They also may abuse drugs and alcohol.
What Causes Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
The exact cause of ODD is not known, but it is believed that a combination of biological, genetic and environmental factors may contribute to the condition.
Biological: Some studies suggest that defects in or injuries to certain areas of the brain can lead to serious behavioral problems in children. In addition, ODD has been linked to abnormal amounts of special chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters help nerve cells in the brain communicate with each other. If these chemicals are out of balance or not working properly, messages may not make it through the brain correctly, leading to symptoms of ODD, and other mental illnesses. Further, many children and teens with ODD also have other mental illnesses, such as ADHD, learning disorders, depression or an anxiety disorder, which may contribute to their behavior problems.
Genetics: Many children and teens with ODD have close family members with mental illnesses, including mood disorders, anxiety disorders and personality disorders. This suggests that a vulnerability to develop ODD may be inherited.
Environmental: Factors such as a dysfunctional family life, a family history of mental illnesses and/or substance abuse, and inconsistent discipline by parents may contribute to the development of behavior disorders. This suggests that a vulnerability to develop ODD may be inherited.
Environmental: Factors such as a dysfunctional family life, a family history of mental illnesses and/or substance abuse, and inconsistent discipline by parents may contribute to the development of behavior disorders.
How Common Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
Estimates suggest that 2%-16% of children and teens have ODD. In younger children, ODD is more common in boys. In older children, it occurs about equally in boys and in girls. It typically begins by age 8.
How Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder Diagnosed?
As with adults, mental illnesses in children are diagnosed based on signs and symptoms that suggest a particular illness. If symptoms are present, the doctor will begin an evaluation by performing a complete medical history and physical examination. Although there are no laboratory tests to specifically diagnose ODD, the doctor may use various tests -- such as X-rays and blood tests -- to rule out physical illness or medication side effects as the cause of the symptoms. The doctor also will look for signs of other conditions that often occur along with ODD, such as ADHD and depression.
If the doctor cannot find a physical cause for the symptoms, he or she may refer the child to a child and adolescent psychiatrist or psychologist, mental health professionals who are specially trained to diagnose and treat mental illnesses in children and teens. Psychiatrists and psychologists use specially designed interview and assessment tools to evaluate a child for a mental illness. The doctor bases his or her diagnosis on reports of the child's symptoms and his or her observation of the child's attitude and behavior. The doctor often must rely on reports from the child's parents, teachers and other adults because children often have trouble explaining their problems or understanding their symptoms.
How Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder Treated?
Treatment is determined based on many factors, including the child's age, the severity of symptoms, and the child's ability to participate in and tolerate specific therapies. Treatment usually consists of a combination of the following:
Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy (a type of counseling) is aimed at helping the child develop more effective ways to express and control anger. A type of therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy aims to reshape the child's thinking (cognition) to improve behavior. Family therapy may be used to help improve family interactions and communication among family members. A specialized therapy technique called parent management training (PMT) teaches parents ways to positively alter their child's behavior.
Medication: While there is no medication formally approved to treat ODD, various medications may be used to treat some of its distressing symptoms, as well as any other mental illnesses that may be present, such as ADHD or depression.
What Is the Outlook for Children With Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
If your child is showing signs of ODD, it is very important that you seek care from a qualified doctor immediately. Without treatment, children with ODD may experience rejection by classmates and other peers because of their poor social skills, and aggressive and annoying behavior. In addition, a child with ODD has a greater chance of developing a more serious behavioral disorder called conduct disorder. When started early, treatment is usually very effective.
Can Oppositional Defiant Disorder Be Prevented?
Although it may not be possible to prevent ODD, recognizing and acting on symptoms when they first appear can minimize distress to the child and family, and prevent many of the problems associated with the illness. Family members also can learn steps to take if signs of relapse (return of symptoms) appear. In addition, providing a nurturing, supportive and consistent home environment with a balance of love and discipline may help reduce symptoms and prevent episodes of defiant behavior.
Reviewed by the doctors at The Cleveland Clinic Department of Psychiatry and Psychology.
