Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Why is that so hard for people to say... even if its part of my job... if its something that is expected of me... why can't people still say thank you...
My ex. used to think it was stupid to tell me thank you. And it irritated me to no end.. I would like to know once in a while that I am appreciated...
I would cook dinner... not a thank you... I would do laundry... not a thank you... I would clean the house... not a thank you... And heaven forbid I tell him Thank you for something that he did that "is expected" well that was just the start of an argument... he would tell me that Im stupid. I don't need to patronize him by saying thank you... I wasnt trying to.. I just wanted him to know that I appreciated all that he does. Why is it so hard to accept and to say for some people!!!!
I know with work and everything its a little different.. its your job but still... why can't someone tell you thank you for something that you do... especially if its over and beyond your job description and you are helping them out!!
THANK YOU FOR TAKING A MOMENT OUT OF YOUR BUSY DAY TO READ MY BLOG! :-)
Monday, December 29, 2008
I cant believe that its all over with already!!! So much anticipation for it... just for it to go so quick!!
Christmas was wonderful for all of us!!! P and S enjoyed it so so much!!!
Christmas eve was so nice. My dad, step mom, Grandma B and two of our close family friends all came over to my house to celebrate. Lucky me, I got to work that day... so my stepmom (nani) came over and watched the kids for me and got the food all prepared. It was so nice not having to get up and get them ready for once... that never happens!!!
So we celebrated at my house.. The kids got so much stuff.. and of course... they played in the big box that one of the gifts came in more than the toys! lol. Santa paid us a visit and it was fun. S actually went near him and didn't freak out!! yea!!
We went to Christmas eve serv. and that was really nice... P did excellant there! S was tired and cranky from the whole day so she was more restless. Then me and the kids went to Red Lobster with my mom and stepdad and bro. It was nice... even tho they were sooooo slow, and there was no one there!!! After dinner we went to my moms to open a gift and then back home and the kids opened all of the gifts from me! They both were so good it was a Christmas miricle!! :-)
Christmas morning they woke up to get their stockings and the gifts that Santa left them! P was super excited because he got two of the things he really wanted... S liked it too.. but wasnt over excited. We then went to my mom to open some gifts over there... P was over tired and over stimulated already and was starting be come a grouch... S was ok.. They both got so spoiled tho this Christmas!!! its insane!!!
P went with his father for the week till New Years eve... so its just been me and S. It has been fun... but i know she is missing her brother.
The 26th... i went to the radio city Christmas spectacular featuring the rockettes... it was really ncie... it was nice spending time with the family... and NO KIDS!!!
The rest of the weekend we pretty much was just laszy... I put together S's new bed... I am still fighting her on sleeping there... she wants to be with mommy.
Sunday night... i thought she was in bed... next thing i know she comes out to the family room... and says look mommy- hair... i looked... and smelled... and she put an entire tub of vick vapor rub in her hair!!! lucky me!!! that is a pain to get out... i washed her hair 2x... still nothing... so i put her back to bed... i was exhausted by this point... and just wanted togo to sleep...
Yesterday my mom picked her up early from the sitter... and washed her hair with corn starch and a good shampoo... more came out... but its still really greasey looking... o well.
We got our new puppy last nite... ill put up pics. s loves him... but he doesnt know exactly what to make of her yet... shes just slightly "over" loving!
Again last night was another fight to gether to sleep in her bed. she wants to stay up with me! finally at 1130 and crying herself to sleep... the fight was over... till 230 when she climbed in bed with me... she won.
I got a call from my ex and his wife last night about p. he stole his cousins lil toys. they found them in his coat pocket... i so dont know what to do with him! I dont know why he does what he does!!! He's got an appt with the doc on sat... so hopefully she will be able to tell me something... becasue i really don't know what to do!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I was talking with my friend over the weekend. And she has been talking to this guy for a few weeks now, and really likes him. She's not sure how he feels. He's a manly man, and doesn't really talk about his feelings that much. She knows he doesn't want to rush into anything and really she doesn't either but also wants to know he feels... They have hung out a couple of time... and the last time that they hung out they ended up having sex. She felt really good about everything, even tho it had happened earlier than she thought it would or should. But it felt right.
