Friday, June 27, 2008

one for the girls- sent to me today!

One for the girls
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags .
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no gray
And as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done.

Five tips for a woman.....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note: One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


Why do us girls.. or problem just humans in general get attached and stay attached so easily?
I have a friend that just broke up a few months ago with an asshole guy... Unfortunatly she still loves him dearly and that have a kids together...
She just started dating this new guy... and everything is wonderful... but now she is seeing lil things that she doesnt like... and is starting to wonder if he is even someone she should be spending her time with if its just gonna be a waste... yet... she doesnt want to break it off yet. She is falling in love... and doesnt want to be single again... well not quite not single.. she doesnt want be without him. She wants to be in love.

Why do we get stuck on the first guy that treats us good? Why do we fall for a guy even tho we can see all the warning signs and see that the guy just aint the "one"? Why do we hold on to that guy that is all wrong for us just so we can have someone to love and will show us a lil bit of love in return?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Selective Memory...

Why is it that we forget all the bad things in a relationship once we are not in that relationship anymore?
I was in a crappy relationship about 8 months ago... I loved the man more than anything... but it was the hardest relationship that i was in. He was lazy, he was uncaring, he was irresponsible, he was mean, insensitive... etc.. yet i loved him...
We have been broke up for 8month... and I am starting to finally get over him... then he starts being nice to me... telling me how much he loves me and how sorry he is for everything and how he has changed...
Why should I believe him? and yet.... i start to.. I try and think about all the crappy time... the nights i cryed myself to sleep because of him, the times i felt absolutely worthless, the times i wished i was somewherelse... but its harder and harder everyday...
Why do we forget the shitty parts of a relationship? Why does our brain work like that... Why cant we remember all the b.s. that the man put us so that we dont end up back into this situation...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Why do we put our parents on suck a high pedistal?
My best friend called me today saying that she thinks that her mom is having an affair... and her world is shaken. If her parents who have been together for over 30 some years dont have a "committed" relationship... then whats the point of having one? Is there a such thing?
I know my mom always wanted me to see her as the perfect woman... never drank.. never did drugs... didnt cheat... (she did smoke, but back then it was safe! ha).. was the perfect mother, wife, friend,sister, etc... Now looking back on her... I have realized she wasnt all that perfect... and it kinda knocks her down a peg... and the things she wants me to believe she didnt do... just makes me think that she never had any fun... never had a life... doesnt have the expericances that I am going thru... so how am I to go to her for help and advise?
I am torn on what I want my kids to see me as growing up? Do I want them to see me as the "perfect" mom/person or do I want them to see me as human- one who makes many mistakes?
I used to not drink in front of my kids, or argue in front of my kids, or cry in front of my kids... but why? So when they are grown and realize that I did bad things in my life... they can think that I lied to them about it all? And here is where the old phrase "do as I say not as I do" comes into play... how can you tell your children not to grow up and do what you are doing... when you are doing it...
The advise I gave my friend today: Talk to your mom about what you are thinking and feeling... and remember she is only human too.

long deserved venting... lol.

Well its been way too long since my last entry... things have been hectic lately with me... and by thte time i have a free moment... honestly i dont want to think period...

lets see... where to start!!!

pey started tball last week... he is freakin good... this is his 2nd year at doing it... and really i am not sure if he should even be in tball.. but he is not old enuf yet to get into any other type of baseball... which kinda sucks cuz he is good... i mean i know i am partial because he is my son... but he's good... gonna make mommy some money one day! lol! he has his first game on thurs. so that should be exciting... i am hoping his father makes it to the game... I know a few of my friends will def be there cheering him on! I am excited!

My dad went back in the hospital a week ago... so we have been trying to get up to see him as much as possible... but its hard... especially with my hectic life here lately... its exhausting... but i try and be a good duaghter and get up to see him...
my mom went out of town last week... and so asked me to take my brother out to dinner and up to see my dad... so i did.. my brother is 42yrs old... and is mentally handicapped... he has the mentallity of a 3-4yr old... and is stuck in a 6ft 250lb body... which can be pretty strong when he wants to be... so anyway... i take him and my two kids out to dinner... luckily my good friend came along with us... which was a life saver! so we went to dinner and my brother decided he needed to go to the bathroom every 10min... then my son had to go inbetween that... and of course my daughter being the mama's girl that she is... didnt want me to leave.. so everytime i did... thru a fit over it... needless to say... by the end of it... i needed a drink... but other than the up and down and the constant pulling my bothers hands off of everyone hair that was around me ... it was a great time!!!