From: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/oppositional-defiant-disorder?page=3
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
It's not unusual for children -- especially those in their "terrible twos" and early teens -- to defy authority every now and then. They may express their defiance by arguing, disobeying or talking back to their parents, teachers or other adults. When this behavior lasts longer than six months and is excessive compared to what is usual for the child's age, it may mean that the child has a type of behavior disorder called oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).
ODD is a condition in which a child displays an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, hostile and annoying behavior toward people in authority. The child's behavior often disrupts the child's normal daily activities, including activities within the family and at school.
Many children and teens with ODD also have other behavioral problems, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, learning disabilities, mood disorders (such as depression) and anxiety disorders. Some children with ODD go on to develop a more serious behavior disorder called conduct disorder.
What Are the Symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
~Symptoms of ODD may include:
~Throwing repeated temper tantrums
~Excessively arguing with adults
~Actively refusing to comply with requests and rules
~Deliberately trying to annoy or upset others, or being easily annoyed by others
~Blaming others for your mistakes
~Having frequent outbursts of anger and resentment
~Being spiteful and seeking revenge
~Swearing or using obscene language
~Saying mean and hateful things when upset
~In addition, many children with ODD are moody, easily frustrated and have a low self-esteem. ~They also may abuse drugs and alcohol.
What Causes Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
The exact cause of ODD is not known, but it is believed that a combination of biological, genetic and environmental factors may contribute to the condition.
Biological: Some studies suggest that defects in or injuries to certain areas of the brain can lead to serious behavioral problems in children. In addition, ODD has been linked to abnormal amounts of special chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters help nerve cells in the brain communicate with each other. If these chemicals are out of balance or not working properly, messages may not make it through the brain correctly, leading to symptoms of ODD, and other mental illnesses. Further, many children and teens with ODD also have other mental illnesses, such as ADHD, learning disorders, depression or an anxiety disorder, which may contribute to their behavior problems.
Genetics: Many children and teens with ODD have close family members with mental illnesses, including mood disorders, anxiety disorders and personality disorders. This suggests that a vulnerability to develop ODD may be inherited.
Environmental: Factors such as a dysfunctional family life, a family history of mental illnesses and/or substance abuse, and inconsistent discipline by parents may contribute to the development of behavior disorders. This suggests that a vulnerability to develop ODD may be inherited.
Environmental: Factors such as a dysfunctional family life, a family history of mental illnesses and/or substance abuse, and inconsistent discipline by parents may contribute to the development of behavior disorders.
How Common Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
Estimates suggest that 2%-16% of children and teens have ODD. In younger children, ODD is more common in boys. In older children, it occurs about equally in boys and in girls. It typically begins by age 8.
How Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder Diagnosed?
As with adults, mental illnesses in children are diagnosed based on signs and symptoms that suggest a particular illness. If symptoms are present, the doctor will begin an evaluation by performing a complete medical history and physical examination. Although there are no laboratory tests to specifically diagnose ODD, the doctor may use various tests -- such as X-rays and blood tests -- to rule out physical illness or medication side effects as the cause of the symptoms. The doctor also will look for signs of other conditions that often occur along with ODD, such as ADHD and depression.
If the doctor cannot find a physical cause for the symptoms, he or she may refer the child to a child and adolescent psychiatrist or psychologist, mental health professionals who are specially trained to diagnose and treat mental illnesses in children and teens. Psychiatrists and psychologists use specially designed interview and assessment tools to evaluate a child for a mental illness. The doctor bases his or her diagnosis on reports of the child's symptoms and his or her observation of the child's attitude and behavior. The doctor often must rely on reports from the child's parents, teachers and other adults because children often have trouble explaining their problems or understanding their symptoms.
How Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder Treated?
Treatment is determined based on many factors, including the child's age, the severity of symptoms, and the child's ability to participate in and tolerate specific therapies. Treatment usually consists of a combination of the following:
Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy (a type of counseling) is aimed at helping the child develop more effective ways to express and control anger. A type of therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy aims to reshape the child's thinking (cognition) to improve behavior. Family therapy may be used to help improve family interactions and communication among family members. A specialized therapy technique called parent management training (PMT) teaches parents ways to positively alter their child's behavior.
Medication: While there is no medication formally approved to treat ODD, various medications may be used to treat some of its distressing symptoms, as well as any other mental illnesses that may be present, such as ADHD or depression.