Then the next few days that followed... He seemed more distant. And maybe it was just that he was busy or something... but he didn't call as much, he didn't text as much. And when he did, it was distant. So now she's worrying that maybe that was all he really wanted to get laid and be done... That he doesn't feel the same way she does. But then maybe she is putting the horse before the carriage and just thinking way to much for everything.
But sex is kinda a big thing... unless maybe it put out there in the first place where both parties stand... like if its just a friendship thing and that's all it will ever be. But when one party is thinking that maybe there is more than there is one person is going to get hurt.
So I am sitting here thinking/wondering... do guys feel like this? Do guys feel the emotional connection from sex that women do? Do they get caught up in the moments and feel more than they let on?
Why can't guys after they have had sex with a girl... try and do a lil bit more than he has to show her that it wasn't just a great lay... and now he's done. That there is more in his heart than what is in his pants. I know girls are complicated... and maybe we should band together and make a instruction manual up for men so they know how to treat a woman!
Be sweet, compliment, show interest, text randomly thru out the day, leave sweet messages- on phone, email,facebook, myspace, wherever, flowers, candy, balloons... anything that will make the girl know that she was more than just sex. You see more to her than just what she's got going on under all her clothes.
Whats your opinion?
Monday, December 22, 2008
So here's the update on the last week.
On the 16th P had his first appointment with a counselor about the odd... We talked for a lil bit and she barely talked to P. She pretty much said that she didn't think he had that he was a normal 6yr old boy. And she didn't think that he needed to come back. I told her I thought he definetely needed to come back, even just to talk. I feel like I am at my wits end. I can not take it anymore. He has a lot of anger built up and maybe at least just talking with him will help everything. So we go back in Jan.
Then P had his holiday musical performance that same night. He did so great! He definetly loves to perform and has a musical ear! S wanted to be up there with him. And because I wouldn't let her, she decided to throw a fit over it! My step-dad came and got her and took her to the back of the room... I could still hear her crying thru the whole thing. Poor thing! lol. She always wants to be with her brother.
The rest of the week is kinda a blur to me now! lol. Thats so horrible.
Friday we went to diner with a couple of my friends. And both kids did really good!!! Then we went and looked at Christmas lights. It was nice. Afterward my friend L came over and me, her and p watched a movie. S went to bed... well tried to get her to anyway... she kept sneeking out
finally we got her to go back to sleep.
Sat. we went with Nani to the Moose Christmas party. That was neat... different. and funny. The kids I think enjoyed themselves. P went and stayed the night over a friends house. My friend J came over and we watched a couple movies together. S was scared to death of him!! lol. She kept screaming and freaking out whenever she seen him!!
Sun- We went and got our pics taken with Santa. That was a lot of fun! We really enjoyed it! In the evening me and P were wrapping gifts and S decided she didnt want to go to sleep.. so she came out... grabbed a gift , said mine, and went running to her room!! lol.
You have a great night with a guy/girl... then the next day you want to call them but don't want to make the first move or you don't want to seem needy or anything. So you don't call. And the other person is thinking the same thing. So neither calls. And you sit there and wonder.. hhmm.. did they not have a good time with me? maybe they don't like me? maybe I did something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Maybe I shouldnt have kissed them, maybe I shouldnt have hugged them, maybe I shouldnt have done this or that? Maybe they were just using me for a free meal, for something to do, etc?
Why does it have to be so confusing.
Why can't we just be open and honest. Just straight out say- i like you. I would like to get to know you more. Why are we so afraid of making the first move? Why are we so afrain of rejection? Wouldnt it be better to know after the first date, kiss, whatever, that you are not on the same level as the other person. Why string it along?!
What about after the first time you have sex with the person? Thats a whole other worry. Then you start to have even more feelings... and wonder if they do to. But you dont want to say anything cuz you dont know if they feel the same. And you sit there and wonder... was it good for them? Maybe I didn't do this right or that. Maybe I wasn't as good as they hoped.