then for father's day i took everyone up to see my dad in the hospital and to take him our gifts for being a wonderful daddy to us...
well my son ate a peice of fruit that my mom gave my dad from my brother (yea if that made any sense) and in doing so... realized that his bottom tooth was loose! now im all excited... i love loose teeth... i almost miss having them... and playing with them... (yea..starting to realize that i have a slight facination with pain! lol! and that i am slightly odd too!lol! ) Well pey is freakin out... he starts crying and jumping up and down and just acting a fool cuz his tooth is loose and he's scared and he said it hurt!!! and decideds to do all this... in the middle of the hospital room!!! i keep tryin to calm him down and tell him its not as bad as he thinks it is... trying so hard not to laugh at the same time because the faces that he is making are just hilarious... you woulda thought someone just bit him or something... i cant even explain how he looked... ireally wish i woulda had my camera then! lol! finally i got him calmed down... and tried to explain everything to him.... then he was fine... and excited... but i could see still worried.... but hes good now... cant wait for it to come out so he can get some money from teh toothfairy! lol!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

On-line dating

Ok.. so I was never a fan of the whole "on-line" dating scene... Always kinda thought of it as pathetic.. you cant meet people out in the real world and so you meet them thru some dating site and come to realize... they are absolutely nothing you think they are... lol.
But a few months ago one of my best friends told me about a site that he had joined- and it was free... So I figure- ah ... what the heck... I will give it a try... maybe it will help me thru the funk that I was in... I havent really dated in over 8 months...
So I joined and it was cool... Had a lot of responses, some idiots, some assholes, and some complete phsycos! But overall I couldnt complain... And as time went on there were a few guys on there that I talked to on a regular basis and actually met a few of them... but that was about it. Then I met one guy... and we emailed back and forth for a few weeks, we talked on the phone for another few weeks, found out that we had a lot of common friends- yet we never met or at least that neither of us could recall. So finally he asked me out on a date. I said yes. But I will admit that I was very skeptical. I honestly didnt think anything would come of it other than a new friend to hang out with... So we got and play putt-putt... and had a freakin great time... I dont think we stopped laughing and joking with each other the entire time. It was honestly the most fun I had had with a guy in a long long time! Then the end of the date came when it was time for me to go and pick up my daughter... and honestly I didnt really want the date to end... so I told him that I was having people over for a fire and invited him a long too... and it was a great night... We all had a lot of fun! Then it came time for him to go home... and I took him and dropped him off... and he didnt kiss me or make any type of move on me... (which was really sweet)... So I left and got home and called him (i know stalkerish! lol! ) but I just didnt want the night to end. And we have been hanging out and having a great time ever since... Who woulda ever thought I would find someone in that manner... but now I am wondering... Its really only been a few weeks since we starting "dating" ... Should I delete my dating account? Should I expect him to delete his? Should I keep it just in case it dont work out? I havent hardly been on in the last few weeks... and I havent replyed to any emails on there at all... but I am curious about him? If he is still on there talking to people... and it really shouldnt matter cuz we aren't "together" but I will admit that it does make me wonder slightly bout what he's thinking about...
What do you think? Do you think I should delete mine already? What are you opinions on internet dating? Can it work?

Thursday, June 12, 2008


Masterbation is something that everyone has at least tried once... and the majority of us have tried many many times... and become experts at it! lol!

But is masterbation wrong?

I know from my own personal standpoint... NO... its human nature... its something that needs to be done from time to time especially if you are not in a relationship... everyone needs that release.

Me personally... I do enjoy masterbating... I love the sensation... I love the control... I love to cum. And I can make myself cum hard that way... I have been doing it since I was at least 7 or 8. And unfortunately since I have been doing it for so long... Its hard for me to cum hard any other way- not impossible, just hard. lol. But over the years as I have gotten older and in and out of relationships, I have started to feel dirty or guilty when I do it, like this is something I should be sharing with the man I love... not all alone... So I rarely anymore do it... only if there is a great need for that release. But I still don't see it as wrong.

My ex on the other hand did. He felt it was cheating. You shouldn't cum unless you are with someone... And I dont believe in that.. especially when he would go 2-3 weeks at a time where he didnt want to have sex... I am the type of person.. I would like it everday if I could... so to go 2-3 weeks without anything... was insane for me... a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do... He never caught me... and I am not sure if he ever knew until I told him a few days ago in the middle of an argument...

I have talked to a few different people regarding their opinions on this... and I have found people that feel guilty afterwards like me... feel like its cheating... and feel its completely normal thing to do... as much as possible...

At what point is it bad to masterbate tho? If you are in a relationship and having sex an adequate amout should you still do it? Should you do it when your partner is asleep right next to you? In the shower? In another room? Should it be done together when penetration is not something that is able to happen?

I think masterbation is something that is needed time to time... Something you should not be ashamed of . If you are in a relationship it should be done with respect, not next to your lover cuz your pissed off or whatever but when you are alone and not able to be with your lover. And you should be open about it with that person. Not lie about it, not deny it, and not get pissed off cuz you find out that your lover did this without you...cuz you know you have done it too.