What Is the Outlook for Children With Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
If your child is showing signs of ODD, it is very important that you seek care from a qualified doctor immediately. Without treatment, children with ODD may experience rejection by classmates and other peers because of their poor social skills, and aggressive and annoying behavior. In addition, a child with ODD has a greater chance of developing a more serious behavioral disorder called conduct disorder. When started early, treatment is usually very effective.
Can Oppositional Defiant Disorder Be Prevented?
Although it may not be possible to prevent ODD, recognizing and acting on symptoms when they first appear can minimize distress to the child and family, and prevent many of the problems associated with the illness. Family members also can learn steps to take if signs of relapse (return of symptoms) appear. In addition, providing a nurturing, supportive and consistent home environment with a balance of love and discipline may help reduce symptoms and prevent episodes of defiant behavior.
Reviewed by the doctors at The Cleveland Clinic Department of Psychiatry and Psychology.
From: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/oppositional-defiant-disorder?page=3
Tuesdays
Tuesdays always seem to be bad for me... and yesterday was no different.
For some reason it always seems on tuesdays... i am more tired than any other day of the week... and yesterday was no different.
I was over tired anyway... didnt sleep very good the night before. So I was a lot more irritable to begin with it...
The morning went pretty good... very minimal arguing.
When I went and picked up p from school he told me he was on red. His school has a "traffic light" system... Green - good, Yellow- warning, Red- big trouble. So I asked him why. He said he didnt know... oh... then he remembered- because he accidentally threw his lunch box down the hall... He was walking and swinging his arms high and it slipped out of his hand. (right) So I told him he was on punishment for the night... no movie, could not sleep in my bed, and after cubscouts he was to go right to bed. (even tho its his bed time by them anyway). He said so. I dont care... gggrrr...
I take him home to change and then over to my moms so I can go back to work. (yes i pick him up on my lunch). We get to my moms and I tell him that he has to do his homework before he can play and because after cubscouts he wont have time to... so he proceeds to throw a fit... she's not going to do his hoework... he doesnt have to do his homework.. etc... So I argue with him the rest of the time before i leave.
When I get over my moms after wokr to pick up him and his sister we decide to stay for dinner since my mom is watching S for me for the cubscout meeting. Well P had already made himself a bown of cereal. So I said fine instead of completely arguing with him and listening to him to him proceed to whine and cry, I told him that he could have the cereal but he had to sit at the table the entire time at dinner and not get up from his seat until everyone was finished eating. He said fine... went done and started eating... when he was finished he decieded to start throwing the dishes (luckily plastic and empty) off the table... I told him to stop and to pick up what was on the floor... He then started yelling and crying and saying that I make him do everything. I told him that if he didnt stop that he would be in time out... sooo... time out it was...
Now at my moms her bedrooms were full of gifts for Christmas... so I couldnt put him in a bedroom... so I made his sit in the bathroom... and so he decided to take everything that he could find and beat the door with it since I closed the door and stood there holding it so he couldnt open it after I left... So then I had to take everything out of the bathroom. After that.. he sat still and quiet for about 2 minutes if that... Finally I let him out and told him to put his uniform for cubscouts on. He did... all while running around the kitchen screaming...
Finally we left... went to cubscouts... and came home... to bed. And he actually did go to bed with out a fight.
For some reason it always seems on tuesdays... i am more tired than any other day of the week... and yesterday was no different.
I was over tired anyway... didnt sleep very good the night before. So I was a lot more irritable to begin with it...
The morning went pretty good... very minimal arguing.
When I went and picked up p from school he told me he was on red. His school has a "traffic light" system... Green - good, Yellow- warning, Red- big trouble. So I asked him why. He said he didnt know... oh... then he remembered- because he accidentally threw his lunch box down the hall... He was walking and swinging his arms high and it slipped out of his hand. (right) So I told him he was on punishment for the night... no movie, could not sleep in my bed, and after cubscouts he was to go right to bed. (even tho its his bed time by them anyway). He said so. I dont care... gggrrr...