Just be honest and open with each other. Don't smother them, but tell them how you feel. Better to have it out their and known where you stand then having to guess the whole time.
just be honest. (i am starting to see a theme with my blogs!)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
and it has brought me to once conclusion... its all makes me a lil sad.
All of the blogs I read are about happy lil families... husband, wife and kids...I want that so bad... I want that so bad it hurts... I have never experienced that before.
I mean I have wanted a lot of things... but so bad that my heart aches for it like this.
I want a "lil family".
I want a Christian family. I
want love from a man and be able to give it to him.
I want more kids.
I want to be the lil wifey who is there for my man and my kids.
I want to be able to have the time and energy to do things crafty and to do things with and for my family.
Is this too much to ask?
I know it will all come in due time.
The Lord has a plan for me and for my family. I know he is preparing me to be the best I can be for my husband and is doing the same to the man he has planned to be my husband... all I can do is be patient and wait.
and it has brought me to once conclusion... its all makes me a lil sad.
All of the blogs I read are about happy lil families... husband, wife and kids...
I want that so bad... I want that so bad it hurts... I have never experianced that before. I mean I have wanted a lot of things... but so bad that my heart aches for it like this.
I want a "lil family". I want a Christian family. I want love from a man and be able to give it to him. I want more kids. I want to be the lil wifey who is there for my man and my kids. I want to be able to have the time and energy to do things crafty and to do things with and for my family.
Is this too much to ask?
I know it will all come in due time. The Lord has a plan for me and for my family. I know he is preparing me to be the best I can be for my husband and is doing the same to the man he has planned to be my husband... all I can do is be patient and wait.
I went and got S from the sitters... paid her money I really didn't have and went to go and get P at my dads.
They told me he was good while I was gone, ate 2 bowls of cereal and an orange. He said he was still hungry. I said fine, finish the orange and we will got get dinner. He asked where? I told him at home. He just said oh and went back to eating his orange. I took S into see Papi and first thing she did was jump up into his lap and ask for some gum and of course my dad gives it to her and a piece to give to P. They both enjoy it... Now after the 2nd piece of gum she convinced my dad to give her, he told her no more... she proceeded to stick her bottom lip out... crawl down off his lap... start crying and come and sit with me. She was done with Papi. lol. And you guessed it... Papi gave her another piece of gum. What a softy.
I told P it was time to leave... He wanted to keep playing. I said finish up, we are leaving. At this moment S decided to throw a fit- about what I don't even remember. So I knew it was time to leave. P decided to start to throw a fit too cuz he wanted to keep playing. A few minutes later, coats on, kissed done we were out the door. phew... We got home and I sent P straight to his room for acting up earlier that day on my lunch. I put S in her room for the fit she threw over at Papi and Nani and I was already wiped out for the day... but there was still dinner to be made and laundry to be done.
So I made dinner and let both kids out of the room while it was cooking. S sat on the counter playing in the sink and P was at the kitchen table making snowflakes. I was cooking and folding laundry. We ate dinner in the family room and watched Elmo went to grouchland. The disc kept skipping and S had the remote by her so everytime it paused she would touch the remote and thought she was fixing the problem. P ate everything on his plate! and S most of it all.
Right after dinner it was bed time... well 15 minutes early... but I was exhausted and needed them down for the night. I got them all into bed and settled, and I went to do some more of the laundry, take a shower and by 930 I was in bed too. S had different plans for me tho. She decided to get up out of bed at 1030 and come into my room (its a good thing she is just short enough that she doesn't set off the motion decector for our alarm system!!) I got her back into bed just for her to get up again at 1130 to do it all again...
I am exhausted.