Monday, June 9, 2008


I have had a horrible weekend. I mean it had good moments here and there but for the overall feel of the weekend wasnt that great...
I am emotionally and physically drained today. I am losing my voice and i am completely exhausted.
Today i just want to go home and lay in bed all day... Forget about the rest of the world for a few moments!
Why does life and relationships have to be so hard? All i have dremt about since I was a lil kid was just a simple but happy life... I didnt desire to have a mansion, expensive cars or anything like that ( i mean if it were to happy i wouldnt complain! lol! ) All I have ever wanted was happines. I wanted a man in my life to love me for me... for all that i am, mind, spirit, and body... and till this day i still havent found that man... and as soon as i think maybe I have... something happens and makes me question him, us, and the whole situation. I want to be married one day. I want to be a wife, a mother, a true woman. I want to be able to be home for my family for my kids, my husband. I want to take care of him and in return feel that i am taken care of too. I dont want riches, fame, or a glamorous life syle... I simple want to be happy and to have a family.
I am just so tired of being tired all the time... I am tired of feeling like i am working for something... I am fighting for something... and in the end its not even worth the effort, its not even worth anything. I just want to share my life with someone.. and I am starting to wonder when that will actaully be... I know God had a plan for me... and I am trying to be patient right now..
I am at the point where I feel like I just need to start over... move... far away... or at least out of my 9 block radius life! Maybe if I start fresh,things will be better...
I am seriously starting to feel like I am surrounded by selfish idiots... Everyone depends on me for everything with them. Expects me to take care of every problem that may come up... then they show up afterward like nothings even happening. Why should I be the only one that has to worry everyday about who's going to watch my kids, why should I have to remind and remind and remind everyone else about thier obligations? Why do I have to be a mother to everyone??? Why cant people just be responsible for their own things? And if I dont remind remind remind... then I am the one who ends up getting screwed over... and the one that forgot.... doesnt even offer to help with the problem!!!


Saturday, June 7, 2008

scrambled eggs

ok... this is a funny story ... i have been meaning to write on here about this especially this one... it is hilarious!!!
a couple fridays ago... me and the kiddies and my parents go to ihop for dinner... Peyton was in rare form that night... Wouldn't listen for nothing.... so finally he started getting etter and listening to things.... so we got our dinner...
Peyton had chocolate chip pancakes and sissy had scrambled eggs and pancakes... So when petyon got finished eating he decided to g underneith the table and play... and by this poiint i was to drained to fight with him about sitting in his seat...
so sissy is sitting there eating away and she dropped part of her scrambled eggs so peyton was down there was going to pick them and give them back to sissy... as soon as i seem him starting to do that i told him no... theyare kaka... so he decides to put the scrambled eggs in between my toes...
lol. i couldnt believe it... i just looked at him and was like... why did you do that?? and his response was... i dunno..

Wednesday, June 4, 2008


Is it wrong in this day in age to want an "old fashioned" relationship? One where the man takes care of the woman... the man is the bread winner of the family... He goes to work and takes care of his family, that weight isn't on the woman's shoulders? Is that wrong to want? To want to get married and be able to quit or at least work less so you can be home with your family, make the house spotless- or at least try- be ready for your love to come home from work so you can pamper him. Is it wrong for a woman to want to be taken care of or to want to take care of her man and her family?
It seems like now a days it's taboo for a woman to want to be a house wife or a stay at home mom. A woman should have a job. A woman should make her own money. A woman should be independent.
If you told a man that you wanted to be able to one day be a stay at home mom... his first thought- Gold Digger! and granted in some instances that may be... (but then again.. i have encountered where the man was the Gold Digger too) by why should that be the first thought?

And I guess anymore with the way this world works, with men (and woman) cheating, lieing, abuse of any sort, and everyday stresses... it good for the female to be able to get away from the relationship if needed have that back up...

With all the assholes that are out there now a days... screwing over men anyway they can, trying to milk the man for all he's worth... just kinda ruined it for us woman to want and are willing to give the real thing...

Tuesday, June 3, 2008


so i have an ex that i am still completely in love with.. He is the biggest asshole around.. and for some odd reason... i can not stay away from him! He treated me like shit when we were together, i bought him a car, took care of him when he was off work... he need/wanted anything... i got it for him... and he left me. So now... a year later... a roller coaster of a year later... where one minute he loves me and is sorry and wants to work it out, then the next minute he hates my guts and is completely done... He sent me a text message last night at 1130 saying he wants to make love to me so bad, that he loves me so much and misses me so much. Well his phone is still in my name and happened to have to go online and check the bill amout to tell him what he owes me... and I just happened to look at his call details for last night... and what a suprise, He was on the phone with some chic for over a half hour... for someone that wants to be with me... he sure does spend a lot of time on the phone with this certain person... many many calls to them. And it wouldnt be a big deal if for 1-he wasnt trying to get back with me... and 2- he always told me that- guys and girls can not just be friends, there always has to be something more!!!
Why do I have to be so pathetic!!! Why can't I just walk away from him and be done? He is so not good for me. I am trying to go out and meet new people... to move on.. and I have met at least one guy who is great... and I am still stuck on this moron.
I completely understand the whole love is blind phrase... love is blind and makes you stupid!