I take him home to change and then over to my moms so I can go back to work. (yes i pick him up on my lunch). We get to my moms and I tell him that he has to do his homework before he can play and because after cubscouts he wont have time to... so he proceeds to throw a fit... she's not going to do his hoework... he doesnt have to do his homework.. etc... So I argue with him the rest of the time before i leave.
When I get over my moms after wokr to pick up him and his sister we decide to stay for dinner since my mom is watching S for me for the cubscout meeting. Well P had already made himself a bown of cereal. So I said fine instead of completely arguing with him and listening to him to him proceed to whine and cry, I told him that he could have the cereal but he had to sit at the table the entire time at dinner and not get up from his seat until everyone was finished eating. He said fine... went done and started eating... when he was finished he decieded to start throwing the dishes (luckily plastic and empty) off the table... I told him to stop and to pick up what was on the floor... He then started yelling and crying and saying that I make him do everything. I told him that if he didnt stop that he would be in time out... sooo... time out it was...
Now at my moms her bedrooms were full of gifts for Christmas... so I couldnt put him in a bedroom... so I made his sit in the bathroom... and so he decided to take everything that he could find and beat the door with it since I closed the door and stood there holding it so he couldnt open it after I left... So then I had to take everything out of the bathroom. After that.. he sat still and quiet for about 2 minutes if that... Finally I let him out and told him to put his uniform for cubscouts on. He did... all while running around the kitchen screaming...
Finally we left... went to cubscouts... and came home... to bed. And he actually did go to bed with out a fight.
Friends and sex...
Ok... i am sitting here ... and i was looking thru my myspace friends... and thinking about who's had sex with whom...
and amazing... there a few people.. (they aint whores or anything like that) including me... that have slept with their friends and their friends boyfriends/girlfriends...
and its all a secret... only one or two people know that they have slept with this person... who is their best friends man/woman...
It just amazes me and honestly i was the same way... how casual sex has become... just another thing... at one time... it would have been looked down on severly to sleep with your friend's boyfriend or girlfriend even if they werent together at the time... or had split for good. Or if the person you slept with was married, even if they were "sepreated". How people dont think anything bad about sleeping around... friends with benifits... your friends current/ex lover... or a married person...
When did the idea that sex is supposed to be special change?
and amazing... there a few people.. (they aint whores or anything like that) including me... that have slept with their friends and their friends boyfriends/girlfriends...
and its all a secret... only one or two people know that they have slept with this person... who is their best friends man/woman...
It just amazes me and honestly i was the same way... how casual sex has become... just another thing... at one time... it would have been looked down on severly to sleep with your friend's boyfriend or girlfriend even if they werent together at the time... or had split for good. Or if the person you slept with was married, even if they were "sepreated". How people dont think anything bad about sleeping around... friends with benifits... your friends current/ex lover... or a married person...
When did the idea that sex is supposed to be special change?
The First
I have started this blog today because I need a place to vent about my kids. I love my kids more than life itself... but they love to push me as far as I can go. And I really dont know who all will read this, if anyone at all... but at least it will help me remember things, vent things, and hopefully figure out a different route of parenting in the mean time.. Because the way I am going at the moment... is driving me insane!
A refresher course on me and my Situation...
I am a single mom of 2 great kids. I work 3 jobs. I am a head person in my son's cubscouts. I have 4 animals (2 dogs, a cat, and a frog). I own my own home. I own my own car. I am currently 26yrs old (march 1982). I have anxiety issues. I am a born again Christian. I am divorsed. My kids have two different fathers. My son is white. My daughter is biracial. I was the "black sheep" of the family because I dated a black man.
I guess that is me in a nut shell! lol!
Now... for the next posting.
Please post any comments, questions or anything to anything I have wrote.
A refresher course on me and my Situation...
I am a single mom of 2 great kids. I work 3 jobs. I am a head person in my son's cubscouts. I have 4 animals (2 dogs, a cat, and a frog). I own my own home. I own my own car. I am currently 26yrs old (march 1982). I have anxiety issues. I am a born again Christian. I am divorsed. My kids have two different fathers. My son is white. My daughter is biracial. I was the "black sheep" of the family because I dated a black man.
I guess that is me in a nut shell! lol!
Now... for the next posting.
Please post any comments, questions or anything to anything I have wrote.
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