Monday, December 15, 2008
I picked him up from school today... He was on green! He had a great day. Was in a great mood. Was happy he was going over to Nani and Papi's today. We get home and everything went downhill. He wanted the toy he got at cubscouts party yesterday... and couldnt find a piece to it anywhere. We looked and looked all over the house. Finally I told him that he will have to look for it later, we had to go because I had to get back to work or I would get into trouble. Well he started crying over it... We get into the car and he starts crying even more about it. I told him we would look for it when we get home. (i was starting to get annoyed.) So he started crying louder and louder. I told him to stop that he was fine and we would look when we got home and if he didn't stop crying that he would have to go to bed early tonite because it seemed to me that he was overtired. So he said so, I don't care. I told him he owed me 50cents on top of the 50cents he already owes me. He said I don't care. I stopped the car in the middle of the road ( I was pissed now) I told him fine. When I got off work and we got home he would be in his room. He started crying louder and louder... more like banchee screaming. So I turned my radio up so I wouldn't have to hear him... he went louder... I told him fine. He was gonna be like that then he can't play outside at Nani and Papi's. He yelled louder. We got to my dad's house and I walked in the door.. and told him to get into the house... He said no... I told him to get in the house. He said no. I finally lost my cool and grabbed him by the arm and yanked him in the house. He started yelling about something and I seen that Nani was on the phone so I covered his mouth and told him to go into the family room with Papi and to be quiet... He wouldn't move... So I had to push him all the way in to the family room. I sat him down in the rocking chair... at that moment Nani came in and told him to be quiet... I gave him a kiss, my dad a kiss and I left. I couldnt even stay in the house... I didn't want him to see me cry... As soon as I got out to the car, I couldn't help it anymore. I feel so worthless and so frustrated. No one understands. People think I should just beat him, spank him, whatever it takes... and the thing is, I do. It don't work. I punish him. It don't work. Then I also have people in my life that say I am too nice on him... I just don't know what to do anymore. Last week went pretty good. I was hoping this week would to. Tomorrow, He goes to the doc for some tests. I hope they can tell me something because I don't know what to do anymore... Its gotten to the point to where I almost don't want to take a lunch to pick him up from school. I start to dread having to get all stressed out on my lunches. And I shouldn't feel like that.
S and I were lazy part of Saturday. Then she went to Nani and Papi's for awhile so I could do my Christmas shopping, which I pretty much finished up. We ate dinner with Nani and Papi and then went home and she got ready for bed.
Sunday S's dad came over for the morning and hung out with us. Then P's dad dropped him off and we went to his cubscout Christmas party. We then went to the mall to see Santa and get our picture take, but Santa was on his way to lunch so we went home. S went and took a nap and P and I layed on the couch and I tried to sleep, but S kept coming out of her room and woke me up...
In the evening we went over to Grammy and Grampys. The kids stayed for dinner and I had to go to a work Christmas party. That was a lot of fun.
After the party I went and picked up P and he was so nice and co-operative. Went to bed good for me. My mom dropped S off on her way home. And she went to bed good too.
it was a good weekend.
No issues. No problems.
Although P got put on red today at school. The teacher pulled me aside when I went to pick him up from school and told me he got put on red today for saying something inappropriate...
He told a lil girl that her mom musta pee'd on her sandwich because it was all wet!
I tried so hard not to crack a smile... I know that wasn't a nice thing to say, but it was funny.
P went to his dad's today for the weekend. I'll get him back on Sunday.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Catch up to do...
Was actually a good day suprisingly. I was of course tired as I always am. lol. and I wasn't feeling all that great. Everyone at my job was sick... and of course I would get it too. So I went home at lunch (330) and rested. Then to my moms for dinner. The kids were already there, so it was nice to not have to drive all over BFE to get them. After dinner P had cubscouts. We got to go on a tour of the local police station. It was really interesting! I had a really nice time. After that me and P were on our way home and drove past the town square and it was all lite up for Christmas, so we decided to stop and go for a walk thru it. It was nice. He was so sweet.
We got home and waited for my mom to bring S home. Once I did, it was the nightly battle to bed. Finally got them both into bed and I finished some laundry and then decorated the tree! Yea!! its all done!!
I took the day off work today. Wasn't feeling that great and I got to spend some time with my Mom, which is something I really havn't got to do in a while. Mamaw (my ex-mother-in-law) picked P up from school so I didn't have to worry about that and S was with my dad and his wife. So the kids were situated.
In the evening after I rested up, I went a picked up S. My friend Sh was over there visiting my dad and had brought pizza over, so we all ate dinner. S really enjoyed this. After we ate, we went home and waited for Mamaw to bring P. He came in and was talking a mile a minute about school and the santa shop and everything. I got S into bed (a few times!) and then P and I finished up folding and putting away laundry. He was a big help. My friend A came over with a movie and I had gotten him hot cocoa for Christmas so we had that and popcorn! MMM!! Good movie night. We watched Fred Claus. It was hilarious! and P loved it! He was so into the movie it was cute!!!
It was a really really good night!!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Like for example:
you ask you man - are you cheating on me?
Seriously! Do you think he is going to tell you the truth? How many people out there when asked that question would admit to it?
or you ask- do you love me?
do you find me attractive?
do i look fat?
do you think she's prettier than me?
Most people are not going to answer these questions honestly. Because if they did... it would a- hurt the person askings feelings and b- would start an argument or some kind.
Yet, we still ask them... even knowing that we are being lied to, for some sort of reasurrance.
and we ask again and again and again...
because we need the reasurrance- even if it is fake.
It was a stressful day at work and I have some personal issues I am trying to work thru and manage.
Afterwork I went and picked up S. She forgot her babydoll at the sitter, so I had to run back there and get that for her. Went to pick up P from my dads. He didnt want to leave... so I had to argue with him about that... And he didnt do his homework, like I had asked him to do before I got there. Finally got both kids loaded into the car and head home.
As we walked in the car, my friend arrived to bring our Christmas tree. This was the first time my kids had ever me my friend A and P was excited but of course S was scared out of her mind. So she came running to me and wouldnt let me put her down for anything.
While A was bringing in the tree I kept telling P to sit down and do his home work... He kept having to do something... this or that... or needed me to read part of his homework to him. I kept telling him just to do what he could first then, when I was done, i would help with the rest. Well that wasn't good enough and he wasn't going to do it at all.
My friend T showed up to pick up some Christmas decorations that I had for her, and we started talking and she was explaining things going on in her life and over an hour went by. It was 8 oclock and my kids still hadn't ate dinner, did homework, have a bath and it was already bed time!!! So I yelled for P to come and do his homework, and of course he had to play like he didn't know how to do anything! Didnt know his days of the week, didnt know how to write a date (yet has been doing this for over a month now) Then he couldn't find a pencil that worked or anything else to write with and he didn't want to use a pen! So I was finally completley frustrated and told him fine... dont do your homework you can just go to bed, and get in trouble at school tomorrow for not having it done and then you will get in trouble at home for being in trouble at school! So finally he sat down and started doing it. I was trying to get dinner together for them and get S situatied in her seat and started to eat. While I was doing that my friend A came in and started helping P with his homework... It was hilarious. P acted like he didn't have a clue on how to do things... I just kept my mouth shut, at least it wasn't an argument. I got S into bath and then ready for bed. P got dinner and some hot cocoa compliments of A.
By 930... I was exhausted... both kids in bed... P sound asleep, S singing in her crib. I was vegged out in a dark family room sitting on my couch.
I hope Tuesday is better. (even tho tuesdays are always tired days for me!)
Monday, December 8, 2008
P went with his father for the weekend, from Friday till Sunday. I missed him a lot.
S went to dinner with Grammy and Grampy Friday night, I went out with a friend to a comedy show. It was a lot of fun.
Sat morning we both were up bright and early, I had a breakfast meeting that I had to attend. S did really good there. We went home and tried to nap. Unfortunately, S's idea of a nap was finding a black crayon and coloring all over her closet door. :-( She then went over to Nani and Papi's for a bit while I went on an appointment for Primerica. I went and picked her up and me and her went to Mc'ds for dinner. It was nice. I then took her back to Nani and Papi's and she stayed the night there.
Sunday S's father came over to spend the day with her. I think she enjoyed it... (I was irritated most of the day! but hey... I guess that comes with that!) It was nice to spend the day with S. We went shopping and then put up Christmas decorations. She kept looking and going oooohhh...
P's father dropped him off Sunday evening. When we went home, he wanted to watch a movie with me because he missed me all weekend. So I said ok, so after I got S into bed, we watched part of the movie. I ended up falling a sleep and of course that wasn't aloud so P woke me up and said Mommy you fell asleep you said you would watch this with me. I told him I was sorry, I was just really tired. He got a lil mad and said you lied just like Daddy did. He fell alseep during a movie too! lol.
I decided it was time for bed then.
We went to bed. and P got to sleep in bed with me.
about 330 S decided she wanted in bed too... So she came in... that lasted bout 2hrs, with her laughing and talking and wanting to play. So I got frustrated and put her back in her bed...
Didn't get much sleep last nite.
Friday, December 5, 2008
I called a few different place to find out about getting P tested for ODD.
And I keep getting that they are out of Network, that I need to call the employer and get it opened up to be approved or something like that.
My ex-husband had P on his insurance. And I really dont want to get him involved more than he has to be. I am not sure how he will react to the fact that I want to get him tested. I guess I am afraid that he will deny that there is anything wrong and try and fight me on getting him tested.
Oh well, I guess I will be calling the insurance company.
He was happy to have food.. and it was so interesting to feed him! lol.
P went to my moms afterschool. When I got off work and went over there for supper, she had said that he was great. Very loving, listened really good, didn't argue, just wonderful! But of course that all changed when I got home. It makes me feel so worthless that he can act so good with her, then as soon as I show up- he's wild and crazy.
S was more happy to see her brother than she was to see me! lol! She was hungry and scarfed down her meal... P coulda cared less, and as usual made more problems for himself. Food was too hot, didnt want this.. etc.
After dinner we went home and I cleaned up a lil bit. S played and P did his homework. Afterward S went to bed (which of course she got up 3 or 4x). P and me watched a movie together and snuggled about a hour and a half in, P looks at me and says, mommy I am tired. I want to go to bed. I told him alright. So we turned the movie off and went and tucked him in and said his prayer.
It was a good night. Started out a lil bit rocky but it ended good.
I was proud of the fact that he knew he was tired, and had to get up early in the morning for school, so he should go to bed.
He goes to his dad's this weekend. I will miss him.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
I got a small break from both of them in the evening and actually got started on my Christmas shopping! Now I am starting to get into the Christmas mood. Maybe I will decorate this weekend if I have time.
P came home from his Mamaw and S from her Papi and Nani. Both kids were pretty good. Neither acted up or crazy.
P went to bed really good for me. No fighting or fussing. S got up and down a few times... but finally went to sleep. She only got one bottle tonite when I first laid her down but nothing any other time she got up. She was so cute tho... she come out to the kitchen where I was... and would be like: hi mom. lol. then go running to the couch and hide her face! lol! P did get up one time to tell me he had to go pee really bad! lol. I dont know where he got that from- having to tell me when he has to use the bathroom... like getting permission or something.
It was finally a much needed good night!!
YELLOW: No TV, No movies and no sleeping in my bed.
If more than once in a week: In room for that night
If more than twice in a week: Toy box out of room
If more than 3x in a week: In room door closed
RED: No Tv, No movies, no sleeping in my bed, In own room for the night.
If more than once in a week: Toy box out of room, door closed
If more than twice in a week: Toy box out of room for a week, door closed
Better not happen anymore times!
PRINCIPLES OFFICE, NOTE HOME,ETC: No Tv, No movies, no sleeping in my bed, In own room for one week, tv out of room, toy box out of room, Door closed.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
It's not unusual for children -- especially those in their "terrible twos" and early teens -- to defy authority every now and then. They may express their defiance by arguing, disobeying or talking back to their parents, teachers or other adults. When this behavior lasts longer than six months and is excessive compared to what is usual for the child's age, it may mean that the child has a type of behavior disorder called oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).
ODD is a condition in which a child displays an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, hostile and annoying behavior toward people in authority. The child's behavior often disrupts the child's normal daily activities, including activities within the family and at school.
Many children and teens with ODD also have other behavioral problems, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, learning disabilities, mood disorders (such as depression) and anxiety disorders. Some children with ODD go on to develop a more serious behavior disorder called conduct disorder.
What Are the Symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
~Symptoms of ODD may include:
~Throwing repeated temper tantrums
~Excessively arguing with adults
~Actively refusing to comply with requests and rules
~Deliberately trying to annoy or upset others, or being easily annoyed by others
~Blaming others for your mistakes
~Having frequent outbursts of anger and resentment
~Being spiteful and seeking revenge
~Swearing or using obscene language
~Saying mean and hateful things when upset
~In addition, many children with ODD are moody, easily frustrated and have a low self-esteem. ~They also may abuse drugs and alcohol.
What Causes Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
The exact cause of ODD is not known, but it is believed that a combination of biological, genetic and environmental factors may contribute to the condition.
Biological: Some studies suggest that defects in or injuries to certain areas of the brain can lead to serious behavioral problems in children. In addition, ODD has been linked to abnormal amounts of special chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters help nerve cells in the brain communicate with each other. If these chemicals are out of balance or not working properly, messages may not make it through the brain correctly, leading to symptoms of ODD, and other mental illnesses. Further, many children and teens with ODD also have other mental illnesses, such as ADHD, learning disorders, depression or an anxiety disorder, which may contribute to their behavior problems.
Genetics: Many children and teens with ODD have close family members with mental illnesses, including mood disorders, anxiety disorders and personality disorders. This suggests that a vulnerability to develop ODD may be inherited.
Environmental: Factors such as a dysfunctional family life, a family history of mental illnesses and/or substance abuse, and inconsistent discipline by parents may contribute to the development of behavior disorders. This suggests that a vulnerability to develop ODD may be inherited.
Environmental: Factors such as a dysfunctional family life, a family history of mental illnesses and/or substance abuse, and inconsistent discipline by parents may contribute to the development of behavior disorders.
How Common Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
Estimates suggest that 2%-16% of children and teens have ODD. In younger children, ODD is more common in boys. In older children, it occurs about equally in boys and in girls. It typically begins by age 8.
How Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder Diagnosed?
As with adults, mental illnesses in children are diagnosed based on signs and symptoms that suggest a particular illness. If symptoms are present, the doctor will begin an evaluation by performing a complete medical history and physical examination. Although there are no laboratory tests to specifically diagnose ODD, the doctor may use various tests -- such as X-rays and blood tests -- to rule out physical illness or medication side effects as the cause of the symptoms. The doctor also will look for signs of other conditions that often occur along with ODD, such as ADHD and depression.
If the doctor cannot find a physical cause for the symptoms, he or she may refer the child to a child and adolescent psychiatrist or psychologist, mental health professionals who are specially trained to diagnose and treat mental illnesses in children and teens. Psychiatrists and psychologists use specially designed interview and assessment tools to evaluate a child for a mental illness. The doctor bases his or her diagnosis on reports of the child's symptoms and his or her observation of the child's attitude and behavior. The doctor often must rely on reports from the child's parents, teachers and other adults because children often have trouble explaining their problems or understanding their symptoms.
How Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder Treated?
Treatment is determined based on many factors, including the child's age, the severity of symptoms, and the child's ability to participate in and tolerate specific therapies. Treatment usually consists of a combination of the following:
Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy (a type of counseling) is aimed at helping the child develop more effective ways to express and control anger. A type of therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy aims to reshape the child's thinking (cognition) to improve behavior. Family therapy may be used to help improve family interactions and communication among family members. A specialized therapy technique called parent management training (PMT) teaches parents ways to positively alter their child's behavior.
Medication: While there is no medication formally approved to treat ODD, various medications may be used to treat some of its distressing symptoms, as well as any other mental illnesses that may be present, such as ADHD or depression.
What Is the Outlook for Children With Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
If your child is showing signs of ODD, it is very important that you seek care from a qualified doctor immediately. Without treatment, children with ODD may experience rejection by classmates and other peers because of their poor social skills, and aggressive and annoying behavior. In addition, a child with ODD has a greater chance of developing a more serious behavioral disorder called conduct disorder. When started early, treatment is usually very effective.
Can Oppositional Defiant Disorder Be Prevented?
Although it may not be possible to prevent ODD, recognizing and acting on symptoms when they first appear can minimize distress to the child and family, and prevent many of the problems associated with the illness. Family members also can learn steps to take if signs of relapse (return of symptoms) appear. In addition, providing a nurturing, supportive and consistent home environment with a balance of love and discipline may help reduce symptoms and prevent episodes of defiant behavior.
Reviewed by the doctors at The Cleveland Clinic Department of Psychiatry and Psychology.
For some reason it always seems on tuesdays... i am more tired than any other day of the week... and yesterday was no different.
I was over tired anyway... didnt sleep very good the night before. So I was a lot more irritable to begin with it...
The morning went pretty good... very minimal arguing.
When I went and picked up p from school he told me he was on red. His school has a "traffic light" system... Green - good, Yellow- warning, Red- big trouble. So I asked him why. He said he didnt know... oh... then he remembered- because he accidentally threw his lunch box down the hall... He was walking and swinging his arms high and it slipped out of his hand. (right) So I told him he was on punishment for the night... no movie, could not sleep in my bed, and after cubscouts he was to go right to bed. (even tho its his bed time by them anyway). He said so. I dont care... gggrrr...
I take him home to change and then over to my moms so I can go back to work. (yes i pick him up on my lunch). We get to my moms and I tell him that he has to do his homework before he can play and because after cubscouts he wont have time to... so he proceeds to throw a fit... she's not going to do his hoework... he doesnt have to do his homework.. etc... So I argue with him the rest of the time before i leave.
When I get over my moms after wokr to pick up him and his sister we decide to stay for dinner since my mom is watching S for me for the cubscout meeting. Well P had already made himself a bown of cereal. So I said fine instead of completely arguing with him and listening to him to him proceed to whine and cry, I told him that he could have the cereal but he had to sit at the table the entire time at dinner and not get up from his seat until everyone was finished eating. He said fine... went done and started eating... when he was finished he decieded to start throwing the dishes (luckily plastic and empty) off the table... I told him to stop and to pick up what was on the floor... He then started yelling and crying and saying that I make him do everything. I told him that if he didnt stop that he would be in time out... sooo... time out it was...
Now at my moms her bedrooms were full of gifts for Christmas... so I couldnt put him in a bedroom... so I made his sit in the bathroom... and so he decided to take everything that he could find and beat the door with it since I closed the door and stood there holding it so he couldnt open it after I left... So then I had to take everything out of the bathroom. After that.. he sat still and quiet for about 2 minutes if that... Finally I let him out and told him to put his uniform for cubscouts on. He did... all while running around the kitchen screaming...
Finally we left... went to cubscouts... and came home... to bed. And he actually did go to bed with out a fight.
and amazing... there a few people.. (they aint whores or anything like that) including me... that have slept with their friends and their friends boyfriends/girlfriends...
and its all a secret... only one or two people know that they have slept with this person... who is their best friends man/woman...
It just amazes me and honestly i was the same way... how casual sex has become... just another thing... at one time... it would have been looked down on severly to sleep with your friend's boyfriend or girlfriend even if they werent together at the time... or had split for good. Or if the person you slept with was married, even if they were "sepreated". How people dont think anything bad about sleeping around... friends with benifits... your friends current/ex lover... or a married person...
When did the idea that sex is supposed to be special change?
A refresher course on me and my Situation...
I am a single mom of 2 great kids. I work 3 jobs. I am a head person in my son's cubscouts. I have 4 animals (2 dogs, a cat, and a frog). I own my own home. I own my own car. I am currently 26yrs old (march 1982). I have anxiety issues. I am a born again Christian. I am divorsed. My kids have two different fathers. My son is white. My daughter is biracial. I was the "black sheep" of the family because I dated a black man.
I guess that is me in a nut shell! lol!
Now... for the next posting.
Please post any comments, questions or anything to anything I have wrote.